Are Flamethrowers Filled Up With Hairspray? And If So What Brand?

Why aren't pagans more afraid of Starbucks baristas?

I just started the Simmerilion and Melkor is such a cringefail guy.

Dude is like 'haha I ruined your song! I am evil! mwa haha' and Erü is like. 'no you're not I wanted you to do that.' And Melkor is just so disappointed by that news.

Then when all the valar are down on earth and taking physical forms he's like 'damn that's cool' but is still kinda seething cause music mayhem didn't work out. So he gets himself a physical form but cause he's still a bit grumpy it doesn't quite work out and he accidentally makes it kinda big and scary (and I could be wrong but the way it reads is that) the valar take it as a threat and start fighting him.

Dude can't catch a break he's so silly. it seems more like a comedy at this point.

What's the singular for scissors?

Cuz it's like. I have scissors, there's scissors over there, I need a pair of scissors, can you get me the bucket of scissors etc.

Is it scissor, scissy-... Wait... Hold on... Oh.

Ex: can you get me the scissor bucket.

Nevermind. I'm just stupid.

WAIT HALLMARK MOVIES ARE MADE BY THE CARD COMPANY????

This whole time I thought that there was a director named Hallmark who was famous for making really bad Christmas movies and thus the name Hallmark movies.

Why do I have to voice act just to talk to people? What do you mean 'it's fine' has negative connotations? And why the fudge did my phone just offer me a crying cyclops emoji?

What even is this?

WHAT EVEN IS THIS?

WHY IS THIS A THING?

WHO MADE THIS?

WHAT?!

We're just a bunch of atom's that can think.

We're all hollow.

Seduces you with cheese

I just remembered that when I was in elementary school learning multiplication and division me and my entire grade all collectively forgot how to add and subtract so we all had to be retaught how to do it.

Mirror mirror on the wall.

Who's the most dramatic b**** of them all?