Shenanigans

A possible turnaround

Though it’s been a while since I’ve started my new room project, I’ve surprisingly faced no burnout so far. It seems like life’s being suspiciously nice to me, which gets me a bit on edge- but I’ll do my best to enjoy it while I can.

My parents have approved of my drawings for my room plan, thankfully. That’s a greenlight for me to continue to clean up completely motivated! And even though I can’t exactly feel it on account of some amount of emotional numbness, I do prefer the kind of energy I’m getting from this than anything I’ve felt before. It’s just a happy feeling, out of the blue, unprompted. I no longer want to do nothing, sink into the ground, or cry- I just want to continue and smile?

It feels good to make progress on accomplishing my dream! I’ve also made a custom search engine for myself earlier today- just to fit my dream as well.

Usually I’d show it to my friends, but if they ask why, “I’m trying to change my entire personality and life” doesn’t exactly sound swell from the other end. No worries though- they’ll know a completely different person by the end of this!

I’m off to clean, I’ll make another post later! 

<3 Caramel

Wishing the apocalypse started right now, ruining billions of lives and throwing the world into irreversible chaos because I'd rather hide from zombies and eat scraps than do a midterm for two hours

3:35AM and Project A

I hope my short term manic obsessions aren't just my brain compensating for a ton of social problems I have

Because I think they're actually pretty cool sometimes and I'm actually planning to put my most recent obsession into action and I hope I hope I hope this is for real this could make me so happy but. I don't know.

For the record, though, I'm done being left at the mall bc people forget I'm with them

So maybe my problems are bc I get clingy to people who I shouldn't be

It's really late, though, so I'll be heading to bed for now, with sweet, sweet thoughts of my project!! :)))

<333 Caramel

I miss it already

"Wait, wait, so you're telling me..." *Joe leans into the mic* "that magical girls are real?"

"Well, Joe, I was using a metaphor, like, emphasizing the difference between the online and real-world selves, but honestly, from the happiness brought from logging in and posting, magical girls may as well be real—"

*puts his hands up in surprise* "Oh my god. So they are real. I thought it was all just some anime nonsense. Jamie, Google this right now. Google magical girl sightings nearby. Maybe we can get an interview. And you were saying earlier, some of these girls explode?"

"That's where the whole subculture comes from, Joe. Like a landmine, if you get too close to one, they'll explode, but that's more of an emotional—"

"CHRIST. Is that even legal? How can they DO that? I want to know, like, the science behind it." *leans in closer* "Do you know what makes the explosions? Jamie, google some explosion gifs right now. Yeah, pull that up. I wonder how strong those are. Like, something like that could probably kill a silverback gorilla."

I think my brain growth or maturity or whatever was stunted when I was little, must've been honestly

Scared of losing a close friend rn I just wanna make him happy I hope he knows

☆♡Dreams Come True♡☆

After years of living in a cluttered nest, I finally took the time to completely clean and redecorate my room this past spring break.

I'm on my final homestretch now—three months left until graduation! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, but time waits for no man.

Adulthood, here I come!

idk

I think I’m going to lose it honestly, not in the angry sort of way but just in the way where I’m so tired and there’s so much I haven’t done and it’s pretty hopeless at this point.

idk what I was thinking when I thought maybe I could turn this around but honestly so much has piled up already I don’t think I can do much

maybe it’s time to wait for another time to do this. Maybe when it’s less busy lol. I could really use a hug but idk if I’ll take it alright but I have my pillow so ig that’s okay

I’ve got quite a few things due tomorrow that I haven’t even started yet and I’m in some pretty deep stuff with my parents so no support over there. Christ I wish I were younger because then I’d be able to say I’m too young for this

Lunchtime

I need to finish soon. I've gotten so.much progress done already but it's all going to be gone if I don't finish soon my stuff is downstairs I can do it