03/24/2025

Initial Greetings

This is my first time using Tumblr... I already feel pressured to write my first post in a certain way. But tbh I just wanted a space where no one really knows who I am besides the words I write.

At the moment, I see this as a place where I get inspired to study and work on my PhD stuff. Yes, I'm in a PhD program in Counseling Psychology in the US. It is a lot of hard work. It's been rough lately so I hope that this will be a place to can bring some light into my monotonous days.

Depending on how things go, maybe I'll be more active here. Who knows \\/ ^.^\//

Day 1 ~ in recovery ~

A friend came over today to talk about my feelings and maybe get some work done for myself.

It's been 2 days since I last turned on my laptop and looked at my semester to-do list. I still haven't done it yet, and I feel intimidated by the potential workload I have waiting for me once this break ends and everything should go back to "normal." Is there even going to be a "normal"? I don't know. I feel very conflicted right now, but maybe this shows that I need a reality check. To ground me, not terrify me.

Middle of Day 2

I can't believe I actually did it. I actually started working on my thesis writing in the middle of the day!

Usually, I wait until it is dark, and I use guilt to motivate me to start writing until midnight. Then, I end up feeling exhausted and groggy the next day. But it seems like that's not today. And I am grateful for myself for this =)

Day 4

On days like this, I feel like I'm stepping backward, unwinding all the hard work I've put forward in the past few days. It hasn't even been a week yet...

My dog has been whining right before I go to bed to be taken out. Having presentations and essays back-to-back for my classes. Group projects are due soon. Spring break is in a few days. My thesis work is ongoing but not where I need it to be. - Things just aren't right.

I want to feel excited again. I want to feel alive again. I want to be free.

When I got home from school today, I laid down on the couch and started reading a webnovel. I ended up napping for two hours, and then realize that I still need to make food and it'll be time for bed. But I still have my daily assignments I need to get done, and my notes, and my thesis, and... My mind is going in a spiral but my body is moving like a turtle. All I want to do is read my webnovel and escape my stressful reality at the moment.

I'm going to muster the little strength that I still have to complete the essentials for tomorrow, and then call it a night. Maybe it is a day of necessary rest today.

I like this post! It reaffirmed some things I've learned in the past =)

Two things I would modify from the first two bullet points under the first point are:

Be authentic: Don't fake it if you're feeling not OK, sad, or other negative emotions. You don't need to fully explain yourself (it's a privilege for the people who care about you and you trust). But don't hide your true self and put on a mask just because you don't want to scare people away. Life has its ups and downs. The right people for you are going to understand that we have our feelings and it's OK.

Understand what you needs and communicate your needs: I learned this from my therapy training. There are times we want to vent, to scream, to cry, to talk about our problems with someone else. If you have experienced people pulling away because you're talking about your problem or "complaining," it might not be because you shouldn't talk about your problems and just go figure it out yourself. It might be due to the people you talk to do not know what you need and they want to handle your problem based on their own way. They could also have low energy when you share with them and they do not have extra energy to share your pain. If you want to vent, ask the person you want to talk with if they have the time and energy for you to vent about what is going on. And if you cannot find someone to vent to and you know you need someone to give you a safe and non-judgmental space to talk, it is always an option to see a therapist and see if it is what you need.

Have a wonderful day, lovely humans 🩵

how to build bridges and make meaningful connections ❀•°❀

for the girlies who want more than just superficial relationships

1. be the kind of energy that people want to stay around

be light, not draining. bring warmth, humor, and softness where you can. I always try to smile at people when I talk to them or see them, and people notice how I'm happy to hang out with them. just bringing a positive energy immediately draws people towards you.

try not to complain. everybody has struggles, and while venting can feel natural, it can also quietly drain the energy from conversations and people listening. personally, I struggle with this too. but, when we constantly focus on what's wrong, we unknowingly push people away. no one wants to feel like every conversation is a weight to carry.

instead, try adding something lighter or more meaningful. instead of saying, "I'm so stressed," try "this week is super busy, but I'm making time for a break soon." it's not about pretending that life's perfect, but being mindful of the energy you bring to a space.

show up with consistency. make plans for lunch and actually show up. remember small things that they say in conversations. it's always the greatest feeling when someone remembers that I had an important performance or difficult test and then ask me about it afterwards.

2. connect through conversation

make eye contact. it's uncomfortable, I get it. but, when you look someone in the eye while they're talking to you, it makes you look 1) more engaged about what they're saying, and 2) more genuinely appreciative of their presence. practice doing it little by little every day, and soon, it will become like second-nature.

share stories, not just facts. I think that conversations come alive with small stories with details that make moments memorable. for example, instead of just saying “I had a phone as a kid because I was on the soccer team” (fact), i added layers: “I got a phone because I went to soccer matches as a kid! I was terrible at soccer, but I helped the team by tricking opponents into thinking I’d get the ball. basically, I was a glorified decoy” (story). true story, by the way.

3. acknowledge them, even if you are not actively hanging out.

greet them by name. when you see them while walking, make an effort to remember their name and say hi. I feel that greetings come off as much more genuine when I address them personally.

if you don't know their name, still make an effort to smile and wave. I would still appreciate it if someone takes the time to acknowledge me, even for a little moment, because it shows that they care.

4. embrace compliments and connection

take compliments. I'll be the first to admit, I struggle with this too. but, isn't it a bit awkward when you give someone a compliment and they instantly deflect it with "oh but I look so ugly today like my hair is whack and my eyeliner is uneven" (calling myself out...)? instead, I think it's best to thank them genuinely for noticing you, even if you don't fully agree with their compliment. receive it with gratitude, not self-criticism. it's not about actually being perfect, but appreciating the kindness behind their words.

compliment them back, and be observant about it. you could just say, "you look amazing too" (though that's still nice). but, the next step could be noticing something specific, like their earrings or the way they carry themselves. or, share what you actually admire about them, like their kindness or determination. it's about making your compliment feel personal and thoughtful.

if you admire someone, tell them. it only sounds fake if you make it fake.

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remember, real connections are built on authenticity and kindness. it's not about being perfect. it's about being genuine, showing up, and appreciating the people around you. now, you just have a few more tools on how to make these connections and be the friend that you would appreciate in your own life.

thank you for reading all the way through as always. wishing everybody all the good things in the world and a blessed rest of your day <3

sending lots of love, q's playlist

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I don't know what it is. But I'm getting sick and tired of complaining. If you do that, that's fine; just don't tell me unless I am mentally relaxed or I ask you how you're doing. No offense to people who use venting to express their emotions in a healthy and productive way (I mean, I do that occasionally too). I just can't take it when I'm also getting stressed out and overwhelmed. It's more from childhood socialization so I am actively keeping myself in check for not judging over talking down on people who do that.

I think these two quotes just summarize why I need my peace. I find myself more tolerable to stress and the load of work I need to do in my life when I acknowledge that it sucks and move on. It is what it is!! And all I can do is do my part, try my best, and live another day 🩵

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

Not feeling that great physically today and ran late to my first meeting...

Adding another Pinterest collage to my collection to help me refocus and keep moving at my own pace =)

Some laughs for today 😂

Types of study break (tag yourself!):

The Productive One: refilling a drink, crossing a task off your to do list, the comfort of knowing that you're exactly on track.

The I-can't-fucking-take-this-any-longer: flinging yourself dramatically onto the couch or bed because this subject is turning your brain into mulch. snacking on something unhealthy but so delicious. texting friends who are suffering alongside you just to cry or scream together.

The "Just five more minutes" : Scrolling through tumblr or instagram. trying to pull your thoughts together on a bad day. convincing yourself that viewing motivational posts online is almost the same as actually doing that homework, really!

The Leg Cramp: No idea how long you've been sitting motionless but you gotta MOVE. Dancing badly and singing along to your favourite song. The joy of realising you've accomplished more than you hoped.

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

Found this on Pinterest to remind me that:

Consistency > Overthinking

Even if I am writing my papers 1 hour a day, I am going to get them done instead of continuously overthinking and avoiding my work, which produces zero results. Not that I have to work without breaks and rest. I just need to start somewhere, anywhere.

Everything will work out eventually 🩵