Cursed

My pieces are scattered all over the place

Lost my mask, lost my face

Yet my heart remembers how it beats for you

The past, the future we drew

The corners are filled with your ghost

I kept what I only hoped to lost.

Why

I can hear your laughter echo in my head

I can feel the love I wish to raise back from the dead

Your footsteps recede, you turn your back

I whimper and stare, still in shock

For even if I knew you're gonna leave

That we run out of stories to weave

My fragile heart can't still accept it

That it'll no more flutter to your smile, it won't no longer beat.

Bittersweet

I hear the rain softly tapping on the window

As I slumber and continue to burrow

In my blankets, blocking the noise with my pillow

I can still hear your twinkling laugh, see you glow

And I can't open my eyes yet and go

For in these fragments of dreams, I can make you stay

Make myself believe that you never say

Goodbye, and forget that fateful day

Forget your broken promise, that you ever went away.

Did you know that your words are an elixir? If not before, please know now.

Did you know that these words fill my heart with warmth? 'Cause it do. Thank you, really. I'm happy to hear that you feel that way.

I float, empty, a husk

In solitude, I bask

Don't let me, don't let me drown

Fill this void and anchor me down.

Farewell

The moon-

That was the last thing I remember

We were staring at it

Like it was the most beautiful thing ever

Then a hug

For that was the last time we'll see each other

I wish I have stayed

On that warm night of November.

Deny

We're here again, stuck in the same place

With flames in my eyes, tears streaking through your face

I can see the tension you carry, the way your shoulders sag

All I did was raise your red flags

I can't be your hero, can't love you the way you want me to

So why won't you go, why not leave too?

Why won't you fight? You deserve someone better

Don't weigh yourself down with me, I'm a monster

Believe what you believe, but I can't be, I can't be better.

Spent

As I walk, it feels heavy

I know this won't make me happy

So, though I want to continue the show

I turned my back without letting them know

Maybe I'll put an end to this tonight

And accept that I lost this fight

For I can't go and pretend anymore

I can't continue banging on these doors

The fog is covering my mind

The exit is something I cannot find

So I will simply make my own

When I leave this world at dawn.

I want someone to look me in the eyes

To see pass through the lies

You did, you once knew

But you walked away, can't handle the truth

That I'm a monster, a bringer of pain

Something which uses people for my own gain

And I admit I have demons but I don't want to destroy

I might not be like you but I also crave joy

I only want some company, a friend

Someone to hold my hand 'till these storms end

But I guess you only want the one I pretended to be

The normal one with simple personality

You don't want the edges, the imperfections, the flaws

That I'm in pieces, what's real and raw

You never wanted who I really am

I can't blame you, even I can't accept my own name.

-D.G. Gir// 03/31/2018