This Guy And His Endless Lust For Blood. I Am Obsessed With Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so fucked up that goncharov is only on poob

Struck by a realization.

Caracalla, a horribly disease ridden forceps baby, seemingly forgets his involvement with his brother’s death a matter of hours, or days, after the fact.

I see people attributing this to neurosyphilis, the psychological effects of lead poisoning, etc. Obviously. But I feel like it could also be some flavor of a trauma response. Whether he is unintentionally repressing memories of violence, or deliberately refusing to accept reality and thus losing the thread, I’m not quite sure.

Yeah, the man is obviously deeply sick. But him and Geta have also been through a history of physical abuse. A cocktail of drinking, desensitization to violence, trauma, brain damage, and psychosis all contributed.

If Caracalla was experiencing some type of severe complex trauma or delusions (or both;) it would be incredibly easy to completely discard anything that doesn’t adhere to the reality his mind had created. Especially when that reality is a place where he is correct, protected, or vindicated. Caracalla’s deep fried and shredded brain tissue would have absolutely no problem tossing out the memory of literally sawing Geta’s head off. Caracalla might have simply dismissed it as an intrusive thought he ignored, a nightmare he had. I dunno, him being conscious of the event but not recognizing it is MISERABLE!! And I am nothing if not a creator of miserable fiction.

I don’t have all of the right words here. But god. I am sick to my stomach thinking about my blorbos.

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

Okay, if you're annoyed because your friend is trying to tidy up your room in the smallest possible way, wouldn't it be enough to say "c'mon, give it a rest" and not sound that upset? But the way Felix *explodes* at Oliver here and follows up with "You're driving me ..." shows that Felix is starting to feel ... something. Oliver is not only taking control of their physical space, he's taking up too much room in Felix's head. And Felix doesn't know how to handle it. He doesn't even know that he doesn't know.

This is a lovers' quarrel. This is the scene where Felix and Oliver truly became a couple.

[image description: the bugs bunny in a tuxedo "I wish all (blank) a very pleasant (blank)" meme edited to say "I wish all of my Jewish followers a very pleasant rosh hashanah". In front of Bugs there is a jar of honey, a stack of apples and pomegranates. In front of bug's mouth there is a shofar.]

:DDDDD

ATTENTION!

FEUDALISM RESTARTING IN 10 SECONDS. CLASSES WILL BE RANDOMLY ASSIGNED

Inflamed Sense of Rejection: Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: This is that Angel Face backstory I was talking about. His name is Caleb Handover because I'm not going to call him Angel Face the whole time. There will be no "spice" because I type this on a school computer and honestly I want to expand my writing abilities. ~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a horrible way to start a journal, probably the most over-done and unintriguing sentence used to start a story, but my name is Caleb Handover. I’m 16 years old, and I live in Wilmington, Delaware. I go to Mt. Pleasant High School, class of 2001. That makes me a Junior.

It’s boring. Every single day is the same. The ducks pass over the sky when I’m walking to school, and it looked cool when I was nine, but nowadays it just feels like I’m watching someone drive to work. 

Delaware duck schedule: 6 AM, wake up to the same alarm as everyone in the neighborhood. 7 AM, fly to the pond for breakfast and a bath. Pass by that blond kid again. 

My hair was born white. People on the street asked my mom while she was pushing the stroller, why do you bleach your baby’s hair? 

She never did. 

 First period is Advanced Placement Calculus. I’m thinking about ducks. Derivatives, ducks, hyperbolas, ducks, factorials, ducks, integrals…

My mom called my hair duck-fuzz.  

I like math, but I only say that because high schoolers have to like something. If you say you don’t like any subjects in school, you sound like a wannabe-dropout loser. I’m 16 years old and taking AP Calculus. I don’t think I’m a wannabe anything, but I don’t think I’m genuine, either. I’ve already done the warmup question on the board. Find 34! It’s just a factorial. Does anyone see me?

“Caleb Handover?”

Only during attendance. 

I raise my hand until my elbow is about six inches off of my table, parallel to the smooth, fake-wood surface. Not high enough to seem like a geek, but still giving effort.  

Invisibility is a science.

“Here.” 

There’s a pause. My hand stays in the air.

“Caleb Handover?” my teacher tilts his chin up and surveys the room, his pencil hovering over my name, ready to write truant. 

“I said I’m here,” I said louder as I raised my hand higher. My pen balances between my peace-sign fingers. My teacher flicks his eyes to me, and his eyebrows soften. He adjusts his glasses. The sad taste of desperation lingered in my mouth after essentially begging to be accounted for.

“Oh, hello Caleb. Sorry I didn’t see you.” My teacher laughs dryly and clears his throat. “Serena Hofstadter?” 

She has mono. 

“Gordon Jacobs?” 

That’s how Serena got mono.

For a moment I picture Serena and Gordon as Romeo and Juliet during the final act. Gordon drinks from a tall, crystal vial of mononucleosis extract and collapses. Serena, covered head-to-toe in orange spray tan and blonde highlights underneath her Shakespearean garb, discovers him on the floor and gives a tearful soliloquy before kissing him feverishly in an attempt to drink the mono from his lips. In the end, they’re both bedridden, and everyone knows. 

In fair Delaware we lay our scene.

I don’t know why, but I’m angry at them. Serena and Gordon. My knuckles turn white as I grip my pen harder, gritting my teeth and thinking about my peers who go to parties to drink and kiss and do drugs. I didn’t even think parties were a real thing until I started listening to rich kids’ conversations. 

“I got home so late last night…” quote from the boy wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“I’m, like, so hungover.” quote from the girl wearing sunglasses indoors at 8:30 AM.

“Her house was so tacky.” quote from the girl whose locker is head-to-toe in sequins and leopard print, who uses perfume to cover the smell of anxiety pheromones. 

I’m not jealous, and I’d rather have lifelong diarrhea than be in the same boat as these kids, but it would be nice to have a life. 

It would be nice to be a part of something bigger than myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~ Author's Note: Please let me know what you think, and if I should keep writing this. It would be appreciated :)

Hey guys, I just noticed that the relationship between Felix and Oliver could be similar to the relationship between Dionysus and Satyrs in Greek mythology. Basically as Dionysus is heavily associated wine and partying in general, and is always being followed by his band of Maenads (flower hippies that are also very evil) and Satyrs which is similar to Felix as he is often described as the life of the party and is always surrounded by a group of people. Anyway, on the other hand, Satyrs are half-goat men whose actions are driven by desire, with them often being seen on vases with phallic imagery. This sort of relates to Oliver, as he is driven by his desire for Felix through most of the film.

But yeah, this probably wasn't what Fennel was going for as I know that her literary references were more modern than ancient greek mythology, but its just something funky I've noticed.