I’m Starting A Burnt Out Adults Club Where We Talk About All The Cool Things We Want To Do If We Had

i think the rest of the bats probably forget that Tim actually has a full time job. like an important one. they probably text him all the time like ‘wanna help me with this case’ and Tim’s like ‘can’t sorry I’m in Germany for the next 3 days’ and then all the kids are talking for the next week like ‘wow Tim’s probably in some deep shit with this international case he’s working. can’t imagine what he’s dealing with rn’ and then the week after Tim’s at the manor for dinner and Dick’s like ‘so tell us all the gory details of the case in Germany!’ and Tim just looks at him lost.

‘what case’

‘the reason you had to go undercover in Germany and couldn’t join me and Jason’s stakeout!’

‘i never said i was undercover’

‘why the fuck else would you go to Germany?’

‘business convention’

‘…’

‘…i had to give a seminar- you guys know im a CEO right?’

‘well BRUCE never had to travel when HE ran the company-‘

‘BECAUSE BRUCE WAS SHIT AT HIS JOB THATS WHY A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD HAD TO TAKE OVER’

and Bruce is sat at the end of the table just slightly offended.

I thought he’d like the shirt.

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

"you can't pick and choose what you like from canon" common misconception! yes you can

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

If a disabled person tells you to not touch them, it doesn't matter what your intentions are, whether you believe they're struggling with something, whether you think you're trying to help. You respect personal boundaries and bodily autonomy, end of story.

Anyway, people with brain damage I love you. People who have had strokes I love you, especially if you're told you were "too young" to have one. People who acquired your brain damage by less common means such as infection, lack of oxygen at birth or degenerative disease, I love you. People with moderate and severe brain damage, I love you. People who lost their sight or hearing or ability to speak because of their brain damage, I love you. People who have paralysis from their brain damage, I love you. People with amnesia and severe cognitive issues from their brain damage, I love you. People with rare and unusual symptoms from their brain damage, I love you.

You are not a punchline, you haven't lost your humanity, your thoughts and opinions are as valuable as anyone else's. We deserve respect.

[ID: a dark red banner with the words "This post is about physical disabilities, do not derail." in grey font. Either side of it is a lighter grey wheelchair user symbol with the user leaning forward with the arms raised and back, giving the appearance of wheeling fast. End ID.]

The Justice League has been working to dismantle the GIW for awhile, and finally found enough evidence to get them shut down.

Superman is picked to be involved with the dismantling of the base, and equipped with some sort of strange watch bought from a family-run ghost hunting business in Illinois. Apparently, the thing prevents him from being possessed.

He has, of course, ordered fifteen of the things.

Being possessed and used to hurt his friends and family has and always will be one of his worst fears.

As they circle the base, hidden and in groups, waiting for Cyborg to bypass security-Cyborg pauses.

They have someone.

A small-town hero, Phantom. They have him strapped to an operating table, and they're literally about to start carving into him.

Superman sees red.

Inside the base, Danny's waiting for the GIW thugs to start cutting into his duplicate so he can record it and get evidence to the Justice League, so that they know these guys are really fucked up.

He isn't expecting the ceiling to suddenly go missing.

He really isn't expecting to see a spectacularly pissed off Superman start towards the GIW agents while Martian Manhunter (calm down fenton don't be a nerd don't geek out omgomgomgomggggg) himself frees the duplicate.

Then Martian Manhunter pauses.

Looks at Danny.

Danny wills himself onto the visible spectrum and allows the duplicate to dissipate.

Unfortunately, in his effort to not sound starstruck, he just sounds pissed.

"Oh, so now you show up? In the middle of my sting operation?"

guys DO NOT go back and psychoanalyze writing you did before you came out. it's a genuine miracle i didn't kill myself in 2020