"relax," Nolan Chuckled, "no One Thinks You're An Asshole." Her Dreamy Gaze And Pale Face Had

while thea made a good point, nolan would not allow the message to sink in. he would much rather sacrifice his comfort and suffer through an evening of wearing something he didn't like for the sake of looking the part than than sport something out of season.

noting her impatience, however, nolan shrugged and said, "fine, but the next time they tell me i'm underdressed at the yacht club, it's gonna be your problem." not that he expected the subject to ever be brought up to him since (as mentioned) he enjoyed dressing up. if ever though, he would actually find a way to pin the blame on someone else. typical nolan. speaking in half-truths.

as the two walked out of the boutique, nolan stuck his hands in his pockets. "so you haven't mentioned working on anything. i was sorta hoping there'd be something for us to jump into," he admitted. since he was trying to keep a low profile, nolan was keeping away from new york and california, but he missed the stage.

Most girls loved shopping. Thea was not most girls and she did not much care for polo shirts either. "If you hate them so much, why does it matter if it's the color or the presence of buttons? Put the damn things down so we can get out of here before we end up old and gray." Privately, Thea did think the colors were perfectly hideous as well. Even if it wasn't a fabric issue, Thea would never let someone walk around in something that color. Not even her worst enemy would deserve such a fate.

it was true, nolan was aimless. palmview did something to him. it was almost as if he’d reverted back to teenage-hood whenever he got back home. not in every way, but in some sense. maybe it was the lack of work or the wanting to fit in, but feeling unknown to himself. whatever it was, it sent him on a walk, which often led to wandering around town for hours. today, however, he gained some direction when he saw a familiar face, only realizing he was in the market when she spoke to him. “i actually want to know nothing at all,” he replied with a wry grin, weighing whether or not he was speaking truthfully to himself as he took a seat next to her. “by all means, though, tell me what’s in there.” he nodded towards the smoothie, his smile still soft, now with curiosity. he allowed himself the comfort of being in the presence of someone who wasn’t his mother.

Where&When: the green spot // 6pm on Monday Starter for: @bnolan

This week had been hard and it had barely started. All she wanted to do was enjoy her green smoothie and cross items off of her grocery list but as usual, she had been bombarded with people that just wouldn't leave her alone. It was something she'd normally be cool with and readily accept/enthusiastically greet people but today had been a combination of a hard day at work and overwhelming attention.

She decided to sit down on a bench to catch her breath before seeing Nolan walking in her direction. "Please tell me you want to know what's in my smoothie and nothing else." She speaks with a bit of an exasperation in her voice.

without any hesitation, nolan reaches for the shot. they thank adrian, giving him a mischievous look before they down it, this time not even bothering to clink the small glass with other's. the spirit lifts him up, makes him stand up straighter as a small shiver goes down his spine. already he feels it working with the previous one to loosen him up. despite the muscles packed on him, nolan is a bit of a lightweight since he doesn't drink often. though lately, he's been indulging more and more. for a moment, he considers if maybe adrian has used substances as a way to blur out reality in the same way nolan has been since coming home. it almost makes him laugh. what does adrian need to run away from? his life is perfect.

taking a quick look around, nolan doesn't see anyone who catches his eye so he turns his attention back to his company. without rhodes around, nolan isn't really sure how to engage with adrian, so he has to resort to small talk. "so.. how are things? saw you swiping earlier. have you met anyone out here yet that you think will be able to tame the beast?" even as he speaks, nolan can hear how cringey the last of his words are but the vodka has already soothed his nerves enough for him not to care too much.

he's perched on nolan's couch, swiping through tinder like he swipes through insta stories -- barely paying attention. every time 'it's a match!' appears on his screen, he copy pastes and sends the exact same message: you're too fucking cute. going out tonight?

nolan's voice eventually pulls him out of his trance; a slow grin spreads over his features, visibly buzzed from pregaming at the yacht club since 2 pm. "aww, just tell me you missed me." adrian sure did; he enjoys their occasional hangouts, might even give him the drunk, sappy 'i love you, man' speech in the bathrooms of whatever establishment they end up at.

"to boy's night." he smirks, holding up the mini bottle of grey goose (or what's left of it anyway, because nolan sure took his sweet time).

--

they go to adrian's favorite club; he's chummy with the bouncer who lets them straight in, the dirty looks from the rest of the line only fueling his power trip. inside, he orders three shots, downs one by himself before bringing the other two back to nolan, "you've got some catching up to do."

just as nolan was about to ask about any potential allergies, liv made it clear that she didn't have any. endless possibilities. they lightly tapped their index finger against their lip. he wasn't much of a sweets guy and he didn't exactly know her well enough to know her taste; the combination made it difficult to be confident in his decision. still, he liked the promise of being treated to something, so he wasn't going to back pass the opportunity. "go with..." he dragged out the last syllable as his eyes scanned the selection of pastries, "the lemon poppy muffin, it'll go good with the london fog." though he said it with assurance, noaln wasn't exactly sure if it really would make a good pair. comfortable with making orders, he added, "which also happens to be what i want. iced."

OPEN TO ALL

LOCATION: sunshine bakery

“Okay so here’s the deal,” Alivia prompted, turning from the display case to the person next to her. “If you can help me pick something to get, I’ll buy whatever you want. My treat.” She offered. At this point in her day, she needed a boost that usually came in the form of something sugary and something caffeinated. And sometimes, she liked getting suggestions for what she should get. Hence the attempt at recruiting the other into her plan. “I’ll try anything, so the possibilities are endless at this point.” She laughed.

there were many things for him to regret in life, but nolan always supposed that came with living. it was impossible for things to be perfect all the time, so mistakes were bound to happen. he could not deny that. could he admit to doing wrong in this instance, though? no, not when he watched her displeasure deepen day by day or when he listened to her complaints of the life she felt locked into. so why the anguish over something he stood by?

seeing her now, getting lost in her eyes all over again, nolan knew what it was he truly regretted. he wished he had made clear what he felt for her back then. shown her that what he had done wasn't just for her, but for both of them. he had been confident it would bring them closer together, not make them strangers to the point where he couldn’t even guess what she would say next.

of course they expected whatever she said to hurt. there was no way to avoid it, but when she spoke, a stinging sensation stabbed him in his chest and almost made him keel over.

a familiar panic began to wrap itself around his neck. he swallowed hard, pushing it down to the pit of his stomach. the acid will eat it away, he thought to himself as a bitterness began to fill his mouth. he refused to believe she didn’t want to ever see him again. if she’d been anyone else, he would’ve let the venom brewing in him to escape and return the pain. with serra, so sweet and so delicate in their eyes however, they couldn’t do it. so they swallowed it down again, the lump in their throat growing.

“i don’t think it’s funny,” he was finally able to get out. i think it’s really fucking sick actually, he almost spits out, but he doesn’t want her to run off and disappear again. he wants his explanation, needs it at this point. so he puts on a mask and pretends he’s fine; he knows how to act after all.

it’s when she stops and faces them that the facade begins to slip. they doubt they’re strong enough to keep it on much longer, so they let her have her way (an easy and natural thing for nolan). “okay. fine. not now,” he surrenders before going onto insist it’s not the end of things. “but we have to talk about this. i’ve missed you.. a lot. i know we can be close again if you only understood, so just… take time to talk to me.”

it’s a performance worthy of an academy award. serra walks away composed and confident, as if the entire situation wasn’t freaking her the fuck out, even as unseen tears stream down her face. it’s surreal?

sure, a part of her always knew that nolan would return to palmview, and perhaps on some level, she had been waiting and hoping for this moment. but, it feels too soon, far too soon. she’s not prepared for it, rendered breathless. 

when serra first saw the news, all she wanted to do was hug him, make sure he was okay. but now, it feels more natural to keep her distance. her confidant, her rock, now a stranger. from a distance, she watches him on the beach, the tide tickling his toes. there’s a calming familiarity that overcomes her, as if she’s watching an old video of their shared time back in los angeles, a faint, wistful smile filling her features.

she takes her time to meet him, her mind racing with a million thoughts of what to say, but none of them feeling quite right. now, only a few feet away, their eyes connect– and she had never envied the ghost crab more, wishing she too, could disappear into the sand. 

i’m really happy to see you, he says. is she happy to see him too? she’s unsure. pondering her words carefully, serra continues walking on the path he started. “i didn’t…” she starts, then falters, her eyes meeting his before looking away. “i didn’t…” again, she hesitates. “i didn’t think i even wanted to see you again.” she finally manages, her words coming out clumsily, in typical serra fashion.

“funny how i've ended up here.” she shrugs and chuckles nervously, the reality of living in his hometown just sinking in. “i can’t quite explain it,” she admits, unclear as to whether she’s talking about her arrival in palmview or her exit from los angeles. “—but, do we really have to do this?” she stops them short, her hand briefly finding their shoulder before she turns to face them fully. “you know exactly why i left, nolan. it's just... hard for me to look at you the same way."

knowing that serra was in town, it had become basically impossible for nolan not to seek her out anywhere he went. with what seemed all of palmview here at the beach party, he was willing to bet everything on running into her. that's what made lottie on his arm all the better. maybe it was petty and immature, but he truly believed that if she saw him with someone else, then maybe she would understand how he had felt all those years ago.

all feelings of entitlement washed away with the waves when he caught sight of her. distressed. out of habit, they felt pulled towards her, so they followed her as she slipped away from the crowd as if a string connected the two and they could only be so far apart. he could explain to lottie later. right now, his old friend needed him.

when he finally caught up to serra, nolan spoke with great tenderness. "hey. what's wrong?" he moved closer to her. like the water on the shore, whatever was washed away was also brought back; he felt compelled to bring her in his arms. he knew how to comfort her. how to ease her away from hurt to the point of laughter. but the reality of them being out of each other's lives for so long and having grown into different people had hit him hard these past few days, so he stopped himself from reaching out to her, though he was still close to her. "you can't leave yet. i was just about to bust a move. you really don't wanna' miss that." // @serraszn

“i’m glad y’all are around,” nolan tells adrian in regards to him and his brother also staying in palmview. if you asked them, nolan wouldn’t be able to say if it was sincere. maybe it was and it wasn’t. i can be complex, he thinks to himself.

on one hand, it was nice to have an old friend nearby. someone to be himself with. someone who was good at looking away from the ugly side of things. nolan didn’t want to think about los angeles, but it was getting hard to suppress the violent flashbacks of his last day there…

on the other hand, they aren’t the biggest fan of adrian. in fact, on a good day and if he wasn’t in sight, nolan would not call adrian a friend. but their mothers are friends, plus adrian’s known to make generous donations to the fundraisers nolan takes part in organizing, so keeping up appearances with the shephards has its importance.

getting the last of his things, nolan is finally ready. “okay, let’s get into some trouble,” he says with a smile, tossing a nip of adrian’s choice of spirit to him, then he twists the cap to his open. nolan holds up the mini alcohol bottle, taking a moment to think of what to toast to. “to boy’s night,” he says once he realizes he won’t be able to come up with anything better. // @adrivns

"d'y'know what i mean?" nolan asked, peering at thea as he held up the two different colored polos. “i don’t think it’s the colors. i’m just more of a t-shirt or button-up guy.” why have a hybrid of each one of the two’s worst parts? maybe it was a sensory thing, but nolan hated the thick knitted fabric of them compared to the softness of a dress shirt. // @theaxward