Stark!Reader: I’m Kind Of Crushing On Someone, But I’m Worried About Telling You Who It Is, Because

Thor: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Steve?

Steve: Bruce, easily.

Bruce, laughing: What the fuck, man.

Steve: Well, Tony would be too easy. He’d probably be into it.

Tony, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

Y/N: JAMES!!!

Bucky: First name, could be fine.

Y/N: BUCHANAN!!!

Steve: Middle name, not looking so good!

Y/N: BARNES!!!

Steve: You’re in trouble.

Y/N: YOU TOO, STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!!

Bucky: *smirks*

Steve: …Shit…

Loki: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Thor: Actually, Y/N is my favorite.

Loki: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Peter: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

Y/N, to Sam: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Sam, motioning to himself and Bucky: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Y/N: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.

Peter: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.

Loki: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Peter: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

A/N-For those who don't remember which one is which, Tobey is Peter 2, Andrew is Peter 3, and Tom is Peter 1.

Peter 2: Y/N, you'll be working with Peter 3 and Peter 1.

Y/N: Alright! My fantasy threesome!

Everyone else: *blank stares*

Y/N: ...Of people on a team.

Bucky: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Sam: Not if they consent to it.

Y/N: Depends on who your stabbing.

Steve: YES??!!?

Sam: There's a spider! Quick!

Bucky: *grabbing rolled-up newspaper* Where? Where?

Sam: Right ahead of me! Get him! Get him!

Peter: Hey- What?

Sam: There it is! There it is!

Bucky: *smacks Peter*

Wanda: All in all, a 100 successful trip.

Y/N: But we lost Pietro.

Wanda: All in all, a 100 successful trip!