“Not All Who Wander”

Day 3 Self-Love Journal Prompts

3. When do you feel most confident?

Confidence is s difficult concept for me. For years I've struggled with confidence in social settings and I struggled with making and keeping friendships. But in this time period, I rarely struggled with any body insecurities. I was comfortable in how I looked for the most part, and where I wasn't I was at least neutral. In recent years my social confidence has grown a little bit, especially since moving away to college. I've been forced out of my shell a little and had to make an all new set of friends. with that though, my confidence in my appearance has dipped a bit. My weight has increased since COVID in 2020 and at first it didn't bother me, but last Summer and Fall were rough. I'm at a point now though where I've kind of found my own personal style, and that's made having to buy new clothes that fit a little easier on me. I'm at least neutral about my insecurities most days now, if not comfortable.

Because of the fluctuation of my self confidence, I've indulged a bit in some of the things that help me feel more confident. One way I've done this is by experimenting with my style! (pictures below lol) While I'm definitely not that edgy, I've been having a lot fun wearing jewelry, makeup, and clothing that in the past would have been out of my comfort zone. I'm still finding my style, but taking the time to stretch my personal taste and experiment has really helped me :)

We found SO MANY gluten free options on our trip to New Orleans! There were a ton of options (which seems so rare) and we were able to try so many new things, and I never got sick!

Tried arepas at a place called Maïs Arepas for the first time and they were AMAZING! Mine had beef, a plantain, and mozzarella in it, with plantain chips and rosado sauce to dip them in!

Found a place called The Daily Beet with absolutely amazing açaí bowls, and it was so yummy! I ended up buying a bag of their granola to take home with me! Their oats were certified gluten free :)

Another place, Bons New Orleans Street Food, had gluten free beignets (or calas) that were to die for. They were so good. I also got some Mexican street corn with pork and it was delicious!

The last place we stopped on the way home was a cute little cafe called Bearcat that had gluten free pancakes!

“But shouldn’t all of us on earth give the best we have to others and offer whatever is in our power?”

— Hans Christian Andersen

i looooove characters who are sacrificial lamb coded. characters who have never lived for themselves. characters born to be a tool, a weapon, a sacrifice, all of the above. a character raised by the heroes to save the world, at any expense, even their own health, even their own life. a character raised by the villains to end the world, at any expense, even their own health, even their own life. characters who are denied personhood so they can be used as tools instead. characters who never even had a chance to be people because they were shaped into something else from the moment they were born. characters who were born to die.

Lewis Hamilton wins the British Grand Prix

can someone hire me as a lighthouse keeper. my grip on reality is soooo stable and i will behave so normally under conditions of extreme isolation. and i promise i wont try to fuck the light

sketchbook_jpeg

Being an adult woman is just like “oh my tummy hurts” “oh my head hurts” “oh the burden of being alive is so heavy today” and then carrying on with your day.

hi! how are you? ı hope you are having a nice day. do you have a favorite poet? can ı request a poem, if any?

:')

hiii

my favorite poet atm is Richard Siken. It changes a lot, but I adore poetry with strong specific imagery but that doesn't outwardly say anything, you know? I don't want them to tell me they love the person who left them. I want them to describe their overcoat's smell and the sheer hopelessness of life and a stranger's hands, or maybe something fantastical and absurd, and through that I want them to convey their message. Here's your poem, I hope you enjoy it :)

Eucharist

I am opening myself up

again, slowly,

prying my fingers into the dust-lined cracks

at the great cathedral doors of my

being, feeling splinters and soft

old wood meet my fingers like a warning:

you do things this way,

you might get hurt.

The warning never changes

but the outcome sometimes does and so

I dig my nails

in, feel ancient dirt gather

beneath them, and I pull. Wood creaking

like bones shifting, like mountains breathing,

and the light begins to spill in again,

and fear evaporates

the way mist does when the sun

brushes the hills in the morning,

and we are inside once more-

the stained glass still glitters,

the sound still

chatters off of every great stone palisade,

ringing,

a choir of one voice, just mine, crying out:

If I do it, it will be with love.

If I do it, it will be for love.