Every Monday I Realize How Much EVERYONE Is Just Living For The Weekend. I Need A Goddamn Nap.

Explain please. How does "I'm really liking being single," somehow mean "I haven't found/am looking for the right person?" No. I Like. And Enjoy. Being. Single. Really is that simple.

Very few things piss me off more than someone saying that they HAVE to do something that is optional. Oh really, you HAVE to shave? You HAVE to straighten your hair? NO, YOU WANT TO. FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN STOP IT.

Interesting. I'm kinda worried/curious about the "mating signal," but fuck if I'm googling THAT.

The Eleven Satanic Rules Of The Earth

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

Do not harm little children.

Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Ugh, season 4 Glee

I’m re-watching #Glee. So s4 ep 9 swan song (shut up spn, I know) … Rachel fuckin Berry says her fave holiday song is O Holy Night. For fuckin real? Since when? “…o night devine, o night when Christ was born.” She still Jewish, fucknuts?

I'd very much like to punch a feminist.

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist. It’d bring me great joy.

If you need Plan B, here’s a printable $10 off coupon. 

Woo!

The Daily Show looks into Donald Trump’s unlikely support among evangelicals.