MELINA RAMBLING ABOUT SCIENCE SHIT AND ALEXEI SMILING AND SAYING "THAT'S COLD, SO COLD!" AND THEN "NO,

Three Thousand and one (Endgame spoilers)

Morgan Stark could have anything in the world she wanted. The daughter of a superhero, the child of the Avengers. Heir of a legacy started with her grandfather and kept burning brightly with her father. She had all the money she needed. She never needed to fear hunger, or hurt, or lack of anything. She had a family of superpowered people surrounding her, protecting her, playing with her.

Morgan Stark could have anything in the world she wanted but the one thing she wanted the most.

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So talking with @rescueironman​, @jess-b-thot​, and @kayytx​, we’re beginning to think Steve’s reaction to “Scott’s” message (”Is this an old message?”) is a misdirect. It’s tricky trailer editing.

It’s Steve reacting to a distress call from The Benatar. 

In the Infinity War prelude novel, Infinity War: The Heroes’ Journey, it’s stated that Tony launched “thousands of nano-satellites in all directions, which will travel hundreds of thousands of miles through space and deploy sensor arrays.”

Tony’s been obviously recording messages from the spaceship (probably not just the one to Pepper, but others, perhaps a distress signal); it’s possible one of them got picked up by one of his nano-satellites and gets the signal back to Earth.

Set photos seem to hint Scott doesn’t arrive until some time has passed (and this was hinted with Janet warning Scott about the “time vortex”), so it doesn’t make much sense for him to reunite with the group when Natasha still has blonde hair (very recently post-IW). 

This also fits why Natasha and Steve suit up, talk about a plan that needs to “work,” and then also locks in with what the Omaze winner reported from set (Nat, Steve, Carol, Rocket, and Pepper all meet up with Tony and Nebula on a “spaceship”). So it’s possible Carol gets to Tony and Nebula first OR Carol meets up with Natasha and Steve prior to the rescue mission (and Carol is the one Natasha is filling in during the trailer when she summarizes the events of what happened because note she’s in the Compound and still has blonde hair).

Steve and Nat launch a rescue mission because they find out Tony’s still alive and in trouble.

it must be really weird for anyone who was taught by dumbledore and mcgonagall and the rest to become teachers and have to, like, treat them as colleagues

like, snape and lupin have one (1) thing in common and it’s a pathological inability to call dumbledore by his first name

We’ve got quite a team now. Let’s GO!

(P.S. I have 0 idea of the validity of these. I’ve simply gathered the ones floating around. I’m going to pretend they’re all real.)

what’s funnier, albus dumbledore swearing his way through every great hall speech, or albus dumbledore legally not being allowed to say fuck

Upon learning of the chaotic vodka family, the rest of the Avengers would full heartedly believe that Natasha houses the one brain cell. How could she not? She’s Natasha.

To the surprise of all, Melina is the one who houses the brain cell in this family of chaos.

every episode of criminal minds

lady: walking down dark alley slowly and alone (everything a woman would never do)

white guy in hoodie: hey

lady: AHH

white guy in hoodie: u look like my mom *stabs her* *takes her toes*

—

emily: and then i got drunk and slammed that bitch’s head into the bar counter

derek: haha thats great-

jj: its a bad one *hands out files*

emily: let me eat you out

(in the conference room)

jj: so yeah this guy stabs ladies. but now, he takes their toes

spencer: hes escalating

hotch: 😡😡😡 wheels up in 30

(zoom in on the plane)

jj: if when you do, but i cannot for the yes of he was what i no 💖 -lil huddy

(in the plane)

emily: sexual sadist

spencer: the history of toes is actually a long starting with the ancient indians they used to-

derek: dont make me put ur head through the plane window pretty boy. although i know you would love that

spencer: 😳😑

garcia on the phone: okay so i made a list of all the white guys in arizona.

derek: i want to taste ur guts

garcia: impale me with ur cock

hotch: thanks garcia 😡😡😡

—

detective alzhiemers: we spoke on the phone and i invited u here but i just want u to know i dont trust a single fucking thing you say. wow agent jareau u got that barbie doll build.

hotch: 😡 where can we set up

(at the crime scene)

rossi: 👁👄👁 he took their toes. but u can see the bone here.

(camera zooms in on derek)

derek: *takes off his sunglasses* *flexes* hes devolving

(at the m.e)

doctor dr. : so basically he kills them. u can see because theyre dead. he takes their toes but its sloppy.

emily: he must be doing it because he doesnt have any toes.

reid: *calling garcia* we need a list

(music escalates)

—

spencer: yeah so basically hes white and a sexual sadist

hotch: mid 30s, his mother didnt love him

emily: HES IMPOTENT because his girlfriend cut off his balls

derek: and he does not have toes. we gotta catch him fast. *picks up a call from garcia*

jj: i will be telling the press so we can get calls about men without toes.

garcia: hey my 12 inch bad dragon dick. i found him- Ben Serialkiller, 54 creep lane. born without toes, his mom kicked him out when he was 5.

derek: thanks babygirl. remind me to kiss ur feet tonight.

rossi: god am i old enough to die

detective alzheimers: actually i think youre completely wrong.

emily: we dont fucking care shut up limpdick

other cops: okay we believe you now

—

(in a dark basement)

spencer: Ben, i get it. u dont have to kill these women. *puts the gun down and takes off kevlar for no fucking reason* my mom tried to kill me too. but im not a serial killer.

white guy in hoodie: you dont get it.

rossi: you dont want to kill her. we can let the world know of your struggle, ben. we will teach them of a world with men without toes.

white guy in hoodie: okay i guess. *lets go of lady* *cries*

hotch: 😡😡😡 *cuffs him*

—

morgan, on the jet: u did good today, kid.

reid: thanks. i wonder what my life would be like if i didnt have 3 lifetimes of trauma on my 27 year old back.

morgan: hahaha

emily, joining in: hahahaha. loser

hotch: 😡😡😡 i wish i had emotions

jj: i miss my kids

emily: can we fuck yet

jj: fine i guess

(picture of the sky)

rossi: And in the end, if I eated soap, no I didnt because I yes ✨ -hitler

Born too late to explore the world, born too early to explore the universe...

Born just in time to experience whatever the literal FUCK is going on right now.