Precision.

It’s easy to ignore information I don’t need. Near impossible to manifest information I don’t have.

European recipes make me feel like Walter white

American recipes: [3 page story about how their mamaw used to make this for them during the depression] so you’re gonna smack a stick of butter in there and then put a cup or two of flour until you feel like it’s dry enough. Be generous with the sugar. You’ll know when. Get a healthy amount of molasses and an egg in there and then mix up with your hands until it’s nice and crumbly. If you’re feeling fruity you can add vanilla extract here if you’re tough like they are where I come from cornmeal will do. Add water to taste and texture. If you’ve struck big it can be milk. Put in cast iron skillet blow it a kiss and bake until golden brown. Let cool until you get tired of smacking a bunch of little hands away from having a taste.

European recipe for essentially the same thing: You. Worm. Get out your little scale. You need 147 grams of flour. no more no less. 133 milliliters of fresh milk. 27 grams of white granulated sugar. If an extra granule ends up in the mixing bowl someone from Brussels will be by to administer the proper regulatory fee in 48 hours. Whisk together for 139 seconds exactly and titrate 3ml extrait de vanille into the bowl using an eye dropper before baking at 231 Celsius for 26 minutes. If you deviate from this in any way the food will be inedible and your fine will double.

More Posts from Butchbunkum and Others

butchbunkum

1 month ago

If you take away their names, they’re basically shitty wizards who know essentially one spell

Cyclops = eyeball wizard

Colossus = skin wizard

Wolverine = bone wizard (with claws)

Jean grey = mind witch

Storm = weather witch

Rogue = mana drinker/mirror witch

Etc. etc. etc.

"But I need wizard school media to live" just develop bad opinions about the X-Men like a normal person.

17K notes View Post

butchbunkum

1 month ago

Tags

it’s like the borg without the sense of community

124 notes View Post

butchbunkum

2 weeks ago

Reasonable to dislike beer but here’s some information I picked up working briefly at a beer bar:

Beer ages both poorly and quickly. Its shelf life is for shit. Getting a fresh beer makes a huge difference in quality. I’ve heard that the beer sold around the overseas breweries are like heaven (Guiness and Pilsner urqell for example) since they may only be a few hours old.

Also, pretty sure OP is a preteen pretending to be an adult.

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

Tags

fresher=better

73K notes View Post

butchbunkum

1 month ago

Pet peeve: BUGS ARENT GONNA GET BIGGER JUST CAUSE OF GENES!

bugs don’t have lungs. The oxygen in the atmosphere permeates their tissue by means of holes in their body. It’s a passive system that is dependent on diffuse oxygen in the air. During the age of giant bugs there was more oxygen in the atmosphere. Simply put: More oxygen in the air —> more oxygen in the tissues—> larger bugs.

#bugs

old gods are waking

276K notes View Post

butchbunkum

1 month ago

Thanks for piercing the temporal veil of my past and reminding me of that which i had forgotten!

A group of fantasy characters in a forest includes a giant frog, giant bird, giant rodent, a nude fairy with antenna holding a blue orb, a bearded red-haired centaur holding an ax, an ogre, and a guy with pointy ears sitting on a pile of giant books who's writing in a normal size book with a quill pen.

Darrell K. Sweet's 1989 cover to Piers Anthony's Visual Guide to Xanth, by Piers Anthony & Jody Lynn Nye. Via Ranaroth on Bluesky.

465 notes View Post

butchbunkum

2 weeks ago

The liberal urge to redeem every monster, even while they have their hands wrapped around their throat.

There's not going to be an lgbt ally pope you stupid slut

221 notes View Post

butchbunkum

2 weeks ago

I read “stage paintings” and immediately thought of broadway:

How did I miss weaponlord? Was it a musical? I wonder what the choreography was like

Stage Paintings By Glenn Kim For Weaponlord (Visual Concepts, 1995).

Stage paintings by Glenn Kim for Weaponlord (Visual Concepts, 1995).

272 notes View Post

butchbunkum

3 weeks ago

*lights pipe, leans back into rocking chair*

You youngsters don’t remember a time when the onion was printed and offered free of charge in sidewalk kiosks. Those were the good ‘ol days. When you could feel the joke between your fingers. When you could roll up the joke into a little horn and go toot into your friends ear. We lived like barbarians, and by gum, we loved it.

*Puffs pipe. Sets self on fire*

Getting a print version of the Onion is a decision I'll never regret