I Just Realized Something...

I’ve hinted at it in other posts I’ve made, but the idea that Danny is just a little to non-human for people’s comfort is a head cannon I love. Which is half the reason he ends up in Gotham.

Gotham is cursed. Like full on, cursed the land the city was built on it’s imbedded in the brick and mortar of the buildings, cursed. But it leaves all Gothamites with a certain level of tolerability.

So Danny, who had the police called on him 5 different times during a college visit in metropolis because he was just a little too uncanny and everyone felt a certain degree of uncomfortable around him, learned that gothamites still pick up on the uncanny, but they can ignore it. At most he kinda get’s side eyed when he passes by, but most of Gotham gives off an odd vibe so they take it at face value and move on. Danny is not a registered rogue and is also not actively holding them up and they have better places to be.

That doesn’t mean it’s always ignored though. After Danny is admitted to the aerospace engineering program at Gotham U a Twitter account pops up that’s just called “Local GU Cryptid sightings.” It’s just pictures of Danny sleeping in the weirdest fucking places or security footage of him that keeps bugging out because they learn that they can’t take pictures of the kid without the footage going a little buggy.

The students in Danny’s cohort use the account to gauge Danny’s sanity level. They were not afraid to ask what was up with him, and instead of saying he’s a ghost he admitted to essentially living above a radioactive portal that contaminated him. His eyes glow and he has sharper teeth and ears. Also digital anything cannot capture his likeness.

And this was fascinating to them. They started doing some research because they wanted to know why some images had more distortion than others. Turns out the more tired Danny is the more distorted the photo becomes. So every now and then you’ll see someone snap a photo of Danny and be like “go home!” (They refer it to it as Danny’s sanity level because one time he started laughing so hard they thought he’s been gassed, but turns out he hadn’t slept in a week).

Still, it’s sorta become a game. Like how there are accounts that post pictures of the campus squirrels. It’s just that but with absurd Danny sightings. Someone caught him asleep in a tree once. No one knows how he got up there but he was sleeping against a gargoyle in the middle of the night and for the life of them they couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t just go home (he likes sleeping under the stars sometimes, even if he can’t see them through the smog). A teacher sent a student to retrieve something from storage. Danny was also down there, and can apparently see in the dark since said student turned the corner to a dark hall and glowing green eyes. (Geezus Danny you scared the shit out of me. Now don’t move. I need proof this happened or no one will believe me.)

It’s all pretty harmless. The first time Danny gets caught up in a rouge attack his teenage vigilante instincts kick in and he decks the leader in the face knocking him out cold.

Bruce is concerned because footage of the fight is distorted but both Jason and Tim take one look and laugh. “It’s just Danny. We already vetted him. He’s good,l. Remember the GCPD’s request about that kid who disarmed a bomb and disappeared? That was Danny. He was tired and likes to canabilize machines for his projects.”

Danny not a born Gothamite, but he certainly feels like one so they accept him into the fold easily enough.

And we're back with it!

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

Half ghosts can't sleep normally. Ghosts don't need to rest for long and they don't sleep the way mortals do. It's more like torpor. Halfas also needs to go through torpor but it's not easy for warm-blooded creatures to do it. They need a specific environment. They naturally want a cold environment that has a lot of pressure on them. Just like if they were buried in their grave.

Danny has to deal with it somehow. He uses about 10 weighted blankets and as many frozen compresses as he can get. It's not working well but it's something.

That is until he had a run in with Mr.Freeze. Being locked in a small container meant to freeze him to death slowly until Batman came was not bad at all. Being locked in the equivalent of a frozen coffin gave Danny the best sleep he had had in a long time. A bit more pressure and it would be perfect for him. Just like being entombed in the cold dark earth where he felt like he belonged.

Just remembered a dream I had last night.

(+18 mentions, be warned)

So, the dream was about Gru and the minions, right? So, Gru was making the minions build a new place, and for some weird reason every few minutes while in the base, Gru would close his eyes and the next thing I knew he's half naked and a bunch of minions are opening his legs for another minion to enter him... Yea.... It was a weird dream....

Have fun with the mental image!!

Constantine: I hate to say it. But we might need help from... The Ghost King.

The last phrase is whispered with a depth of terror the heroes assembled had never heard before from the man who fucked demons.

Batman: the ghost king?

Constantine, gravely: yes. I don't know much about the new one- just that ue managed to defeat the fearsome Pariah Dark- the king feared by all the biggest bads in all the Realms of heaven, hell, and everything in between, before and beyond. In single combat.

Wonder woman frowned, : so.... can you summon him?

Constantine shifts uneasily: summoning the ghost king- particularly one as fearsome as Phantom- is quite the risk, it could get us all killed in a moment- or worse. He is the ghost king, after all.

Impulse frowns. The name 'Phantom'and 'Ghost King' was familiar... but why... he turned to the side, to spot Rook (Tim) napping quietly in his seat, a can of zesti by his info pack- and that was when it clicked.

He nudged Tim. "Hey. Hey Tim?" He whispered.

"Mm?"

"Isn't that the guy you were fucking?"

Rook raised his head to stare blankly into Impulse's eyes. "What?"

"You know, the person you and uhhh- code name... fuck it. You and Bernard fucked?"

At this point, Clark raised an eyebrow at the whispered conversation, whilst Kon was hiding his grin.

Rook continued to stare blankly. "You're going to need to be more specific. "

Impulse sighs, irritated, "Phantom. The fearsome and deadly, possibly evil ghost king?" He gestures to where Constantine was drawing up a variety of different reasons why he shouldn't be forced to make a summoning circle to call Phantom.

Tim frowned at the board. "Oh. Hmm. Well he wasn't the evil ghost king when i was dating him that was his evil alternate future self."

This statement caused more than a few heroes to turn his way, eyebrows raised.

Nightwing: ....anything you wanna say there, Rook?

Rook glared at Impulse before rolling his eyes before the domino, "nah just talking about how I ficked the guy Constantine is stressing over."

The statement silenced the entire table. Constantine glanced between Rook, the board, and back again.

Constantine: you....fucked... the ghost king???

Tim: well I mean it was out of office hours so was it really fucking a king, or-

Constantine: EVEN I WOULDNT DO THAT

Tim: well I certainly hope you wouldn't. He's a bit young for you.

Various different heroes snort or stiffle laughter at the statement.

Nightwing, frowning: R, I thought you were dating B?

Tim turns horrified eyes to Nightwing, "YOU THOUGHT I WAS DATING OUR FATHER????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-"

Nightwing: oh, no, I meant your boyfriend!

Tim: BATMAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-

Nightwing: no no no B as in the conspiracy theorist boyfriend.

Tim: oh. Yeah I am.

Nightwing: but you fucked-

Tim: dated, actually. Dating, technically.

Nightwing: you know I never thought I'd have to have this conversation with you, Rook , but cheating is bad.

Nightwing turns to Batman helplessly, "help me out here B...atman."

Bruce raises an eyebrow in response. "Rook your brother is right."

Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'm not cheating. Anyway, why do we want to call Danny?"

Constantine gestures vaguely at the monitors and they flare to life with a live video feed of Undergrowth ripping a city to the ground.

Tim: huh. Just a sec.

He turns to his phone and taps for a moment

Tim: he'll be here in a moment,

Danny, in full king regalia, behind Constantine: hey R. What's up? OH are you the guy whose soul is owned by like a gazillion other people?

Constantine gulps.

Danny grins: can I have your soul?? Only I kinda want to fight in the bidding fight-

Constantine: the what fight?

Danny: you know, for your soul? May the best and most dangerous individual win?

Constantine has suddenly gone very, very pale.

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.

G e g g

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

Date her mom

this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔