I Keep Thinking My Sunsent-time Lighting Is Getting Repetitive, But Then I Do Pieces Like These That

just finished season 2 ep. 8 of hannibal and tell me why i feel like i just watched porn……. the absolute tension between will and hannibal is fucking insane. they need to like carnally destroy each other through sex i’m sorry it’s true

night practice

has anyone ever said that this is a neil abram josten song…….

cause i mean look

And the blood of the man who killed my mother with his hand / Is in me, it’s in me in my veins

i don’t think these lines even need explaining. it’s him. it’s him and mary and nathan

So, touch my skin and tell me where you’ve been

to me, this feels like neil and andrew and their truths game. neil’s need to hear andrew’s past and to know his truth and the way their game makes him feel real

You showed me how to keep myself from burning out

and

You showed me how to hold my skin

neil learning to confront his truth and his lies and transform them into something real. andrew helped him figure out how to become something more than his lies and how to stand as himself instead of being a pile of lies that burns out and replaces itself with another fictitious person

really need bishop or sheldon or who tf ever to swing by during lunch one day and be all handsy with jeremy because I need to see the vein that pops out of jean’s neck and the way his gray eyes turn to hard slate and his hands twitch with lethal intent and how cat or cody or whichever poor unfortunate soul has to somehow stop this 6’2” angry frenchman from committing murder in broad daylight, mhmm

Listen, you know why Andrew loves Neil? Why Neil Abram Josten was the one Andrew would allow into his inner space, to allow growing roots where Andrew keeps the remaining fragments of his heart?

Because hardly anyone respects Andrew's boundaries. Renee does. Bee does. Wymack does. Andrew respects his own boundaries to the point of enforcing them at knife point.

But Neil? Neil Abram Josten?

He views Andrew's boundaries as sacred.

Renee, Bee, and Wymack would view crossing Andrew's boundaries as disrespectful at best and a violation at worst. They earned his trust that way.

But NEIL???

Neil views crossing Andrew's boundaries as a fucking sin. As blasphemous. A devoted disciple would sooner spit in their God's face than Neil ever conceiving of crossing Andrew's boundaries.

Some people would look at you erecting brick walls covered in barbed wire and would start looking for a good crack to aim a sledgehammer. Some people would watch you lock a door and try knocking, just once, to see if you'll open it for them. And some people would watch you draw a line in the sand and never dream of stepping over it.

Neil parked his ass on the other side of Andrew's barbed wired multi-layered brick wall surrounding his concrete bunker and stayed there, running his mouth. And when Andrew revealed the hidden door, Neil smiled, stayed put, and kept talking.

Andrew didn't fall for Neil because Neil wouldn't come in.

He fell because Neil waited for Andrew to come out, waited for Andrew to extend his hand, and waited for Andrew to lead him inside by his own volition.

And that's why Neil was the one who earned Andrew's "Stay".

am i the only one who thinks that walsh and abbot act like exes on the pitt

spring semester so horrible what do u mean its 75 out and im sposed to sit here and write this 12 page paper. i should be in the woods.

An AU where the twinyards don’t meet until even mater in life— as in after college where everything from Andrew’s end goes almost the same minus Aaron and Nicky being in his life. He still makes it Palmetto, still meets Kevin and Neil and goes pro. Aaron on the other hand becomes a nurse (I have my reasons for this) never goes to Palmetto, and they only meet because one injured Neil Josten ends up on his unit. Aaron is about at his wits end because Pro Exy player Neil Josten (whoever that is because Aaron doesn’t follow Exy), who is on a lot of pain meds, keeps calling him Andrew and Aaron is about 5 seconds away from making the on-call resident very upset by requesting another CT scan of Josten’s head because surely his brain is scrambled. There’s nothing more that Aaron wants than to go home and fall face first into bed which is of course when his charge nurse walks up to him with a sheepish look, nearly begging him to stay another 4 hours because his relief’s kid is apparently sick and she can’t come in until 11am, which makes Aaron want to die so naturally he agrees, which means another 4 hours of Neil Josten at the end of his shift hooray.

And so of course Neil Josten calls him “Andrew” once more while Aaron is checking his IV (note: it’s now visiting hours), and Aaron, exhausted and cranky and just had to dodge a bedpan being thrown at his head, feels his eye twitch violently as he politely (read: thru clenched teeth) reminds Pro Exy Player Neil Josten once again that he is not Andrew—

Which is when another voice pipes up from the doorway, fresh scent of coffee in the air that nearly has Aaron salivating, who says “correct, you are not Andrew. I am.”

And Aaron turns around to see his mirror image standing in the doorway.

anyone else get pre-concert anxiety cause oh my goddddd 😭 like im so excited but also Travel™️ and Timing™️ are making me so anxious for no. reason. that i have a knot in my chest ughhhhhh

but whatever, can’t wait to go see lucy dacus sing about her gf with one of my fellow lesbian friends so i suppose i can just ignore it

sorry to say but i desperately need an over 100,000 word slow burn of abbot and robby falling in love with them being idiots, them struggling to deal with their trauma, robby navigating his relationship with his religion, abbot having chronic pain, tragic backstory, nonlinear healing, etc etc etc

they are so so fractured and broken and i need them to be in love and messily figuring out how to heal with each other