The Fandom Effect

Potter Sibling Stuff:

James: Why can’t I go in the kitchen?

Lily: *Hiding fallen feathers behind her back* No reason.

James: Then let me through.

Albus, From The Kitchen: ARGH!

James: *runs in and freezes*

Albus: *holding scratched arm next to a hippogriff* This isn’t what it looks like.

James: Well then what is it!? Because it looks like a Hippogriff in our kitchen!

Lily: This is all a dream *hand swishes*

James: That only worked once!

Albus: In our defence, Mum and Dad only said we couldn’t get a baby Hippogriff, they never said anything about a fully grown one.

—

Lily: *holding sketchbook* What’s this?

Albus: What are you doing in my room!?

Lily: Looking for your diary.

James: Oh I have that. Thought it was a very gay hand written novel at first.

Albus: *snatching diary* Give that!

—

James: No.

Lily: Yes.

James: No!

Lily: Yes!

Albus: Hey guys, you were taking too long and I did it anyway.

James: Wha — NO!!

—

James: Why do I have to do the dishes? I did them last night!

Lily: Because Mum and Dad love me more.

Albus: Yeah, and they hate the way I do them.

Ginny: Hey kids, oh and James, it’s rubbish day tomorrow so take the kitchen bins out.

James: Wha — I have plans!

Albus: Not anymore trash man.

—

Albus: Oh yeah, and James.

James: Yeah?

Albus: Try a silencing charm next time, it really—

James: *throws pillow at Albus*

—

Lily, Wearing Crop Top And Shorts: I’m going out.

James: Not in that you’re not!

Lily: Why not!?

Albus: Because it’s ugly.

James: At least wear something that goes together well.

—

James: *plonks on the couch*

Harry: Took me ages to fluff those pillows.

James: Sorry.

Albus: *steps over back and squats with a plate of cold pizza* What are you guys watching?

Harry: Some Muggle cop show.

James: What!? Why doesn’t he get yelled at for that!?

—

Lily: Can I invite a girl over?

Harry: Sure.

Albus: Could I invite a girl over?

Harry: No.

Albhs: Why!?

Harry: It’s just inappropriate.

Albus: What about a boy?

Harry: That’s fine.

Albus: *silent in polysexual*

James: Could I invite a boy —

Harry: You’re still grounded.

James: For what!?

Harry: *Points to dirty dishes*

James: That was Lily’s—

Harry: I don’t want to hear the excuses.

—

Albus: I may have gotten into a fight.

James: With who!? A dragon!?

Albus: No! Just some twenty-five year old with a lighter.

James: What!? Are you okay!?

Albus: Yeah I’m fine, he wasn’t very good.

James: You’re covered in cuts, bruises and burns!

Albus: And? You should see him.

Lily: *walks in* Again? What did he say this time?

James: AGAIN!?!?

—

James: *walks into bathroom to see Albus bleaching half his head* Did you have another mental breakdown?

Albus: No. It was a panic attack actually.

—

Lily: How is James better at makeup than me!? He doesn’t even wear it!

James: I’m gay, I don’t know.

—

Albus: This is a bad idea. Maybe we shouldn’t do this?

Lily: James will be hella pissed.

Albus: Okay, let’s go!

—

Albus, Over Phone: Hey Mum. You think you forgot something at the shops?

Ginny: Oh shit! Lily asked for rye bread.

Albus: I meant me!

James: You forget Albus again?

Ginny: Why didn’t you mention it?

James: You forget your child and I’m somehow to blame?

Ginny: Don’t give me that back talk!

James: Backtalk!?

Ginny: You’re grounded!

Albus: This was so worth getting left behind.

—

Lily: Can I stay over at a friends house this weekend?

Harry: Sure.

Lily: Thanks!

James and Albus: How was that so easy for her…?

“The whole point of keeping the school open at this time is for you to receive your education. The exams will therefore take place as usual, and I trust you are all revising hard.”

— Happy birthday to Minerva McGonagall

Harry Potter and co. headcanons I would die for:

Ronald Weasley has eyelashes from the gods and every girl in gryffindor is jealous

Draco Malfoy looks damn fine in high heels and Astoria agrees

Sirius Black showed up to Lily Potters babyshower in drag

Percy Weasley helped Oliver Wood study for his OWL and NEWTS

Hermione lets Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil do her makeup and braid her hair while she quizzes them for exams

Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson are as close as Sirius Black and James Potter were

The whole school thought Draco and Pansy were dating until Pansy kissed Millicent Bulstrode smack on the lips in sixth year in front of the entire great hall

The golden trio have so many bizarre inside jokes about the constant trouble they find themselves in and everyone is baffled

Nymphadora Tonks went an entire month with slytherin green hair once after she saw a firstie snake getting picked on

Remus Lupin got a septum piercing in fourth year but the next full moon transformation ruined it and now he’s got a slightly deformed nose forever

After Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter became friends so did their mothers

Hermione Granger has got the Thunder Thighs of Aphrodite

Sirius Black had an actual crush on Minerva McGonagall and the marauders teased him about it just as much as they teased James about Lily

Scorpius Malfoy loves Game of Thrones but he got extremely offended when Rose Granger compared him to a Lannister

Ginny Weasleys first kiss was Luna Lovegood but they were never romantically involved, Luna said ‘sometimes a kiss is just a kiss’ and Ginny found that nice

After Harry came out as bisexual he and Hermione would sometimes stay up and talk about boys and often Ron would join and they’d all sit and gossip

Once Hermione called Professor Flitwick dad and then she proceeded to slam her head down on the desk and say a very bad word

Luna Lovegood made Draco Malfoy a flower crown and charmed it so he couldn’t take it off because she thought he needed it

Ginny Weasley told Snape off for being a bully and she got detention for a month

Luna Lovegood proposed to Rolf Scamander without a ring because it was an impulsive decision so instead she gave him a radish on a string and he wore it to their wedding

Ginny Weasley was Luna Lovegoods maid of honour and vice versa

Hermione spoke at Lavender Browns funeral and she told everyone about the time Lavender dried her tears after the Yule ball and told her she was beautiful

Viktor Krum, Fleur Delacour and Harry Potter get together once a year and visit Cedric Diggorys grave

Teddy Lupin wore so much eyeliner

Hermione Granger gave all her notes from her OWLs to Ginny when she was in sixth year so Ginny could study off them

Minerva McGonagall is the reason first years aren’t allowed brooms

Professor Sprout was considerably less cheerful the year after Cedric died

Bellatrix Black used to babysit little Sirius Black and decided she hated children and never wanted any he was such a menace

After Harry was moved from under the stairs he became very claustrophobic so much he couldn’t be in broom closets to snog Ginny

Fred and George Weasley were bridesmaids at Ginnys wedding

Cho Chang became friends with a lot of the hufflepuffs from Cedrics year after his death and even Fleur and Viktor

James Potter cried more than Lily on his wedding day

Albus Severus Potter made a habit of visiting the portrait of Headmaster Snape every month or so

Arthur Weasley and Molly Prewett started dating in second year

Harry Potter called Molly Weasley ‘mum’ on multiple occasions and every time she would just smile as he apologised

can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.

They forgot that we are Women

They called her a know-it-all. They told her that she was annoying and would never have any friends. They told her she was a mudblood, not worthy to flourish a wand or brew a potion or stand beside the ones they called purebloods. They told her she couldn’t. They forgot that she was persistence, she was strength, that the most important things were friendship and bravery. They forgot that she was Hermione Granger.

They called her crazy. They told her that she would never be anything more than the loony girl who read the quibbler, that crumple-horned snorcacks and nargles were fairytales her father told her to help her get to sleep. They told her that she would never fit in. They forgot that she didn’t want to fit in, that she was secret wisdom and serenity, that they were just as sane as she was. They forgot that she was Luna Lovegood.

They called her small. They told her that she was overshadowed by her brothers, that she was a slut who dated too many boys and who loved the Boy Who Lived because he brought her recognition. They forgot that she didn’t need a boy to bring her recognition, that quidditch and power and rebellion and the bat-bogey hex flowed in her veins. They forgot that anything was possible if you’ve got enough nerve. They forgot that she was Ginny Weasley.

They called her needy. They told her she was clingy and useless and that she needed a boy to define her. They forgot that she truly loved him, she just didn’t know how to show it. They forgot that even though she was afraid, she fought and died for her friends. They forgot that she was Lavender Brown.

They called her self-absorbed. They tpld her she had no right to be in Gryffindor, that she was a sucker for attention from professors like Trelawney, that Harry Potter had only taken her to the Yule Ball because he had no one else to take. They forgot that she was intelligence and small doses of courage and a true friend. They forgot that she was the prettiest girl in her year. They forgot that she was Parvati Patil.

They called her shallow. They told  her that she was gorgeous only on the outside, that she was stuck-up and patronizing. They forgot that she would die for the ones she loved, that looks meant nothing to her, that she was as much a fairy princess as they were. They forgot that she was Fleur Delacour.

They called her weak. They told her to get over her tears, that she would be happy again if she only tried, that she wouldn’t survive a storm. They forgot that she was the storm, that she was hidden strength, that her fury was as strong as her sorrow. They forgot that even if they had the emotional range of a teaspoon, she didn’t. They forgot that she was Cho Chang.

They called us many names

but they forgot that we are W O M E N

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

I would love to lose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship with hugh grant

Hiiiiiii :) I love your Next Generation Aesthetic and was wondering if you could share some of your next gen headcanons with us?

Thank you so much😘 ofcourse  I’ll share some of my headcanons with you :) I’ll do them oneby one and go from oldest to youngest. Oh and sorry it turned out so long

Teddy:

He was born on 13th April, the day after the full moon

When he was a baby/toddler he used to change his hair depending on whatever mood he would happen to be in

Molly and Arthur always saw Teddy as their first grandchild

Even though he lives with Andromeda, he still spends a lot of time with the Potter’s or at the burrow

Because he often changed his appearance without even noticing, he couldn’t go to a normal kindergarten/preschool 

This lead to Victoire being his first real friend

“Why does Vicky call Bill ‘Dad’, but I’m not calling you ‘Dad’, Harry?”

He’s four when he asks this and it’s the first time someone tells him

He cried, he felt sad, but he still didn’t understand completely, because how could a four-year-old understand that

But he wasn’t alone

He had his grandma, Harry and Ginny

And they loved him

From this day on he always made three cards each Mother’s Day: One for his grandma, one for Ginny and one for the woman who loved him so much that she died for him

When he was six and James Sirius was born he had a little bother

He was nervous when he left to go to Hogwarts

Would he be a Gryffindor like his dad and his expanded family?

A Hufflepuff like his mother and his grandfather?

A Slytherin like his grandmother?

Or the first Ravenclaw in the family?

It didn’t take long for the sorting hat to put Teddy into Hufflepuff

And it that moment his hair turned bubble gum pink

For his 13th birthday Harry gave Teddy the Marauder’s Map

When people met Teddy as a teenager it didn’t take long for them to realize that the word ‘Hufflepunk’ existed because of this boy

Is just as clumsy as his mother (Oh wait that’s canon)

He was 15 when he realized that he had fallen in love with Victoire

He was 16 when he told her

He was 17 when Bill found out and was glad that he knew how to disapparate by the time

When he left Hogwarts (with excellent grades) he became a healer at St. Mungo’s

Victoire:

Looks like a mini version of her mum

Followed Teddy around everywhere when they were little

Hide and seek champion

Is one of the few Weasley’s that would rather die than sitting on a broom

Teddy mocks her about this sometimes

“You don’t like flying either!”

“Yes, but I didn’t scream that I would die, when I was only two feet off the ground.”

She was the first Weasley to get sorted into Ravenclaw

Perfect and Head Girl

Speaks perfect French, but likes to hoax people

“Can you say something in French?”

“Tu es un abruti.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re really beautiful.”

Looks like an innocent little girl, but if you make her angry you better run

Wears a different flower in her hair everyday

On Halloween she however always wears lilies

After the other girls were old enough to understand the meaning behind this, they started doing this too 

Fred II:

If you think that his name is everything he shares with his uncle you’re terribly wrong

Is in the same year as James Sirius and this is a combination Hogwarts was not prepared for

Proud Gryffindor

Is the only student to never be pranked by Peeves

George never tells him why, because the memory still hurts

Is one of the Gryffindor beaters since his second year

After he finished school “Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes” finally becames “Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes” again

Once created a potion that jumped out of the cauldron and disappeared through the wall

No one knows how that happened

Molly II:

Is also in Fred and Sirius year

The sorting hat was already confused after he had to sort a James Potter and Fred Weasley again, but when he heard Neville calling out “Molly Weasley”, he thought they were making fun of him

He however realized that this one was different after he sorted her into Ravenclaw after 14 minutes

Perfect and Head Girl

She is a rather quiet girl

But if she wants something she will do anything to get it and is a lot like her father in this point

Even though Molly isn’t as big of a prankster as her two cousins she still helps them often

When Percy got a letter from McGonagall telling him that Molly got a detention, he couldn’t believe what he just read

Molly was also the one who figured out how to add new things to the Marauder’s Map, like the Room of Requirement

Molly still is one of the kindest people you would ever met and has a heart out of pure gold

James Sirius:

Just like Fred II this boy lives up to the legacy of his name givers

And with his messy black hair and his brown eyes he looks a lot like his grandfather

Each year on Harry’s birthday James rendered Ginny’s poem

Is one of the Gryffindor beaters

Became team captain in his fourth year

There were some protests once, because at one point the Quidditch team was Potter and Weasley only

Is extremely good at charms

Teddy gave him the Marauder’s Map at the beginning of James’ third year

Is always super protective when it comes to his siblings and cousins

One time he and Fred had to sort out old detention slips, when he had THE idea

The two of them spend days counting how many pranks the marauders and Fred and George pulled throughout their time at Hogwarts

After they counted all of them together they had a new goal

They would beat them and pull more pranks then all of them together

In their seventh year they were worried that they wouldn’t be able to beat them

But they did

Their last prank was after their N.E.W.T.s

And it was the ultimate prank

This was also the only day McGonagall truly thought about retiring

Lucy:

Other than her sister Lucy hates her red hair

She started dying it when she was 14 and changed its colour all the time

At first because she thought it was cool, later to annoy her dad

Even through blood status wasn’t important to her, she was still kind of proud that she and Molly were the only pureblood Weasley kids

Is super curious

Often eavesdrops on other people

Loves gossip

Is one of the chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team

Super smart and loves playing chess

Likes to be alone sometimes, but still can’t be too long without her two best friends/cousins

Great at Divination

Dominique:

Was born on the first May which lead to problems between her and Victoire, because they both hated to have their birthdays so close together

Rebel heart

The only thing she has in common with her sister is her blond hair and that she will kick your ass

Amazing artist

Like really, that girl has some talent

Wears black 99.9% of the time

She, Lucy and Roxanne share a dorm in the Gryffindor tower

When it comes to friendships between the Weasley kids, theirs is the strongest

These three are the gossip queens of Hogwarts

Kind of hoped that she would be sorted into Slytherin, but knew that she belonged into Gryffindor

Refuses to speak French, when people ask her to

Gryffindor Chaser

Roxanne:

Loves that she has naturally red hair and dark skin

Is an awesome singer and loves music more than anything

She is the other chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team

Always wears a choker necklace

Ripped jeans

Is gay and has a crush on this cute Hufflepuff girl in her year

Sassy as hell

Shares the love of her grandfather for Muggle things (she prefers the old ones)

Lucy and Dominique are the only ones who are allowed to call her Roxy

Leader of the “Pluto is a planet” society at Hogwarts

Activist, literally will start a demonstration if she really wants something

Scorpius Hyperion:

Really quiet

Sometimes hates it to be a pureblood, because of the prejudices

Loves his father AND HIS MOTHER, WHO IS STILL ALIVE AND LIVES HAPPILY WITH DRACO!!!!!!!!!

Will never feel ashamed for his father and will defend him every time someone tries to talk bullshit about the Malfoys

Is totally gay for Albus

Reads a lot, spends more time with books than with people

Only person whose character was good in Cursed Child

Is Narcissa’s “little prince"

Had a happy childhood

Is always welcome at the burrow and at Potter’s

Does not give a f*** about whether someone is a pureblood, half blood, or muggle born thing

Slytherin Perfect

Rose:

Of all the Weasley’s Rose is the best at Quidditch

She’s a keeper

Is the only one who got into the team in her first year

Became captain after James graduated

Is super smart like her mom

But will procrastinate for as long as possible

Oh, what was that? You were insulting someone I like? Let me just PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!

Biggest Scorbus shipper of all time

Looks like Hermione, but with red hair

Is super close with her dad

Ron was the one who thought her how to be a perfect keeper

But sometimes she asks Ginny or Angelina for Quidditch advice

Albus:

The hat actually wasn’t sure whether to put Albus into Gryffindor or Slytherin

He wanted to be in Slytherin

Doesn’t play Quidditch, but loves to watch

When its Gryffindor vs. Slytherin he will cheer for his house, but won’t boo on his family

Loves his little baby sister and his idiot brother ;)

Is totally gay for Scorpius

Also rather quiet

Smart, he knows what he’s doing and always thinks before acting

Once found Snape’s portrait at Hogwarts and talked with him all night

Oh, and just a reminder that Neville is canonly Albus’ godfather

Louis:

Went to Beauxbaton till his fourth year

He came back, because he wanted to be with his family after all

Is the only other Wotter Slytherin

Is a poet

When he lived in France he used to write many long letters to his family

Needs his time alone

Knew he wanted to be an author when he was 13

Published his first book with 19

Is the only person to publish a Harry Potter biography

Well at least the only authorised person

There is this one book written by Rita Skeeter, but that’s a different story

Lorcan and Lysander:

Identical twins

Lorcan is still older

Lorcan is a Ravenclaw like his mom

Lysander is a Hufflepuff like his dad

Newt always told them stories about his creatures when they were little

The two of them love to listen to their great-grandfather

They also love grandpa Xeno’s stories about all these weird magical beings no one ever saw

Are full of love and will offer help to anyone who needs it

The two of them, Lily and Hugo were always seen together at Hogwarts

When Louis came to Hogwarts he joined them

Do the Quidditch commentary in turns (sometimes together)

Hugo:

Is really shy

Will let Lily or Rose do the talking most of the time

Has probably read more books than his mother when she was his age

Doesn’t play Quidditch, but loves to box

Great at Transfiguration

Thinks a lot about becoming an Animagus

Even though he is one of the youngest Weasley’s he still acts like some big brother forwards younger students

Is a Perfect

Lily Luna:

Has Lily’s eyes (I don’t give a f*** about canon when it comes to this)

Luna is her godmother

Is Harry’s little princess especially when she was younger

Could do anything and he just couldn’t be mad at her

Puppy eyes

This scene  could happen at Potter’s

Loves her whole family, but if she had to pick a favourite it would be Teddy

He’s also the only one she will listen to

When she was young she was the cutest little girl you could imagine

Is the seeker of the Gryffindor team

After she joined the team it was all Potter and Weasley

From all three potter kids she is the one who is the closest to Harry’s personality

She really loved being like her dad until she was older

She didn’t like people comparing her to him

She didn’t like only being “The Chosen One’s daughter”

She just couldn’t stand that people were seeing her just as his daughter and nothing else

“The new Gryffindor seeker is Harry Potter’s daughter, just like her father.”

“The best student in DADA is Harry Potter’s daughter, just like her father.”

And even when she did something that had nothing to do with him she was still just his daughter

“The new member of the Gobstone club is Harry Potter’s daughter.”

She even just joined, because she wanted to be NOT like him

That was when her rebel phase began

At some point she even stopped to talk to Harry (even though she knew it wasn’t his fault) and it broke his heart

And this was worse than James or Fred or Dominique or anyone else

She learned to deal with it in her sixth year (people also started to see as an own person)

But the relationship between her and Harry was still tensed

Even after she started to talk to him again

In her last year she found an old motorbike

When she asked Harry why he had a motorbike, but never used it, he started to explain that is was Sirius

For some reason they bounded over this moment

Lily was the only person with who Harry talked about Sirius after the war

Like really talked, not just a little bit

He gave it to her after she graduated and it was the best present she ever got

The only thing that was left from her rebel phase was the fact that she still refused to use Expelliarmus even though she became an Auror

She only used it one time again, after some dark wizard tried to kill Harry and she was the only one to notice it fast enough and disarm him

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

You have been generous answering many prompts, including mine. If you have more headcannon about Remus teaching Harry, and having more moments where he’s struck by memories of James/ Lily, I’d love to read it :)

The classroom was in such chaos when he entered (a few minutes late, as usual), that none of his students noticed him come in. Above the noise and chatter, one drawling voice in particular caught Remus’s attention thanks to its sheer unpleasantness. 

‘For me to consider a woman she must have certain attributes,’ Malfoy was saying loudly, leaning back on his chair and smirking. ‘I won’t consider anything less. Slim, attractive, athletic, good at cooking-’

‘If she’s got all that going for her, why would she go out with you?’ Harry interrupted savagely. 

Remus had to pretend he hadn’t heard so he could turn away and busy himself in the stationery cupboard so no one could see him biting back laughter. 

It was so Lily. Not just the quick-wittedness of the put down, but the grimacing, exasperated, withering expression that had crossed his face as he said it. For a second he didn’t look like James at all - everything about the way he held his face was Lily, everything about his tone, everything about the bluntness. ‘God, she’s brutal,’ he remembered James saying admiringly one day.  

‘Oh, come back when you get some parents, Potter-’

‘Well I’ve been talking to your mum a lot lately-’

Deciding that the argument was getting a little too serious for him to continue to ignore, Remus grabbed an old textbook from the stationary cupboard and dumped it on his desk loudly, so that they would realise he was in the room.

This seemed to do the trick; the deep ‘oohs’ and sniggers of the rest of the class died away in an instant - Harry immediately adopted the sheepish expression James used to get sometimes, and Malfoy scowled and reluctantly planted all four legs of his chair on the floor. 

‘Thank you all for settling down so quickly,’ Remus told them pleasantly, ‘though I would appreciate coming into a quieter classroom in the first place. Now, if you would all gather around this tank…’ 

It was tempting to have a quiet word with Malfoy about respecting women, Remus thought, as the chairs scraped and the children eagerly gathered around the Grindylow. But then, he’d probably have to have a word with Harry, too, about the inappropriateness of ‘your mum’ jokes.

Well, he thought, as the girls squealed in exhilarated disgust at the grindylow’s slime, he certainly wasn’t going to admonish Harry. Not when his parents would have been so proud.