Loki: What’s your biggest fear?
Steve: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Stephan: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Peter: Zombies.
Steve: ...
Stephan: ...
Peter: BUT they can open doors.
Wanda: All in all, a 100 successful trip.
Y/N: But we lost Pietro.
Wanda: All in all, a 100 successful trip!
Y/N, to Sam: My life is in the hands of an idiot!
Sam, motioning to himself and Bucky: No no no no no, TWO idiots!
I was summoned?
I have been having an argument with a friend and he says that Marvel is for guys, please help me prove to him that there are lots of women who like Marvel!
Peter 1= Tom’s Peter
Peter 2= Tobey’s Peter
Peter 3= Andrew’s Peter
Peter 3: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?
Peter 1: Milfs.
Peter 2: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.
Peter 3 : Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???
Y/N: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.
Y/N: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.
Peter 2: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.
Peter 3 : WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—
Peter 3 : I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!
Y/N: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?
Peter 1: What? No! It isn't!
Y/N: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!
Peter 2: Y/N...
Y/N: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!
Peter 2: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.
Y/N: PETER 3 , DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!
Peter 3 : The word milf has been ruined for me.
Peter 1: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
Peter 2: Y'all are dumbasses.
Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Peter: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...
Bucky: I hate to to tell you this, but one of you was adopted.
Y/N & Steve:
Y/N: Was it Steve?
Bucky: HELP! I TOLD Y/N I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Steve, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
Store Worker: Would Miss Y/N L/N come to the front desk?
Y/N, arriving at the front desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: *points to Sam and Bucky*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Sam and Bucky, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Y/N: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—
Nat: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*
Wanda: Hey, Nat, how was your day?
Nat: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Wanda* Hell.
Y/N, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?
A/N- Please keep in mind, this is my first time writing a Reader Insert. So, I'm sorry in advance if this isn't that good.
Loki x Fem!Reader
F/F= Favorite Food
Imagine on the elevator, Thor talks to Loki about a girl he met while on Midgard, having no idea that girl happened to be Loki girlfriend of 6 years, you.
"I'm sorry, my lady." Thor's voice booms throughout the kitchen after having bumped into you after turning away from the fridge. You smiled softly and nodded your head in thanks. "It's no problem Thor." you said. "Would you like to have lunch with me, my lady? Everyone seems to be out of the Compound at the moment." Thor asks in a surprisingly soft voice. "Why the hell not? My name is Y/N L/N, by the way." You smiled widely. "It is nice to meet you, lady Y/N. What would you like to eat?" Thor grins, gesturing to open-planned kitchen in the Avengers Compound. "I'll just take a plate of F/F from the fridge, Thor. Thank you." You spoke before sitting at the dinning room table, as Thor plated both you and him some F/F. After heating both plates up, Thor flopped into the chair next to the one you were sitting in, after putting both plates on the table. You and Thor got to know one another as you both ate. Loki had told you about Thor and stories about when they were little, but you didn't think Thor would have such Golden Retriever energy based off of what Loki had said. You guys eventually went separate ways as Thor said he was off to the gym. You bid goodbyes as you went back to Loki's room. As you arrived at Loki's room, you could see him walking down the hall towards the Elevator. "I'm going to get a new book, my Queen." Loki spoke softly but loud enough for you to hear, without turning around, as if sensing your confusion. "Ok, I'll be in your bedroom, my King." You spoke before heading into Loki's room and closing the door.
Loki got to the elevator the same time as Thor, and coincidentally the Library and gym are one floor apart. Going the same way, down. Thor held the elevator doors open for his brother which had Loki nodding his thanks. "I met such a wonderful maiden today, brother." Thor announced as the elevator doors closed. Loki raised an eyebrow in question, which Thor noticed. "Why yes, she was the upmost kind and sweet woman I've ever met. I think you would love her. She has a mischievous side but also has a kind and caring nurture to her. I think you and her would get along great after some of the pranks she told me she's pulled on her older brother." Thor explained with a bright smile. "Who is this, you speak of Thor?" Loki questioned with genuine curiosity. "Her name was Y/N L/N. She was brilliant, she was." Thor spoke, with wild gestures of his hands, before smiling at his brother. "I think you and her would get along great." He added quickly, noticing Loki's amusement to the situation. Loki nodded with a mischievous sparkle to his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind, brother. Thank you." He spoke with a hint of a smile pulling at his lips. "No problem, brother." Thor grinned while giving Loki a pat on the back.
As Thor and Loki went their separate ways once arriving to the destined floor, Loki smiled to himself, a genuine smile, just thinking about you and thinking he's ready to tell the team about you. He knows you're the one for him. You complete him. You make him feel things he's never felt before. You are the love of his life. He doesn't know what he would do without you. You make him a better person. Loki is happy for the first time in what feels like forever because of you. He is beyond grateful he met you. He would go to the end of the Nine Realms for you. He would kill for you. He would do anything you asked of him. You have him wrapped around your finger like there is no tomorrow.
Hi! My name is Bethany, I’m 21 Years Old, and I write Marvel Quotes/One-Shots. I love you 3000
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