I Fantasize About Possessing You In Every Way Possible, Ensuring That No One Else Ever Comes Close To

I wish I knew what he thought of me. What thought come into his head when he glides his gaze over me? I would even want to know if it's bad, it's better than living in the unknown, I could change if possible and I could use the sadness to cut myself.

If only I could read his mind, better yet control it.

I really wanna get on medicine. Wanna get a diagnosis incase I have something. But I don't have the balls or strength to actually go.

Mostly I don't wanna go cause it's embarrassing if there is nothing wrong with me. Wasting their time and seeming self diagnosing and dramatic. I am not having a breakdown almost everyday anymore, so it feels like I'm too mentally well and stable to go. But thats also what I thought when I did have breakdowns very often.

But perhaps my hesitance to go just shows that things ain't that bad at all. Just gotta make sure I don't get bored for even a second or I'll get suicidal.

I took a nap during the day and now I can't sleep. I'm so bored and just want to sleep, but I Literally can not fall asleep.

When you had started to kinda forgot about him but then see him again after a long time:

Not denying it anymore. I am manipulative! I am problematic! Love me!!

Me flirting

I want my mom to hold me and then tuck me to bed. Put me to sleep so sweet and deep, I'll never wake.

If only I had an obsession who I could actually interact with. Who I could actually talk with, get to know them better, become deeply obsessed with them.

I can't bring myself to do anything. I just keep giving up and failing every day, just again and again.

It's Friday night and I'm crying over things that will never change. I can't can't fucking cut myself since my dad is in the room next to me.

I just wish is wasn't myself. I wish I had a different mind, a different body, a different existence. That I didn't exist at all