I Would Love To Lose Focus And Have A Consensual Workplace Relationship With Hugh Grant

I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong, and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

How to help Amazônia:

You can donate to SOS Amazônia which is one among the 100 NGOs selected as “The Largest NGOs in Brazil”.

> > > ( ENGLISH: //doe.sosamazonia.org.br/en ) < < <

And remember: - 1 USD is 4,04 reais. - 1 EUR is 4,47 reais. If you donate only $2,50 USD (10 reais) you’re helping a lot.

If you donate only $2,30 EUR (10 reais) you’re helping a lot. About people saying “the minimum value is $10”: Even if you’re not from Brazil you can donate in REAL instead of donating in USD or EUR via Paypal, so… YES, you can donate less than 10 dollars or euros. (Just don’t change the currency to USD or EUR, Paypal converts your dollars/euros to reais.)

Or you can help by signing the petitions too!

https://secure.avaaz.org/campaign/po/apocalipse_na_amazonia_40/?cdGYPob and https://www.change.org/p/impedir-o-desmatamento-e-explora%C3%A7%C3%A3o-da-amaz%C3%B4nia

It won’t take much of your time!

Translation:

Stop killing the Amazon!

To members of the Brazilian Congress, the government of Jair Bolsonaro and world leaders: As citizens around the world, we were horrified to see the rapid increase in the destruction of the Amazon rainforest in recent months. The fate of humanity is directly connected with the fate of the Amazon, and we ask that you do everything you can to protect the forest, including passing laws to protect public forests and ending illegal deforestation, and even increasing international pressure to prevent further destruction of the Amazon.

Please. Boost if possible, this is REALLY important.

“It took me 30 years, but I finally cracked the Eligius Three mission file. Turns out it wasn’t a mining mission. After sucking the Earth dry of oil, they went looking for another planet to tap. I set the coordinates a week ago. If I’m right, you should get there in… 75 years. I’m tempted to put myself in cryo to see it, but without Harper… Anyway, it’s in the Goldilocks zone of a binary star system. But that’s all I know. Eligius Three never radioed back or, if they did, it was after apocalypse one, so, no one heard it. Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope Jasper was wrong and we aren’t the problem. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.” - End Book one.

jem and tessa constantly thinking about and showing kit how much they love him added 20 years to my lifespan, cleared my skin, raised my grades, cured my anxiety, and gave me 20/20 vision

look

how

much

they

fucking

love

him

Kit is finally home.

After the Bridge: The Full Story (Jem/Tessa)

hi Cassie! idk if you’ve noticed, but I think you’ve invoked a small (and quite entertaining) url revolution. — hornyjem

I did. I am very proud. :)

This is the full story of After the Bridge, a tale for those who might have wondered what Tessa and Jem did after they met on Blackfriars Bridge in the epilogue of Clockwork Princess. If you’ve been waiting to read it until it was done, it is now done.

Those who do not like Tessa&Jem together or Jessa sexytimes probably should skip this. (You will not miss anything that will affect your understanding of later books.) Those who like that sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.

After the Bridge alternates POV between Jem and Tessa. This is Part Five, the full story. As this is one short story and not chaptered, each post will contain the whole story from the beginning up to the point where that part ends so that new readers or readers who don’t remember what happened won’t have to hunt down the previous post(s.)

AFTER THE BRIDGE : Now with (sexy) art by Cassandra Jean! 

Keep reading

Magnus birthday snippet!

Happy birthday, High Warlock! I’m currently in Southeast Asia so my sense of global time is a bit skewed, but I believe it to be Magnus’ birthday and will be snippeting accordingly! Hope you enjoy this scene from Lost Book of the White in which Magnus has a lot to contend with.

****

Magnus found his robe, blinked the sleep from his eyes, and went into the kitchen, where Jace Herondale was pouring coffee into Magnus’s “I’m Kind of a Big Deal” mug.

“Don’t you have your own coffeepot?” Magnus said blearily.

Jace, blond hair in its usual, preternaturally excellent state,flashed him a winning smile that Magnus was not prepared to deal with before he too had some coffee. “I hear you got stabbed by a weird Norwegian thorn,” Jace said. “Also, do you have any soy milk?Clary’s doing a whole soy milk thing now.”

“What are you doing in my apartment?” said Magnus.

“Well,” said Jace, now rummaging in the fridge, “I’d like to think I’d be welcome anytime, what with my close relationship with all three of you. But in this case, Alec called us. Said something about Shanghai.” ​“Who is us?” Magnus said suspiciously.

Jace waved his coffee cup around. “Us! You know. All of us.”

“All of you?” Magnus repeated. He held up a hand. “Wait. Stop. I am going to go put on something more substantial than a kimono. You are going to use your angelic powers to pour me as large a mug of black coffee as you can find, and I will be right back, and then we can talk about terrible concepts like who ‘all of you’ are, or what Alec told you about last night.”

When he returned to the living room, now suitably dressed, he found Alec, arms folded, looking long-suffering. In the far corner of the room, next to the ceiling, Max floated, tumbling in the air. He didn’t seem to be in peril—indeed, he was yelling “Wheeeeeeeeeee” and appeared to be having an excellent time. Under him, Clary Fairchild and Isabelle Lightwood attempted to nudge him back to the ground with a broom handle. With her free hand, Clary was waving a red braid, trying to get Max interested as though he were Chairman Meow. Max was upside-down and obviously feeling good about it. Everyone else was in t-shirts and jeans, but Isabelle, of course, had shown up in a fitted black sweater over a tiered velvet maxi skirt. She was one of the few people who could occasionally make Magnus feel underdressed.

Next Gen’s New Year’s Resolutions

Teddy: find a place near Uncle Harry’s, because he spoils him

Victoire: binge watch all the Disney movies in one night ( “That’s impossible, Vic.” “Go die in a hole, Scorpius.” )

Dominique: disarm Aunt Hermione in the family duels

Louis: eat an entire pizza in 3 minutes ( “Does the Weasley-Delacour family have any realistic resolutions?” “SHUT UP, SCORPIUS, I’M GONNA DO IT!” )

Molly: get better grades

Lucy: learn how to speak Punjabi with Molly and mum to hide stuff from her dad

Fred: drink nine bottles of firewhisky and not pass out ( “Fred, you’re not even of age.” “WATCH ME.” )

Roxanne: go viral on YouTube with a video of her “miraculously moving things with her mind” ( “Against the law, Roxy.” )

Rose: get better grades, become a prefect, learn how to speak Gobbledook, defeat at least two of Hogwarts’ Quidditch records, write an award-winning book, skip a few grades, beat Uncle Harry out of his Head Auror placement, singlehandedly join the wizarding and Muggle cultures together… ( “Dammit, Rose…” “I’m gonna do it, Scorpius. Watch your mouth, you’re gonna wanna stay on my good side.” )

Hugo: make the Quidditch team

James: get good enough grades to get into Auror training ( maybe even find out what his sexuality is ffs )

Albus: spend more time with his boyfriend ( “That’s sweet, Al.” “Also, learn how to make you less grumpy all the time.” “I’M NOT GRUMPY!” “Of course, Scorp.” )

Lily: jump while simultaneously doing a handstand on a broomstick. while it’s in the air.

Scorpius: find a new boyfriend (this one’s family is exhausting)

okay, well not that.

he really likes his.

crazy, unnecessarily large family and all.

Time for some queer book recommendations!!

The Falling In Love Montage - Ciara Smyth

Not My Problem - Ciara Smyth

Here The Whole Time - Vitor Martins

Cemetery Boys - Aiden Thomas

Some Girls Do - Jennifer Dugan

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

I Kissed Shara Wheeler - Casey McQuiston

Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating - Adiba Jaigirdar

Gender Queer: A Memoir - Maia Kobabe (graphic novel)

The Prince and the Dressmaker - Jen Wang (graphic novel)

On A Sunbeam - Tillie Walden (graphic novel)

The Black Flamingo - Dean Atta

Only On The Weekends - Dean Atta

Nimona - ND Stevenson (graphic novel)

If You Still Recognise Me - Cynthia So

Sasha Masha - Agnes Borinsky

The Tea Dragon Society - Katie O'Neill (graphic novel)

Darius the Great is Not Okay - Adib Khorram

Red White and Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston

The Passing Playbook - Isaac Fitzgerald

The Prom - Saundra Mitchell (watch the musical first!!)

I Think I Love You - Auriane Desombre

The Song Of Achilles - Madeline Miller

Felix Ever After - Kacen Callendar

I Was Born For This - Alice Oseman

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman

Solitaire - Alice Oseman

Heartstopper - Alice Oseman (graphic novel)

Loveless - Alice Oseman

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

This Is How You Lose the Time War - Amal El-Mohtar, Max Gladstone

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera

History is All You Left Me - Adam Silvera

Girls of Paper and Fire - Natasha Ngan

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong

Mooncakes - Suzanne Walker (graphic novel)

Simon Vs The Homosapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli

The Avant-Guards - Carly Usdin (graphic novel)

Fence - C.S. Pacat (graphic novel)

The Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater (book 3&4)

Feel free to add your own recommendations! I'll update the list as I read more LGBTQ+ books!!!

The Train

The last train out of Newcastle was almost empty. It rattled across the large bridges over the black water of the Tyne, and for the most part was quiet, just one or two people per carriage, snoozing in their seats or tapping away on laptops, ignoring the ping of the intercom and the Geordie-accented voice announcing the stops.

The exception to this was the very last carriage, where a large family was making a lot of noise indeed. Dressed head to toe in green and draped in scarves and flags and badges with words like 'Harpies rangers!' and 'These witches have talons!', they stretched across two table seats and the aisles behind too, the tables themselves laden with drinks and tubs of food bought last minute from the M&S in the station.

'-And then I can't believe you just openly told me it's rude to stare!' Albus was bursting out furiously at his father. The rest of the family was roaring with laughter, and Al was occasionally laughing too, though his face was as red as his mother's hair.

'It is rude to stare!' Harry replied, holding out his hands helplessly.

'I wasn't staring!'

'You WERE!' several people shouted back at him, pink faced with laughter.

Scorpius adopted a vacant, dreamy sort of expression, staring into the middle distance. 'H...ello,' he croaked, which only made the rest of the family laugh even more. Teddy's stomach ached from it, and he could see Lily wiping tears from her eyes.

'I didn't say it like that!'

'You DID!'

'I said it normally! A normal hello!'

'You absolutely did not, and you stared for so long - I have never seen you look more like your mother,' said Harry. 'I was transported back to my first visit to the Burrow.'

'Oh!' said Ginny, with mock crossness, and she leaned over the table to place a protective hand on her son's shoulder. 'Ignore them, Al, they don't know what it's like to meet your heroes-'

Albus rested his forehead on the table, between the tub of flapjacks and bottles of butterbeer, his shoulders shaking in despairing laughter. 'Mum, it's your fault, springing that on me... Can't believe I just stared at him... Why didn't you warn me he was their coach?'

'I thought it would be a nice surprise!' said Ginny. 'I thought you'd always wanted to meet Gonçalo Flores!'

'He did,' said Scorpius, 'but I bet he always imagined he'd be very suave and witty, not just... "H...ello...", didn't you, Al?'

'I hate you all, I hate Quidditch, I hate Gonçalo Flores-'

'No, you don't.'

'No, I don't,' admitted Albus, still hilariously red in the face. 'He was so nice about it... just makes it worse...'

'Al,' said James above the family's laughter. He was grinning evilly. 'Is he on your list, Al?'

'Oh my God, shut up-'

'He is!' said James gleefully, as amused 'ooh's' filled the carriage and Scorpius nodded enthusiastically, looking positively elated. 'He is on your list!'

'You know, I was worried for about half a second when I saw him,' said Scorpius. 'But fair's fair, you gave it your best shot, Al, I'm happy for him to stay on the list.'

'What list?' asked Harry, frowning. 'I don't get it.'

'Oh, sweetheart, you're so innocent,' said Ginny sympathetically, leaning back to squeeze Harry's knee. 'You're probably on loads of lists.'

'What lists?' he asked, apparently entirely flummoxed. 'What for?'

'No one tell him,' said Teddy quickly. 'No one explain.'

'Is it a list of people to kill? If someone's on your list you want to kill them?'

'Oh my God, Dad, get more mind healing,' said Lily, which made Ted snort with laughter.

'Al definitely doesn't want to kill Gonçalo Flores...' said James, with a grin that looked eerily like Uncle George.

'Stop it; I don't want to discuss this with my parents-' hissed Al.

'Who else is on your list?' asked Ginny. She looked at Scorpius. 'Who else is on it?'

'Well...'

‘You know who’s on mine?’ said Rowan, who seemed drunker than Ted had ever seen him, ‘Cerys Twycross. That actress from that play we saw last year.’

Lily snorted. ‘In your dreams, love.’

‘Well, yes, precisely,’ said Rowan, which earned him a shriek of laughter from Ginny.

‘You know what,’ said Scorpius, with a brief smirk at Lily. ‘I could arrange that for you. I know a guy who knows her.’

‘Shut up!’ said Lily, sitting up so fast in her seat that the pack of crisps in her lap went flying. ‘You don’t, you’re winding me up, you’re as bad as James sometimes.’

‘Tell me more,’ said Rowan, leaning forward.

‘Yeah, good luck, Ro…’

'Hazel,' said Harry, leaning across the aisle.

'No,' she said at once, shaking her head frantically. The others laughed.

'What does it mean?' he asked. 'You'll tell me.'

'Don't tell him, Haze!'

'I - ask your son-' she babbled.

'Tell me, I'm your boss-'

'Not any more...'

'I'm good friends with your boss, come on-'

'Hazel, don-'

'It's a list of people you're allowed to sleep with,' she blurted out, and then her cheeks flushed pink too.

'Ahh,' said Harry, leaning back. He turned to Ginny with a grin that Teddy did not like at all. 'Like our agreement about Madeleine Marlborough?'

'I beg your pardon?' spluttered James, as Al and Lily both howled in revulsion and the others burst into renewed laughter.

'The Australian singer.'

'Yes, I know who she is, I wish I didn't.'

'Horrible,' Teddy said. 'She's my age. You're both horrible. Who - no I don't want to know.'

'It's not serious,' Harry assured them.

'Excuse me, speak for yourself,' said Ginny.

'Stop!' pleaded Albus, burying his face in his hands. 'The pair of you... I am about to leap off this train.'

'This is terrible,' James agreed. 'This is... deeply traumatising.'

'It's all right for you,' said Ted. 'You'll forget it in about five minutes.'

'Well, that's five minutes too long.'

'You all need to toughen up,' said Harry with a shrug. 'Scorpius, Rowan and Hazel don't mind.' Indeed, they were all spluttering with laughter, Hazel and Rowan exchanging shocked but amused glances.

'They're not related to you!'

'And anyway, sadly I can't imagine we'll ever meet her, our concert days are over and I don’t think we run in the same circles.'

'I think this whole experience demonstrates that just because someone is on your list, doesn't mean that you'll actually enjoy meeting them,' said Albus flatly.

'Oh, Ally, you poor thing, no wonder you were so star-struck,' said Ginny. 'You should have told me he was on your list-'

'GOD-!'

'Back in the day, when-'

'Yes - we know - you met Dad and you couldn't speak in front of him, but you were a little girl, I'm a fully grown man-'

'So's Gonçalo Flores,' said Scorpius, with an exaggerated wink.

Albus screamed into the tub of brownie bites.

The shrieks of laughter and jeers continued as the train snaked through the darkness, swaying slightly as it turned corners. Teddy liked travelling this way; they had known that several of them would be too drunk to apparate after the match, and the Knight Bus and Portkey points would likely be too full of journalists and people staring to be worth it. But Teddy liked the slowness of muggle transport, he liked the conversations that arose from lack of anything else to do, the way that they were cramped in together. He blew across the top of his butterbeer bottle to make the funny hooting noise before remembering his young daughters were not there with him, but at home with Vic, but Lily laughed and seemed to appreciate it anyway.

'If I get an emptier one,' she said, 'and someone else gets another - we should try and make the theme tune to the Bowmans.'

'Ooh, yes, let me help,' said Ginny, seizing a bottle. 'Hazel, you take this one - if we get good enough, we can save some money on the wedding band.'

'Did we book a band?' James blurted out suddenly, and he seized his notebook and began rifling through the pages. 'Did we-?'

'Yes,' said Hazel soothingly. 'It's all arranged.'

'Which one, I don't remember-'

'It's all right,' said Harry patiently, for James was starting to look a little frantic. 'No one expects you to remember everything involved in planning a wedding.'

'OK, I've found it - I wrote here that I booked them - but I don't remember doing it-'

Teddy exchanged a dark glance with Ginny, who picked up a tub of caramelized peanuts and shook them at James in offering. ‘That’s what you write things down for, isn’t it? Grab a handful of these before they’re all gone, I can’t stop picking at them.’

He must have known he was being distracted, for he gave her an irritable sort of look, but he did take a handful and returned to looking through his notebook in a much calmer sort of way.

‘Is your list in there?’ Ted asked, nodding at the full pages. ‘So you don’t forget?’

James’s brown eyes flicked up at him a narrowed slightly. ‘No,’ he said firmly.

‘You said that pretty quickly,’ said Al.

‘Almost too quickly.’

‘I don’t have a list,’ said James. ‘I’m not a pervert like the rest of you.’

‘Everyone’s got a list, Jim,’ said Scorpius. ‘Even if they don’t realise.’

‘Your father and I aren’t perverts!’ exclaimed Ginny.

‘You are, and I won’t hear any more about it-’

‘Hazel -’ began Harry, ‘obviously you both have lists, don’t you? I’m your boss-’

‘I am absolutely not talking to you about it,’ said Hazel.

There was a great, rhythmic ‘ooh’ from the amused family, and James grinned broadly at her, but Harry was also grinning, unfazed and unoffended. ‘So there is a list, then?’

There was another round of whooping, howling laughter, Rowan clapping his hands in delight. ‘He’s got you there!’

Hazel was laughing, her head in her hands, but James, still amused, was leaping to her defence. ‘Don’t twist her words - thank God you’re not an auror now, that wouldn’t hold up in court, would it? Don’t-’

‘He’s so defensive - I bet it’s because their lists are filthy!’ insisted Al.

‘Absolutely not, there’s no list!’

The train began to rattle and sway even more, slipping between towering concrete covered in graffiti. The tannoy chimed and the Geordie accent from before announced that they would soon be arriving into Kings Cross.

‘Excellent,’ said Harry happily, although Teddy felt oddly glum that their journey had come to an end.

They staggered off the train together into the almost empty station, still bedecked in green, still laughing and shouting loudly at one another, their voices echoing off the grubby white tiles. Harry, though Lily had not permitted him to drink much at all, threw open his arms and looked up at the great glass ceiling as he walked. ‘Isn’t it good to be back here, kids?’ he called loudly. Then he span and pointed at Teddy. ‘A few more years and you’ll be here every September again too!’

Ted grinned at him, though the prospect of Dora and Celeste starting school mildly terrified him. He kept walking, and as he reached Harry, his godfather slung his arm around his shoulders. ‘Watch out,’ he told Ted, ‘it goes by in a flash.’

‘Already is.’

‘Bring the girls next time, it was lovely having everyone together. They’d love it - you know it’s no problem getting tickets.’

‘I told you - it’s well past their bed time.’

‘Ah, who cares - the odd late night never hurt anyone.’

‘Easy to say when you don’t have to deal with them the next day!’ said Ted, laughing.

The ticket gates were wide open; the family walked through without reaching into their pockets for the little orange cards. ‘Right,’ Ginny was saying briskly, ‘who’s coming to Ron and Hermione’s with us? Al and Scorpius - are you still going with Ted to Grimmauld Place? Or - no, Lily, was that you two?’

But Lily was ignoring her, pulling urgently on Rowan’s hand and gesturing frantically at the others. ‘Hurry - the night tube isn’t running tonight!’

‘Ah, we’ll get a cab-’

‘Thank you,’ said Harry’s voice, much quieter now. Ted stopped watching the rest of the family chaotically argue over getting the tube or taxis, and looked at Harry. He was watching his son and Hazel; James was pointing at the barrier between platform’s nine and ten, recounting some story. ‘For joking about it all with him, for keeping it light.’

‘Of course,’ said Ted. ‘Wasn’t that what we all agreed?’

‘Yes, but I know it isn’t easy, but you always find the right words.’

‘Sort of my job,’ mumbled Ted awkwardly. ‘He seems to be doing so much better though, so it is getting easier, isn’t it?’

‘It is. It’ll be a good wedding.’

‘TED!’ Lily bellowed. ‘Come ON! We’re going back to yours!’

‘Chill out!’ he shouted back to her, and then looked once more at Harry with great exasperation. ‘What’s she like?’

Harry smiled, though it seemed slightly strained. ‘I mean it. Thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me for looking after my brother.’

Harry hugged him, one hand gripping at the silky Harpies flag draped round Ted’s shoulders, the other at the back of his head in his emerald green hair. ‘Good luck with writing the speech,’ he said. ‘Send my love to Vic and the girls.’

‘Will do. See you Sunday.’

They broke apart. ‘Jim! Hazel!’ Harry called across the wide expanse of the station. ‘Let’s go, if we’re too late back Hermione’ll tell us off.’

Beneath the great glass ceiling of Kings Cross, the family hugged, and made their hasty, happy farewells.