Peter 1= Tom’s Peter

Loki: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Thor: Actually, Y/N is my favorite.

Loki: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

Y/N, to Sam: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Sam, motioning to himself and Bucky: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Peter: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Ned: Merry crisis.

Y/N: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

MJ: Hoe hoe hoe.

Peter: Guys, please.

Peter, randomly: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

Y/N: *gasps* OH MY GOD SAME!

The Avengers, watching with concern for their youngest members:

Peter: DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS!?

Y/N: I THINK WE DID! QUICK WHO, ON THE TEAM, IS THE HOTTEST MAN THAT YOU WOULD, WITHOUT A DOUBT, LET RAIL YOU!? ON THE THE COUNT OF THREE!

Peter: One…

Y/N: Two…

Peter: THREE!

Peter and Y/N, in unison: LOKI!!!

The Avengers, gasping in shock and muttering: what the fuck!?

Loki sitting there, confused as to what the word ‘rail’ meant, but still with a smug and cocky af grin:

Peter: Do you want to go up to my room and blast ‘I’m a Gummy Bear’ just to annoy the hell out of the tower!?

Y/N, scoffing playfully: Who doesn’t!?

The Avengers, sitting around the room, watching their two youngest members run off, still in shock as well as concern:

The Avengers having realized what you guys were about to do, groaning in sync:

Loki, sitting there, thinking: What does this ‘rail’ mean?

Tony, facepalming: I don’t think we should tell you…

Loki:

Loki, arubtly standing from his place on an arm chair: Very well. I shall go use this ‘Internet’ the two younglings have taught me to use.

The Avengers sitting in comfortable silence for a moment before realizing what Loki was going to do, and shouting: LOKI! NO!!!

*Y/N is talking about their past*

Y/N: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow.

Bucky: Y/N, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years!

Steve: Oh, I'm sure it gets better!

Y/N: Ha! No, at eleven, things really took a turn for the worst.

Steve: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Thor: We were helping Y/N write their vows, but they kicked us out because Bucky was making inappropriate suggestions.

Bucky: How is “Loki, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

Bucky, after a nightmare about his time at HYDRA: How are you still holding yourself together?

Y/N: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

Peter: …Mood…

Ned: Did you bring Y/N?

Shuri, gesturing to Peter: No, but I brought the next best thing.

Ned: Peter? The next best thing would be MJ.

Peter: I would be offended, but MJ is freakishly strong.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Peter: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

Shuri: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Peter: 'Prettiest Smile'

Ned: 'Nicest Personality'

MJ: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Y/N: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'