realizing life is a constant progress to be the version of me I choose to begrowthblr | phd | psychology | โ | overthinker
79 posts
Good morning ๐ I tried a new routine today and I love how I feel right now! Well, I didn't really change that much of my morning routine. I just decided to not cook and eat breakfast for an hour before I wrapped up my thesis work, which, to be honest, was motivating because I am starving right now and I finished revising my paragraphs in 1 hour (right?!!). I think I just saw that it was almost 1pm by the time I was able to cook breakfast, and I didn't want to drag on my day, feeling like I have my thesis dangling in front of me. So it was a BIG WIN!!! (if you haven't followed my progress so far, thesis tasks are the ones I procrastinate with the most lol)
Mood right now:
โ Yoga โ Walk my dog โ Thesis revise paragraphs (guess I ate the frog this morning hehe) โ Breakfast โ Case study paper: do research (1 hour) โ Case study paper: writing (3 hours lol) โ Video review paper: read instructions โ Dinner โ Watch Love and Leashes (it's so good and very consensual!!)
โน๏ธ Shower (another reward!! most likely going to do this after the movie~)
SO PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY!!!
Coming back to my studyblr after a few days of MIA =) Even though I haven't been logging my progress, I have actually been working hard! I think it's just that when I do work at school, I don't think about tracking, and it actually saves me time because I have Notion and an Excel sheet to track my progress anyway. I'm so ready to finish everything by 5/1 (next Wednesday) and wrap up the semester!!!
Today's mood:
โ Yoga โ Walk my dog โ Breakfast โ Read To Love Your Enemy โ Thesis bullet points (3 hours!) โ Play A Little To The Left (?) โ Dinner โ Read more manga (hehe) โ Case study paper (1 hour)
โน๏ธ Video review paper โน๏ธ Thesis revise paragraphs โน๏ธ Shower
[End of study: 12:04am] Not too bad! I actually read my manhwa for 3 hours before I started anything lol. I feel like using a visual timer has been helpful to not rush myself to finish things at a certain time, but instead just know how long I need to do a task. Glad the day didn't turn out too bad. Good night ๐ฉต
I was gone for 4 days straight cause I was out of town to celebrate a birthday. I actually did a lot of work on my clinic report during these 4 days and now I'm mostly exhausted and trying to finish everything left of the semester.
I still plan to be here and track my progress, I think I just need some time to adjust to my regular schedule again so I am not burning myself out even more.
Miss y'all ๐ฉต
Another day, another log โจ It actually feels nice to have this check-in every day to see how I'm doing mentally and academically. Still not sleeping a lot this week because I call this month the "finals month" of PhD... Have a lot to finish, still have new tasks that get added each week, and I'm not even sure how many full days I have to take a break from it all after this month and in summer =/ Not the best situation, but at least I still get to do some things I like in the meantime ๐ฉต
Current mindset:
โ School โ Case presentation (woohoo!) โ Part-time job โ See clients โ Get an oil change for my car! โ Get gas for weekend traveling โ Phone call with partner โ Client plan โ Phone call with a friend โ Watch Everyone Loves Me โ Dinner โ Clinic notes x2
โน๏ธ Clinic report - results 6 part 2 โน๏ธ Clinic report - results 7 โน๏ธ Clinic report - results 8 or Thesis - bullet points โน๏ธ Shower?
[End of study: 12:18am] I got frustrated with the cdrama so I ended up skipping through some episodes and stopped doing work for a bit... Ngl I'm getting tired so I think I'm gonna speed through one more episode and call it a night. Good night, lovely humans ๐ฅฑ
Today, I think I tapped into hyperfocus mode because (1) I only slept for 4 hours, and this is what happens sometimes when I'm sleep-deprived, and (2) my period just started, so I'm getting some energy back? I still need more evidence to support this claim haha.
I am very grateful today because even though my follow-up appointment with my doctor was basically unnecessary (I think she Googled my diagnosis and gave me recommendations from online...), I had an overall good day. I was on time for my 9am class (after a few weeks of being late). I attended all my classes. I got food for this week. I tried to get my oil changed, but the shop was busy, and somehow the staff miraculously offered to change my oil for free because they overestimated their workflow (thank you, Universe!!!). I ended up going to do my car inspection today, which worked out. And I was on the phone with my partner for a couple hours while he shopped, and somehow I felt included and valued. It feels good to be loved and supported by the people around me and the Universe ๐ฉต
โ School โ Doctor's appointment โ Part-time job (didn't do my full shift today so I'll have to work more hours tmr...) โ Car inspection โ Renew car registration โ Phone call with partner โ Case presentation - part 2 (1.5 hours) โ Walk my dog โ Dinner โ Watch Everyone Loves Me โ Case presentation - final (0.5 hours) โ Clinic report - result 3 (0.5 hours) โ Clinic report - result 4 (0.25 hours) โ Clinic report - result 5 (0.25 hours) โ Sleep by 12:30am?
I switched out a task and finished 2 small ones instead! ๐
[End of study: 12:25am] So ready for bed ๐ด Can't wait to get my beauty sleep tonight because I so so deserve it ๐ฉต
Does anyone else use Notion to take notes and stay organized?
I thought I'd list a few tips of making Notion more fun to use as you study/journal! And perhaps some of it is already SUPER obvious so I'm sorry if this list ends up being useless๐ฅน๐.
I'll be using a mock-garden journal template to point out the tips!
Add emojis to everything! It can honestly make it more fun to look at, even the calendar above looks cuter (double click to zoom in)!
But if that is a little overwhelming, but you still want to use emojis in a โquaintโ way, you can make your database title a series of emojis. Like below!
I clicked the three dots, then clicked โedit database title.โ I chose three tulips just to keep it on my garden-theme. So cute!ย ๐ท๐ท๐ท
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Maybe you already new this but I struggled to figure this out at some point lol! At the very bottom of a table right after the "+ New page" row, if you hover you'll see the "calculate" row.
When you want to add/average/whatever just click the "More options"! Yay, math!
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This one is super simple. I find that sometimes a solid cover for gallery pages is really nice to look at.
So Iโm prone to typing specific shades Iโm looking for into the Unsplash menu:
What I do is, I click a page, go to 'change cover' and choose Unspalsh. Then type in something like โpastel greenโ or โbaby pinkโ. If the options arenโt enough, you can go directly to unsplash.com and find a free one! Example below of lovely solid colors!
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You can easily change card size to a just the aesthetic of your galleries ! Go to the little three dots at the top of your gallery (shown above), click layout, then card size! Now you can choose between S, M, L!
Bonus tip: if you go to โcard preview,โ' still under layout, you can choose what will be displayed on the front of your cards.
In the above example, I chose โpage contentโ 'cuz all the bullet points and todo lists looked so neat! Hehe! But you can choose 'page cover' if you have a fun image/color.
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Ands thatโs all my loves! Let me know what you think in the comments! <3
If you like the look of these template snapshots and you coincidentally need to organize your garden project or any other project that fits the vibe (hehe), you can get it for free! I'll pop the link to it in the comments!
I hope this is helpful-ish!
HUGS!
Anastasia
A new day, a new plan. Trying to stay optimistic and ground myself with inner peace today. I'm not sure what will happen in the future, so all I can do is to take one step at a time and focus on today =)
โ Walk my dog โ Yoga โ Breakfast โ Inspirational videos (they're helpful to give me hope and motivation ๐) โ Pay bills โ Thesis: revise 1 section (took me 3 hours in total to add citations and draft an email to my advisor lol; but it's DONE!) โ Group project 2: find presentation slide template โ Therapy โ Dinner โ Play Xbox with partner โ Case presentation: background information โ Shower (gonna go shower now~)
โน๏ธ Clinic report results 3 โน๏ธ Clinic report results 4
I have quite a bit to finish today, but I am hopeful. At least there are also some things to look forward to ๐
[End of day: 12:26am] Basically finished around 11:45 but I didn't want to stop watching drama trailers to find my new show lol. Then my internet decided to give me issues so now I will go shower and call it a night ๐ฅฑ
Some study motivation before I start my day ๐ฉต
Tapped out the past 2 days because depression is hitting me and I think I'm having pms. It feels really difficult to do anything when the end of the semester hits. Like there are so many tasks and assignments I need to get done, and I don't even have more time to do all of them. Ugh... why is life hard sometimes? Thankfully, I pushed myself to reach out to my friends and partner. I feel better today =)
Not sure if this happens to people or not, but I find myself starting something that gives me instant dopamine when I'm the most stressed/overwhelmed. Like this Friday, I told myself I needed a day to relax, and I ended up starting this 24-episode cdrama and y'all I'm on the last episode today... I'm so committed when the thing makes me happy and gets me hooked.
Anyway, I hope to continue updating my progress so I don't just give up. Thanks for giving me a space to feel supported and safe (even in the not-so-great times) ๐ฉต
โ Walk my dog โ Yoga (Haven't done it since the accident and it actually felt nice) โ Breakfast โ Watch Perfect and Casual (Such a simple and cute contract to love story! Definitely a rewatch when I need something wholesome and heartwarming๐) โ Clinic notes x4 โ Discussion post
โน๏ธ Thesis: revise section paragraphs โน๏ธ Clinic report results x2 (hopefully I can get through more if I have the energy)
Let's trust that I will get through another day feeling at peace, relieved, and proud of myself ๐ฉต
[End of day: 12:30am] I basically lost motivation after reviewing my advisor's feedback on my latest thesis draft... He wants me to revise my writing and add more details and find more updated citations. I feel like I just want to pull my hair out. I don't know how I'm going to do this, and I'm already exhausted at this point. I feel like giving up because this thesis seems never-ending... I wish I could just escape into the drama world and call it a day.
Quick update before I crash... I slept at 3:30am yesterday cause I started binge-reading the latest chapters of Ex-Love Review. It's sooooo gooood. So it's now 2am and I just finished filing my taxes ๐
โ Shower! โ See clients โ Advisory meeting โ A long walk with my dog ๐ โ Play A Little to the Left โ Light dinner โ FILE TAXES (Yes I finally did it and ahead of the deadline too!!)
โน๏ธ Clinic notes x4 โน๏ธ Clinic report results x1 โน๏ธ Thesis writing (I probably should start this again before I get too busy over the weekend...)
I cannot physically keep my eyes open. Ok, good night ๐ด
Started reading this Webtoon called "Ex-Love Review" and I couldn't stop until I can find the latest chapters. So I'm just gonna finish one task and head to bed...
โ School โ Part-time job โ Phone call with partner โ Quiz โ Dinner โ Read Ex-Love Review โ Clinic report results x2 (finished in 30 mins?? Amazing!!)
โน๏ธ Shower (I'm gonna shower in the morning, I promise ๐ค๐ป)
[End of day: 1:05am] Got more done than I expected, but I definitely neglected some things ๐ I think I'm starting to burn out, which is why I started reading on Webtoon to get a dopamine hit. Need to figure out how I can better rest and do schoolwork at the same time... Good night ๐ฉต
Starting my studying at home at 10:32pm... It's ok, I'm just going to do my best until I let myself start getting ready to go to bed in an hour. I will need the sleep, and I cannot wait to rest because I have worked hard lately =)
โ School โ Staff meeting (1.5 hours...) โ Part-time job โ Nap (2 hours ๐ฎโ๐จ) โ Dinner/snack โ Clinic document (so proud! I've been procrastinating on this since Feb lol)
โน๏ธ Clinic report results 1 โน๏ธ Clinic report results 2 โน๏ธ Shower (I'll consider this in the morning ๐ )
Kinda still feeling frustrated that my professor docked points because I have been getting to class late, but I literally have accommodations for that. I hope it's just that he forgot. I'll need to talk to him about it, and I'm not enthusiastic about it...
[End of study: 12:08am] Ok, I'm calling it a day because I don't want to push my sleep back any further. Good night, lovely humans ๐ฉต
I don't know what it is. But I'm getting sick and tired of complaining. If you do that, that's fine; just don't tell me unless I am mentally relaxed or I ask you how you're doing. No offense to people who use venting to express their emotions in a healthy and productive way (I mean, I do that occasionally too). I just can't take it when I'm also getting stressed out and overwhelmed. It's more from childhood socialization so I am actively keeping myself in check for not judging over talking down on people who do that.
I think these two quotes just summarize why I need my peace. I find myself more tolerable to stress and the load of work I need to do in my life when I acknowledge that it sucks and move on. It is what it is!! And all I can do is do my part, try my best, and live another day ๐ฉต
Some laughs for today ๐
The Productive One: refilling a drink, crossing a task off your to do list, the comfort of knowing that you're exactly on track.
The I-can't-fucking-take-this-any-longer: flinging yourself dramatically onto the couch or bed because this subject is turning your brain into mulch. snacking on something unhealthy but so delicious. texting friends who are suffering alongside you just to cry or scream together.
The "Just five more minutes" : Scrolling through tumblr or instagram. trying to pull your thoughts together on a bad day. convincing yourself that viewing motivational posts online is almost the same as actually doing that homework, really!
The Leg Cramp: No idea how long you've been sitting motionless but you gotta MOVE. Dancing badly and singing along to your favourite song. The joy of realising you've accomplished more than you hoped.
OK, I feel well-rested today, and I am still proud of myself for deciding not to go to the workshop yesterday because my friends are all complaining about how they are exhausted and annoyed. Their emotions are getting to me, so I'm dipping out for the sake of my peace ๐
I'm actually starting my study day early today, so let's see how it goes~
โ Breakfast โ Listen to chill podcast โ Revise thesis paragraphs (2 hours) โ Play A Little to the Left ๐บ โ Phone call with partner โ Therapy โ Watch anime โ Check and reply to school emails โ Fill out surveys (got a gift card!) โ Play Xbox with partner โ Clinic report formatting... (30 minutes)
โน๏ธ File taxes โน๏ธ Clinical document x1 โน๏ธ Clinic report results x1
I started off strong with my thesis, and woohoo! I worked on it for 2 full hours today so I can send my new draft to my advisor, and I'm just so proud of myself rn. I kinda took the rest of the day a little too chill, I guess lol. I can definitely tell how much I do not want to do my taxes, even tho I've done it before and I know it is really not that hard. I also ended up playing Xbox longer than expected so I didn't have too much time to finish the rest of the tasks.
End of Day: 12:28am - we'll try again tomorrow ๐ฉต
Ngl manifestation and vision boards are real. I feel more content and at peace these days because I fill my days up with hope and compassion. I know that not having a great day one day is not going to completely destroy my progress. All I have to do is stand up and start walking again when I am ready ๐ฉต
I just realized I reblogged my post yesterday to my own account lmao... Still nice to have tracked my study progress nonetheless!
I decided to not go to the workshop today. I just can't. Everyone was complaining about it and I just feel like I need to stay away from it for myself. Like, why stay here and complain all day when you can either accept it for what it is or leave entirely. Sorry, just my brain trying to problem solve for others. My family has always looked down on complaining, so I guess I don't do much of that unless I know I need to vent (probably like now lol).
Anyway, a good time to start getting some work done and taking it easy for the day =)
โ Breakfast โ Watch Kaichou wa Maid-Sama! โ Wash dishes (been slacking off on this hehe) โ Shower!! โ Check and reply to emails โ Register for Fall classes โ๐ป โ Discussion post โ Update report writing timeline and email my professor โ Create bullet points for thesis โ Dinner โ Watch cdrama shorts
โน๏ธ Revise thesis writing โน๏ธ File taxes โน๏ธ [maybe] Clinic document
Not the most productive day for me, but I think I have been building the consistency I have wanted since the beginning of the year. I am now telling myself that I can be proud of my achievements and hard work even when I do not finish 100% of the tasks. There are different interruptions in life, and we can't control them all. So I choose to be grateful and content when I have tried my best. Let's do this again tmr ๐ฉต
Ngl I always felt like I was behind when I couldn't work on the same schedule as others or I would take longer to complete certain tasks. So many times I've beaten myself up internally for not being as efficient, as confident, as hardworking as other people. But now is the time to remind myself that this is not the case. I work hard. I do enough. I am confident. Just in my own way. And being neurodivergent doesn't make me a failure in life.
Even if it takes me longer to do one thing, doesn't mean I am any less than the others. I just am. I'm just me, living myself at the pace I choose ๐ฉต
Another day, another progress post ๐ฉต
I just want a freaking free day!!! ๐ค Do you ever get so tired of studying and school that you don't know how you're going to last another 30 days?? That's why I am right now. I can't. I just can't right now.
I so want to just say f it and go take a break for a day, but I also feel like I can't. I also don't work like most people, and nighttime is my friend. But then, I can't even enjoy a relaxing night because I need to do work... Make it make sense. Why do I feel punished in society simply by being a night owl? That's not fair.
Grievances aside, only 1 more day of this workshop, and I seriously still don't know how much I'm learning. I'm not sure if this will feel worth it in the end. Maybe I need to reevaluate tomorrow morning before I decide to go.
Me feeling angry (also exhausted and frustrated) at the whole world rn:
โ Full-day workshop โ Check and respond to emails โ Clinic note revision โ Grocery shopping โ Phone call with partner โ Dinner and snacks โ Watch Me Before You (I cried my eyes out for this ๐ญ) โ Phone call with parents โ Clinic notes x4 โ Add article summaries to class notes โ Read research articles for thesis (30 minutes - that's all the energy I have for today) โ Shower (finally!!!)
I cut out some original plans cause I overestimated how much energy I had lol. Full-day workshop is a energy-drainer... Time for bed ๐ด
I just want a freaking free day!!! ๐ค Do you ever get so tired of studying and school that you don't know how you're going to last another 30 days?? That's why I am right now. I can't. I just can't right now.
I so want to just say f it and go take a break for a day, but I also feel like I can't. I also don't work like most people, and nighttime is my friend. But then, I can't even enjoy a relaxing night because I need to do work... Make it make sense. Why do I feel punished in society simply by being a night owl? That's not fair.
Grievances aside, only 1 more day of this workshop, and I seriously still don't know how much I'm learning. I'm not sure if this will feel worth it in the end. Maybe I need to reevaluate tomorrow morning before I decide to go.
Me feeling angry (also exhausted and frustrated) at the whole world rn:
โ Full-day workshop โ Check and respond to emails โ Clinic note revision โ Grocery shopping โ Phone call with partner โ Dinner and snacks โ Watch Me Before You (I cried my eyes out for this ๐ญ) โ Phone call with parents โ Clinic notes x4 โ Add article summaries to class notes โ Read research articles for thesis (30 minutes - that's all the energy I have for today) โ Shower (finally!!!)
I cut out some original plans cause I overestimated how much energy I had lol. Full-day workshop is a energy-drainer... Time for bed ๐ด
Saw this and had to share!! The 4th one got me staring at it for idk how long cause it gives me all the feels lol
Studio Ghibli Appreciation Post
Had a full-day of workshop and I still have a few more to go... The day hasn't been that bad. Not until I realized how much I got charged for a recent imaging I had to do for my accident ๐ They say US health insurance sucks, and I cannot agree more. I'm trying to stay positive and keep faith in the Universe, but it's hard when things like this happen. I don't know what more I can do. I don't know how I'm supposed to let go and surrender.
โ Workshop โ Hangout with my friend โ Dinner โ Thesis work (30 minutes) โ Phone call with partner
โน๏ธ Shower before bed
Decided to take it chill today. And truly, I keep reminding myself that I deserve it. Yes, I can study more, always. But do I want to not let myself take a break and rest after finishing 2 group projects? No. I need to take care of myself and relax before I can keep going, especially since the semester ends in a month and not a week.
Me seriously needing a facial and massage to take off some stress:
โ School
โ See clients
โ Part-time job
โ Nap
โ Dinner
โ Play A Little to the Left
โ Check and reply to school emails
โ Go to bed before 12am (finally!!)
Hope you are giving yourself permission to rest as well ๐ฉต
Today is one of those days when I woke up feeling weird, sat with that discomfort, and things turned out quite ok. Not feeling my best, but got some good news, and the day got better =)
Hope you are somewhere in the world having a great day ๐ฉต
โ School โ Part-time job โ See clients โ Research meeting โ Phone call with partner โ Dinner โ Group project 2 paper โ Check and reply to school emails โ Partial clinic notes (I'll finish the rest tmr ๐ด)
[Ended at 12:35am] Wrapping up earlier today and I know I deserve it. Been working hard all week and I can finally chill a little (before I have full weekend of training lol) Did my best today and I think maybe doing the bare minimum wouldn't hurt me once in a while. Good night ๐ฉต
Today, I witnessed my growth. The same things no longer trigger the same reaction as I have learned to take a deep breath and trust in the process. I feel more in tune with myself, even though I did not get enough sleep the night before and the school day was long. Today feels like something finally shifted to the right direction, and I can hear my inner guidance clearly again. Today has been great so far =)
I think this is mostly thanks to my oracle card telling me to take "a day of silence." I haven't been alone with myself without music for a long time. I used to have evenings after work when I would unwind with chores and give myself time to process and express my inner thoughts. But grad school and living situations made it difficult. I didn't know how out of tune I have been with myself until I finally turned my thoughts and attention inwards today. It has been a wonderful experience so far. Awkward but meaningful.
โ Group project 1 presentation ๐
โ School
โ Part-time job
โ Watch Kaichou wa Maid-Sama!
โ Break time + nap
โ Call my parents
โ Dinner
โ Watch Earl and Fairy
โ Read and reply to school emails
โ Group project 2 paper (1.5 hours)
Finished but I'm not too satisfied because I didn't get to finish more of the project paper than I had wanted. Guess it'll just need to happen tomorrow.
Trying to take it easy and not be so hard on myself today ๐ฉต
I've been keeping this in my inventory for a while, but today felt like the right time to add this to my collection ๐ฉต I feel like I learned it when I saw this 2 weeks ago, but today I understood it. I have been hustling and bustling all my life, and I don't always take the time to care for myself and slow down. Today, I did. It felt so nice being able to walk home before the sun set, to play a quick game online before easing into a delicious nap on the couch with my dog.
It is so nice to be able to breathe again. To feel whole, to feel loved, to feel held.
So... apparently, I got a couple of nondisplaced rib fractures from the accident. I told people, and they didn't believe me. But my body knows. She knows what's up.
โ Breakfast
โ Listen to Jay Shetty's podcast with Benny Blanco
โ Check and reply to school emails
โ Follow up with medical stuff
โ Call insurance
โ Meet with group member for project 1
โ Therapy
โ Watch Kaichou wa Maid-Sama!
โ Group project 1 paper (5 hours? too long to count...)
โ Group project 1 presentation slides
โ Group project 1 handout
โ Group project 1 exam questions
DONE!
Song I ended on ๐ง: Out of My Mind - NOEL (I literally heard the song saying "I think I'm losing it" as I closed out my last assignment ๐)
[Ended at 2:35am] My group project has so many parts that I cannot believe I just finished all of these tasks ๐ญ My teammate was goat. She stayed awake working with me the whole night. Now I just need to take a shower and let my body relax cause I'm in pain...
Took me a while to get back in my groove, but I am grateful for this journey with supportive people so far ๐ฉต