I Can Freely Admit That I Didn't Deserve Them. Not Then. Not With All The Pain I've Caused Them.

Tired

We dream, we love, we cry

We live, we strive, we die

No matter what, it's the same fucking cycle

Long bloody wars, the never-ending battles

And I want out, I want to run away

From the life I'm doomed, from the words they have to say

So go on, pull that trigger

Maybe in death, there is something better.

Lies

I was watching the moon up in the sky

As I sat up and sigh

I told the stars I'm letting you go

That it hurts, but I have to grow

I hope the whispered message reaches you

I forgive you and I'll learn to forgive myself too

Though I know I'll miss you forever

I accepted that things end, connections sever

And I wish, I wish someday when we meet

I can smile and say I'm happy without lying through my teeth.

Spent

As I walk, it feels heavy

I know this won't make me happy

So, though I want to continue the show

I turned my back without letting them know

Maybe I'll put an end to this tonight

And accept that I lost this fight

For I can't go and pretend anymore

I can't continue banging on these doors

The fog is covering my mind

The exit is something I cannot find

So I will simply make my own

When I leave this world at dawn.

Fire

Catch me, catch me, but we're both falling

To my hands, don't you cling

I'm black and blue, you're shining golden

Blood runs black, wounds gaping open

This is an illusion, I'm not your forever

Lying through our teeth, don't you remember?

My voice in your head, a song, a warning

This is a trap, now we better start running.

Run, Baby, Run

My waters are murky and most people are afraid to swim the unknown. Don't try to go in if you don't plan on staying because I can't guarantee that I can let you out. Don't try me and test the waters. I don't need that. If you want, you can observe my waves from the shore. Don't dip, don't sail. I can't give you a safe passage. You might get shipwrecked. We will end up both broken. You will sink and you might be able to salvage your pieces but I know, I know you'll never be the same. And you'll blame me and I will say "I've warned you". If you're looking for a thrill, please not me. I can't promise to let you go when you became tired of the chaos I bring. I can't control my self. I'm toxic. So please, please just stay away. If you only want to experiment if you can fix the broken, cure a person, don't, don't, don't. I'm telling you now that you can't. So please, I don't want to be responsible for another disaster, for another nightmare. So stay away, stay away. Stay safe, I don't want you to regret me. I don't want to you to have that bitterness in your mouth whenever you think of me, because all I'll remind you of is wreckage and that piece of yourself I've robbed you of. I don't want let anyone down again. So leave me alone, and I'll let you be. Let us not hurt each other. I won't want to take a piece of your soul just because I have none.

Cursed

I'd close my eyes and I'll still see you

Behind my eyelids, in the places only we knew

I want to run to you, but I am frozen

How you could not see that I am broken?

And I know, I know you still love me

But you long to set yourself free

And though I wish to be your answer

You'd always be the fire I doused with water

And our fingers might touch, but our hands will never fit

We're fated to be strangers, walking in different sides of street.

Ashes

I feel the hatred in your eyes as you look at me

It was once love, now tell me, what do you see?

A monster with your bloodied heart in her hands

A cruel savage wreaking havoc in these lands

Oh I know, I know, an apology won't cut it

But please believe that I meant every bit

I told you, I told you, don't give me something I do not deserve

I'm only meant from afar, something to be observed

I am chaos, I destroy everything I touch

Now, the pieces shatter, as you resent me and watch.

Her

She's such a sweet rose

The bright spring, in a dark, cold winter

She's all I can remember

She has that angelic grace

That saved me from my demons and monsters

But maybe it'll be best to forget her

For all her smiles,

Her laugh, her voice that used to make me better

All faded away the day she chose her lover.