Runaway

catching fire, chapter three:

reading this like ohhhhhh don’t worry katniss you’ll get to go swimming soon enough

somehow i survived finals week and moving out……… still up in the air if i have any brain cells left and the next few days will not feel real but hey now i can drown myself in aftg all summer 🤭

neil josten definitely picks at his scabs. and it annoys aaron to no end. imagine that aaron just starts swatting at his hands whenever he tries to pick at scabs because he can’t deal with neil having them for any longer. and andrew just lets him because he knows it’s better if neil actually lets his injuries heal and honestly, it’s funny

has anyone ever said that this is a neil abram josten song…….

cause i mean look

And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hand / Is in me, it’s in me in my veins

i don’t think these lines even need explaining. it’s him. it’s him and mary and nathan

So, touch my skin and tell me where you’ve been

to me, this feels like neil and andrew and their truths game. neil’s need to hear andrew’s past and to know his truth and the way their game makes him feel real

You showed me how to keep myself from burning out

and

You showed me how to hold my skin

neil learning to confront his truth and his lies and transform them into something real. andrew helped him figure out how to become something more than his lies and how to stand as himself instead of being a pile of lies that burns out and replaces itself with another fictitious person

i love fucking with men while i’m out and drunk. like the fuck you doing trying to pick me up? i will wave them off and if they persist, i will stare them down until they fuck off. and if they don’t fuck off, i would punch them. it hasn’t gotten to that point but like if you can’t read my face when im glaring af you, that’s on you.

and today, we went to a bodega afterwards and i was asking men what sport they played and making fun of all their answers, it was so funny 10/10 recommend

My canon: Neil is super weird, but in a way people don't expect and it catches them unaware. He will have a perfectly normal conversation with you and then you realise he doesn't ignore the first slice of bread of the loaf, uses it right after opening it to make a sandwich. He doesn't have a set way of replacing the toilet paper roll. He does sock-shoe-sock-shoe. He takes the peel of the banana off completely before eating it on the go. He unplugs the laptop yanking on the cable not the plug. He eats kiwis with the skin on like they're apples. He eats dry cereal then drinks a glass of milk.

Neil Josten is like an alien that has managed to blend in quite well with the humans but sometimes he does something that reminds you he's a martian

night practice

One of many third book makeouts 🫡

having autism is so annoying sometimes because tell me why i have not been able to enjoy listening to music all weekend

my brain wants the familiarity of songs i know backwards and forwards but nothing in my liked songs will satisfy the itch because they’re not new but i cannot listen to a new song because i don’t yet know it but i can never know it without listening to it ughhhhhh

Still expecting Jeremy Knox to have some "How to get away from your toxic/rich/influential/exy hating family" classes,by the expert herself : Allison Reynolds