the average twitter vs tumblr community experience
i think the rest of the bats probably forget that Tim actually has a full time job. like an important one. they probably text him all the time like ‘wanna help me with this case’ and Tim’s like ‘can’t sorry I’m in Germany for the next 3 days’ and then all the kids are talking for the next week like ‘wow Tim’s probably in some deep shit with this international case he’s working. can’t imagine what he’s dealing with rn’ and then the week after Tim’s at the manor for dinner and Dick’s like ‘so tell us all the gory details of the case in Germany!’ and Tim just looks at him lost.
‘what case’
‘the reason you had to go undercover in Germany and couldn’t join me and Jason’s stakeout!’
‘i never said i was undercover’
‘why the fuck else would you go to Germany?’
‘business convention’
‘…’
‘…i had to give a seminar- you guys know im a CEO right?’
‘well BRUCE never had to travel when HE ran the company-‘
‘BECAUSE BRUCE WAS SHIT AT HIS JOB THATS WHY A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD HAD TO TAKE OVER’
and Bruce is sat at the end of the table just slightly offended.
my body is a machine that turns existing into ouchie
oracle, ban this guy
(some shitpost while i work on that bernard comic)
Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.
And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?
and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces
and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.
so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.
It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"
The video is immediately viral.
(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)
Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)
Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.
Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)
Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.
(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)
i love you addicts. i love you when you're sober. i love you when you're clean. i love you when you're dry. i love you when you're scared and confused. i love you when you're fighting off relapse. i love you when you're in relapse. i love you when you're detoxing. i love you when you're on maintenance medication. i love you when you're in rehab or the psych ward. i love you when you're in a sober house or group home. i love you when you're homeless or displaced. i love you when you're broke. i love you when you're not broke, including when you spend your money on substances.
i love you when you're you, sickness and adversity and all. i love you when you're you, recovery and strength and all. i love you for being here. i love you because you're a person. i love you more and more; you're the person who needs love the most.
After Jason’s resurrection he finds that his body works… wrong somehow.
Some days he forgets to breathe until he wants to say something and finds there’s no air in lungs. Other days his body goes eerily cold until someone points out that his lips are blue and he needs to warm up.
And some days his heart stops beating in his sleeps.
It’s fine, really. It always starts again eventually a short while after he wakes up. And yeah, of course it was a bit scary the first couple times it happened but it’s not like his resurrection and Pit-dip came with an instruction manual, so this is probably pretty normal stuff, all things considered. He is kind of the definition of “undead”.
The real trouble starts when he forgets to mention those little details to the Batfamily when he stays over for the night.
everybody manifest me finding a nice affordable place to live 🙏🙏
Thee kiddos
Bug || 22 they/them || pure chaos + lots of neurodivergent and Batman shit
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