You Know. While I Do Appreciate The Headcannon That Odysseus And Penelope Had Absolutely Sick Nasty Sex

You know. While I do appreciate the headcannon that Odysseus and Penelope had absolutely sick nasty sex as soon as he got home, my opinion is actually that they went straight to bed and slept through the night and well into the next day, getting the best sleep either of them has gotten in 20 years.

Because like. We know why Odysseus would need to rest finally after being in the Trojan war and then being hunted by gods and monsters for the next ten years.

But Penelope.

Penelope was home. Waiting, and then she was told the Trojan war is over and Odysseus should be home any day. And then months passed and then that turned to years. And now suitors are claiming her husband is dead and she needs to choose someone else. And at first they’re polite about it but then they grow increasingly…not so polite about it.

Odysseus was battling monsters, yes. But Penelope lived with them. I imagine she spent every night sleeping lightly, knife in hand and facing her bedroom door—maybe not sleeping at all. She wouldn’t be able to stop all of them but she wouldn’t go down without a fight.

And nearly ten years passes like that.

And then Odysseus finally makes it back and all the suitors are dead. Yeah, fucking him is nice but holy shit she needs to fucking sleep.

Epic AU

Odysseus: How many suitors are there? Servant: 128. Though, twenty of them formed a guard, after Antinous turned out to be a dick. Odysseus: *Thinking* Servant: Ten are away with the prince, the other ten are keeping guard over Penelope. Odysseus: Why? Servant: They're being bodyguards Odysseus: No, why did they come if they're not seeking the Queen's hand? Servant: Oh, they're trying to convince the Prince to marry their daughters. *Meanwhile* Guard #1: *Watching Telemachus with one of his friends* I'm starting to think the Prince might be swinging the other way. Guard #2: That's alright, I've got a son.

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bloobbunn1

10 months ago

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed

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bloobbunn1

1 year ago

miles twins bickering

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bloobbunn1

1 year ago

*twirling hair normally* im sooooo normal about this piece of media,,,, so soso normal,,,,, *begins whirring* sooooooooooooooooooooooo noooooooormaaaaaaaal

Tags

across the spiderverse the umbrella academy

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bloobbunn1

10 months ago

Tumblr isn't even a website to me it's like if my diary was a groupchat

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bloobbunn1

1 year ago