Batman Has Gotta Be One Of My Favorite Heroes Only Because He’ll Go Through The Most Borderline Traumatic

i think the rest of the bats probably forget that Tim actually has a full time job. like an important one. they probably text him all the time like ‘wanna help me with this case’ and Tim’s like ‘can’t sorry I’m in Germany for the next 3 days’ and then all the kids are talking for the next week like ‘wow Tim’s probably in some deep shit with this international case he’s working. can’t imagine what he’s dealing with rn’ and then the week after Tim’s at the manor for dinner and Dick’s like ‘so tell us all the gory details of the case in Germany!’ and Tim just looks at him lost.

‘what case’

‘the reason you had to go undercover in Germany and couldn’t join me and Jason’s stakeout!’

‘i never said i was undercover’

‘why the fuck else would you go to Germany?’

‘business convention’

‘…’

‘…i had to give a seminar- you guys know im a CEO right?’

‘well BRUCE never had to travel when HE ran the company-‘

‘BECAUSE BRUCE WAS SHIT AT HIS JOB THATS WHY A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD HAD TO TAKE OVER’

and Bruce is sat at the end of the table just slightly offended.

People mischaracterising cass as the most perfect most well behaved child ever is so funny to me like that’s literally Crashout Cain right there

anyway top 5 Cassandra Cain Crash outs (in no particular order, also may not be top 5 just the ones I can think of rn and they’re all from batgirl 2000)

when she saw someone shoot and kill one of his own guys and got so mad at him she stopped his heart so he would know what it felt like to die

When she woke up in the ambulance after getting the shit beat out of her by lady shiva and jumped out of the moving ambulance, crashed into a police car then went to go fight shiva again with like 4x the amount of injuries she had the first time (all while shirtless btw because her shirt got shredded when she threw herself at the police car)

When Steph died and she spent the entire rest of her run crashing out every 5 seconds (I can’t give all the examples rn but it’s basically just all the batgirl 2000 comics after no mans land)

when she got kicked into a barrel of illegal drugs then proceeded to hallucinate her friends and family saying mean things to her and also the devil and angel on her shoulders fighting, the devil one then she crashed out and beat up all the drug gang members then when nightwing showed up she kicked him through a window

when she decided that she had to fight the joker to prove herself as batgirl so broke him out of prison and when she couldn’t read his body language she called him boring then beat the shit out of him when he dropped his guard

There are way more than this btw, everyone in the batfam is a certified crash out but Cass isn’t recognised as much as she should be and that should be changed. Crashout Cain 2025 everyone!!

Anyway hope we get some epic new crash outs in batgirl 2024!!

YES I’ve been chased and hissed at by a Canada goose but it doesn’t make me hate them guess I’m just built different

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?

since ive regularly needed these reminders over the past month or so since i quit: not working is completely morally neutral. everyone deserves respect and dignity regardless of employment status. ones ability to work should not determine their worth etc etc. i love my unemployed baddies

It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.

Say “healing your inner child” and no one bats an eye say “age regression” and society goes wild…SOCIETY

"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would

More male characters who are interested in their mother's legacy. As a trope there's a lot of sons and daughters who follow in the father's footsteps and there's yes, girls who honor their mother, ect. But let's have more dudes who are like. Stumbling on their mom's secret fairy cottage or some shit. And they're like aight gotta make the tea