If Hatred Is What Fuels Your Activism, Then Your Activism Is Probably Bullshit

whenever i hear about wether transandrophobia is real or not (it is) or any of that sort of discourse i think about the time i was at a local queer support group and we were talking about past experiences in our community and other queer people we may have known and weren’t around anymore. i mentioned a trans boy i used to know back when i lived in iraq, who was honor killed due to his parents finding out about him being a man. i remember some of the others in the group were shocked because they either didn’t know that honor killings were still a thing or, in some cases, some of them were shocked the honor killing would happen to a trans man. they thought that, since masculinity is “so praised” in the middle east (it is but not in the way they think), then parents wouldn’t kill their trans son.

Damn. That's horrible and I'm sorry that's something that happened to you. It just goes to show how just the "being a man" part of being a trans man doesn't make you exempt from bigotry, discrimination and oppression, especially if you're bipoc.

I'm nonbinary and transmasculine. I don't tend to disclose my transmasculinity nor my ASAB to anyone because I just don't think it's relevant, I just say "I'm nonbinary". I also have a relatively androgynous face and haircut so people have a really hard time telling what my birth sex was.

Today, I posted something about exorsexism in the trans community, and some random trans woman (and when I say woman I mean woman, late twenties), came into my DMs asking me whether I was AMAB or AFAB. Interesting how she asked "are you" and not "were you", proving that she doesn't quite grasp what those labels even mean.

I told her I wasn't comfortable sharing that because it felt like disclosing that would be boxing me into either "girl nonbinary" or "boy nonbinary" which is what society does to nonbinary people at large. She said she was trans and that "she would never do that", but I still told her I wasn't really okay with telling.

She insisted, and insisted and insisted and insisted and then brought up old posts of mine to... transvestigate me?? Like she was saying shit like "oh you said this and this and this so you must be AMAB" and "wait but you also said this and this and this so you might be AFAB, which one is it??"

I asked her "why do you even care that much about a teenager's genitals lmao" and she immediately lost her shit, called me transmisogynistic for "accusing a trans woman of pedophilia", followed that up with "I just wanted to know whether you were TMA or TME but now it's obvious", and then blocked me.

Sigh. Why can't grown ass adults on the internet go a single day without harassing teenagers and then acting like victims about it?

This is so weirddd... whyyy are people like this??

it's actually crazy to me the way people will just say regular 2014 style truscum shit except change "fakers" and "fetishists" and "hurting trans people" to "theyfabs" and "internalized transmisogyny" and "hurting trans women" & everyone eats that shit up like they're starving. I thought we learned but yall really are just memorizing buzzwords huh

Hello, here to remind people that this discourse is hurting nonbinary people as well, especially nonbinary transmascs.

Please include your nonbinary siblings in your advocacy, and don’t forget to uplift their voices as well. The assholes calling people “theyfabs” and denying the existence of transandrophobia aren’t just out to get trans men.

Half the posts I see are about "theyfab trender tme they/hes", they hate nonbinary people too.

Trans men are left out of the conversation far too often; please don't repeat the same mistake with a different group.

Often posts would go:

*describes a bad thing that many people may go through* (Okay. Nice. Good discourse.)

*adds an addendum about how it disproportionately affects trans women* (Excellent. Important to say. Good addition.)

*adds an addendum to that addendum that specifies I'm a stinky TME and calls trans men a slur* (Why. Why did you have to say that. I get that you hate yourself. I get that you're in a competition to be the feministest. But it's so unnecessary. It also detracts attention from the group whose voices you were trying to boost.)

ofc the person saying intersex people can't be trans if they don't conform to the sex binary and mtf or ftm "standard" also recommends the platform that's actively erasing us intersex and transmasc people

and to archive their latest take on us:

Galaxy brain genderfuck call yourself whatever you want cryptid neurogender fagdyke throwing up pissing and shitting himself at the transfem butch that goes by she/her

The thing about internet discourse intellectuals that will really rub me the wrong way, is they will be like, 'you don't fit my Very intellectual framework, so I think you are a dangerous force and should die screaming,' with no self awareness on how embarrassing their arrogant callousness is, as well as it being, in fact, reactionary and not Very Intellectual.

If you're going to claim that a country is evil but also threaten to harm people who have left that country, then like... what do you want?

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