I'm Nonbinary And Transmasculine. I Don't Tend To Disclose My Transmasculinity Nor My ASAB To Anyone

i am cracking up why are y’all obsessed with calling jewish anarchists zionists (hint: it’s the antisemitism)

Hey y’all; would be real interested to hear from anyone willing to share and discuss, about other people’s experiences of transandrophobia specifically in fandom spaces.

I guess I’m just trying to find some more solidarity about the issue since fandom is such an escapism hobby and when that gets tainted, it really, really sucks.

Some of my own experiences include (tw: sa mention | tw: dv):

- Getting told I can’t write realistic gay mlm sex scenes because I’m a trans gay man not a cisgender gay man (but the cisgender woman who said it to me can write realistic gay mlm sex??? 🤔 make it make sense)

- Getting told it’s fetishistic for me specifically to write about male characters in anything but platonic relationships

- Getting mocked after mentioning not being able to watch an episode of a show because there was a male rape scene and as a rape survivor that identifies as male, it was too triggering. Cue the ‘men can’t be raped’ and ‘you’re not actually a man if you say you were raped’ comments. Then having a gif of the rape scene in question sent to me via PM as a ‘joke’.

- Talked about having some empathy for a character who experienced intimate partner violence because of my own experience. Getting told by someone relatively prominent in that fandom that it’s different because those are ‘two male characters’ and that I ‘deserved’ the domestic abuse I experienced with my ex because I’m a trans man who ‘tricked’ a gay man into being with me. (For the record my partner was bi and he knew I was trans before we got together, but fuck me I guess!)

are you for fucking real

so you dont consider nonbinary people to be oppressed? since youre fucking comparing them to white people? jesus christ yall fucking suck

theyfab might not be on the level of a slur but its definitely still a pejorative aimed at a MINORITY group and reducing nonbinary people to their agab

yall are so far gone theres literally no point in talking to yall

Master List of Trans Male/Transmasc Privileges:

The privilege to be forcibly married off

The privilege of being raped and impregnated to "correct" their gender

The privilege of not being treated like a rational human being that knows their body by doctors

The privilege of having your existence erased

The privilege to have little to no studies about trans people involve your voice

The privilege to not have access to domestic violence shelters due to being a man (and not allowed in women's shelters) and not having many, if any shelters for men

The privilege of having your transition treated like you're becoming a violent, disgusting, monster

The privilege of having any sort of hormonal transition impossible to be done DIY due to heavy restrictions on testosterone.

The privilege of increased risk of cervical cancer due to reduced access to pap smears

The privilege of having abortion rights not apply to you

The privilege of being over twice as likely to be raped, compared to cis women (51%/21.3%)

The privilege of having almost 5x the chance of being sexually abused as a child, compared to cis women (50%:11.1%)

The privilege that when you are assaulted, to not have access to rape kits

The privilege of not being able to report a hate crime due to barriers

The privilege of experiencing isolation, rejection and distrust due to now presenting masculine

The privilege to have your pregnancy treated as some sort of sick joke

The privilege of a lack of credible research about how to provide adequate healthcare to transgender men undergoing medical transition

The privilege of not being invited for ovarian cancer screenings due to your gender being listed as M

The privilege of doctors not knowing how to check for breast cancer if you've had top surgery

The privilege of an increased risk of AIDS due to the most common PrEP meds such as Descovy not working on AFAB individuals

Others feel free to chime in! The list is ever growing

Intro post

Just so this isn't a blank blog, I am going to say for now that I intend for this blog to be made for collecting instances of transmisandry/trnasandrophobia (I will not be picky about the word others use I hate shit like that but I will use both for slightly different things) to point to when people try to tell you that it isn't real. If I figure out how to do submissions I might take some later.

The thing about internet discourse intellectuals that will really rub me the wrong way, is they will be like, 'you don't fit my Very intellectual framework, so I think you are a dangerous force and should die screaming,' with no self awareness on how embarrassing their arrogant callousness is, as well as it being, in fact, reactionary and not Very Intellectual.

Oh! Apparently transandrophobes are now being very mask off with the fact that they are the same community as truscum/transmeds, 2019 exclus, and every other "grrr other queer people" group!

I just realized why trans radfems piss me off so much more than cis ones, cis radfems are idiots who got wrapped in or concluded themselves that being trans is a choice and that the ridged social structures that need a police state to inforce it somehow concerned with biology, TRANS radfems went through a whole ass transition (while saying that trans is short for transition the same way that any other radfem does) and THEN somehow unlearned everything that they and other transfems had to deal with growing up or literally ignore the things that they and other transmascs go through now for some semblance of comfort that they think is more important than not throwing their community under the bus

Yep, they're traitors, through and through

"i have no doubts about the rich inner world of their own gender identies but it's clear they are just men trying to be predatory" how can you write something like this without realizing how transphobic it is holy mother of fucking god. maybe they feel connected to masculinity and not manhood BECAUSE THEY DO NOT IDENTIFY AS MEN. it is not some secret mask to hide behind so they can abuse you. jesus fucking christ the fearmongering has to stop. the perpetual victimhood has to stop. if you have so few braincells you think a non stealth transmasc is oppressing you then maybe you need to get off tumblr and have a fucking brain transplant

I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.

i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.

i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.

nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.

the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.

what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.

that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.

but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.

i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.

the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.

if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.

even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.

children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.

which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.

individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.

if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.