I Am Craving Something That Will Consume My Soul.

I've already had this fanfic-y sort of relationship where we both had had crushes on each other for a long time before we confessed our feelings but in hindsight that relationship was hollow as shit. It was all about the aesthetic of loving someone instead of actually knowing and loving your partner for what they are. It didn't help that it was an online relationship, too. So I both want and do not want to experience a romcom-like relationship again, because even though it's fun at first, reality always kicks in eventually. It's like recording a video of popping a christmas cracker and making it look all fancy and pretty, but then still having to sweep up the confetti afterwards

All the romantic dramas I've watched in the past month have poisoned my brain and deluded me into thinking that I too have a chance at a genuine romantic relationship full of angst but also comfort and mutual pining which is as far from reality as possible and I am not okay

You know, all that shit that your brain makes up every now and then

That you're uncapable of change

That you're just pretending

That you are worthless

That you're wasting time

That in the future you will be so sorry for what you did or didn't do

Trying to shut it doesn't help. You need to face all that crap - slam the door and say:"Bring it on, bitch!"

And then

Take all the skill you have in debating

And destroy the annoying fucker

Not literally though, you kind of need it to live

I don't expect anybody to reply really, but let it be on my blog just in case

Reblog this if its okay for your followers to introduce themselves to you.

Just come to my ask box and tell me stuff about yourself. Your pets. Your favorite music. What you had for breakfast this morning. Literally anything you want, I love making new friends

No hate towards Force's acting skills, but he literally looks perpetually constipated the entire series

losing it at the way top just stares helplessly into the void while his two exes try to 1-up each other at pub trivia

Matching wallpapers for y'all

Rewatching the first season of Friends

God damn it they were all hot

I am Mew and Mew is me

Seriously, the guy:

1. Doesn't want a one-night stand because he knows he'll fall hard

2. Apologises to the guy he didn't hook up with because you know he got his hopes up and all

3. Brings said guy to a bookshop the next day and talks about his love for reading

4. Is extremely cute and wears glasses

Gmmtv I am gonna sue you for identity theft because what is this

I am so pissed off that every single tumblr playlist is on spotify and it's not available in my country

Is it okay that 1 season Monica and Joey look a lot more like siblings than Monica and Ross

Entering your Productive™ phase for exactly 24 minutes a day, if you miss it, you're screwed

Adding 3848037 new books to your list, never finishing any

Getting interested in something and then dropping it 2 hours later

Trying to organize a study group with your friends but your meetings turn into heated discussions about the futility of getting a degree

Putting off your hw to the next morning on the condition that you wake up earlier - you never do

Modern chaotic academia things:

(think dark academia minus the grace)

Coffee and cigarettes for breakfast

That hazy, grey sky, empty city feeling you only get when you're unwilling awake at 5:30 am

Being pulled aside by your teacher cos the last paper assignment you handed in smelt of weed

TEA AND COFFEE STAINS EVERYWHERE

Hurriedly doing your homework/coursework that's due in 30 minutes on the train to school

Experimenting with strange sleep patterns to see if it helps you study

Spending more time taking dark academia aesthetic photos than actually working on said academia

It is impossible to work without a podcast or lofi hip hop in the background

Or without listening to the accompaniment music to your favourite musical theatre songs

Buying and stockpiling ultra sour/spicy food to keep you awake

Being able to locate your nearest bizzaar shop with frightening accuracy and making after-school trips there

Believing more in your good luck charms and crystals than your actual ability for exams

W H I S K E Y

Memorising strange Latin phrases solely because they sound thought provoking when translated

Hyperfocusing on work at 1 am

Commuting around the city with either electronic or rock music BLARING in your headphones but listening to quiet podcasts when you're alone in your room

Blowing off your studies to go out with friends but taking a book because you feel guilty

An OBSESSION with succulents

Please stop buying succulents

Trying to rock the 'office chic blouse/dress shirt with black tie' look but it ends up looking so crumpled you ressemble an actual office worker at the end of their shift

Changing the settings on your phone to try and immerse yourself in your new language, failing spectacularly and having no idea how to change it back

The above but when your keyboard settings start glitching and your texts are punctuated by nonsense from another languらたの、

Every book you own has creased pages, most of which are your doing

Going on midnight walks to clear your mind but you're instead worried you're gonna get stabbed on said walk

Memeing with teachers to the point your relationship with them feels awkward and skewed

You are the mother of at least 50 smaller school children and you know about all their problems

And my favourite:

Procrastinating by learning how to elegantly draw a curve in calculus instead of doing your calculus homework

Feel free to continue the list - I'll come back and add more if I think of any new ones.