Ppl Who Had Time For Romance In High School We Are So Different. I Was Busy Fighting For My Life In My

Honestly my only purpose is spending money and being cute ^_^ I won't even be a good housewife... Just internet princess (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I csnttakrotanymirs I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I snt take it anymore I can’t take it snymore (I say as I proceed to take it)

A lot of folks in the notes are saying how this is social anxiety. Lol whatever op was describing is not social anxiety.

They don't like being perceived. Idk how hard that is to understand.

For me, social anxiety is about freaking out over social interactions. Of course, being perceived and judged is a part of it but it isn't the main thing ykwim?

But its different for everyone let's all remember that.

Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.

Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?

Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.

Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?

Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?

Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?

Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out

People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?

Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.

It's all a defence mechanism

GUESS WHAT? IT'S TIME FOR A WEIRD METAPHOR TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL!!!

The only way I can explain it is this:

I'm in a cage. I built it, I put myself here (perhaps through the coaxing of others, but I was the one to step in). I know it like the back of my hand. Like my own street. I was the one who locked myself in and only I have the key to leave. It's in my hand.

It was kinda nice at first. To sit alone and bathe in my own misery, watching people pass by and never come towards the door. But now I hate it.

"So?" You ask, "why don't you just unlock the door and leave? The option is there."

I can't.

I tremble towards the lock, sometimes I'll even unlock it. But the door stays closed. I will lock it again. And again. And again. And again. And then I'll scurry back to the corner of the cage like a frightened dog, tail in-between my legs.

And nobody cares if I came out. They don't visit. They don't acknowledge or ask why. They won't even spare a glance. I'll be the same person I always was. And the cage will still lie in wait for the next time. The only person who encourages me to leave is a woman who sees many cages, she even unlocked the door from her side and held it open for me. But I remain here.

If I go, I'll be in a world that I watched develop from my corner of my cage, but never really had a part in. Especially before. Especially now. Things I won't understand and people who won't want me. And I'll miss it.

So, I'll just stay here. Until I rot. Perhaps leaving the door open, but always never stepping out.

How idolising jirai blogs looks like

All hail the angel bat (I am going to make an angel bat oc just you wait)

The way Tomoko demonizes her classmates for having more active social lives than her is actually so relatable it's not even funny. Same thing with how she simultaneously worships and resents pretty, popular girls! She just like me frfr.

༺｡° .ᘛ𓆩♡𓆪ᘚ. °｡༻

imagining a day i don't imagine a different life so hard i hurt my own feelings

reblog to give the person you reblogged it from a little heart lollipop

Vent art