Chaotictoasterstrudel - Call Me Mooshabara

Batfam headcanon

The batfam has movie night every Sunday (they actually do it in the afternoon) but it has slowly become a book-based-movies-knowledge-off between Jason and Damian that they pretend is a fight but everyone knows that's just how they bond.

It was fun at the beginning for the rest of the bat family to watch but after a while it got annoying because, while the rest of the family is trying to watch the movie, Damian and Jason are booknerding out.

Jason puts Lord of the rings: the fellowship of the rings (extended addition) on because for the last 3 movie "nights" Cass, Dick, and Bruce have coordinated with each other to watch the 3 Hobbit movies.

Damian: "why are they not mentioning that it is also Frodo's birthday? And why did they make it so that Gandalf and Frodo don't know about the ring, they were in on the prank"

Jason: "Where are the dwarves that Bilbo was traveling with? There were supposed to be dwarves. The guy is 111, he needs them at this point"

Damian: "isn't Legolas supposed to have dark hair, why is he blonde?"

(Tim in the background: " leave Legolas out of this discussion, he's a hot elf that's all that matters")

This goes on for two movie "nights" and the next movie "night" its Duke's turn to pick.

Duke picks Little woman knowing full well that Damian and Jason will not talk during the movie and also because he likes to watch Jason pretend that he's not crying.

Afterwards Jason rereads the little woman book.

(no hate to the LoTR movies or Legolas I freaking love both but I do wish that they made it so Gandalf was in on the prank like in the books so that I could see Bilbo and him laughing at the other Hobbits because that would have been freaking hilarious but I understand why they didn't and love the movies anyway)

LoTR (movies) HC

Legolas is the oldest of the group but very young by elf standards. Like he's almost 3,000 in the movies but that means he's like the equivalent of like a 16/17 year old

Like in Riverdale after Legolas joins the fellowship other elves are coming up to him and asking him if he's sure he wants to go and kind of fussing over him a bit and that happens to him every time they are with other elves because he's seen as really young compared to them and he's also a prince and his dad is scary (and hot but that's beside the point)

Legolas, in rebellious teen fashion, doesn't like all the fussing and wants to do stuff himself.

The rest of the fellowship teases him about it.

Batman x the Barbie movie

But Jason is Barbie in this instance and goes to the real world, gets picked up by DC, and finds out that his death was a poll and a bunch of people called in so that he would die.

The first time the chain went to Twilights era

My mom got me a Stanley cup so she can get me to drink more water everyday instead of like 3 cups a week (I'm dehydrated, it's okay, it's a lifestyle, my kidneys are going to hate me in the future anyway) but within, I kid you not, 3 days of having it I have broken it already. Stanley cups are not ADHD proof it seems.

ADHD 1

Stanley 0

I just watched TMNT 2012 and I got to the end of the episode with April's "mom" and they never apologized to Mikey.

They should have apologized

I just found out about something called Gotham steel. It's a kitchen set and my GOD the batman fan in me was like: bruce totally made that for Alfred for fathers day or Alfred's birthday. Bruce one day saw Alfred cleaning his pots and pans and was like "welp now it's time to start making kitchen stuff" and the next day at Wayne Enterprises he stopped like 10 different projects and called a meeting then came in late to the meeting and said "we make kitchen stuff now" then immediately left then came back in and said "make sure the outside is black" an leaves again.

Months later Bruce walks into the kitchen and puts the kitchen stuff on the island and said "happy birthday" gave Alfred a hug and left.

I was talking with a few friends and I was showing my “hear me out” list that isn’t actually a hear me out list (it’s more of a I would love to give you a hug and a cookie and listen to you talk about your problems for hours list) and as I was explaining that I wouldn’t really like to be with these people in any way but friendly, a teacher ended up overhearing the conversation and proceeded to tell me that I have a savior complex.

After taking some time to really think about it and analyze myself,

I’m sad to report that I have a savior complex.

I was just thinking of Damian Wayne and this idea just popped in my head.

The Damian we have in the comics is a clone.

Not to crazy a theory because there are a bunch of clones of Damian but I don’t mean it in that way.

In an older comic before Damian was introduced to the public a baby named Damian was adopted by a family and we never found out what happened to him and assumed that he probably was retconed (and maybe he was).

It was said that Damian was artificially aged up but wouldn’t Bruce know if he had been with Talia in that way 7 years ago and somehow has a 10 year old kid and someone could say that he may know about the artificial aging up because of Heretic but I think he would make some what of a big deal out of it (he’s Bruce!!!).

So thinking that Bruce thought that Talia lied to him for ten years about Damian and doesn’t know that Damian was artificially aged up then he wouldn’t have much to question if Damian was a clone and the only comparison he would have to tell if Damian was a clone would be Heretic and Bruce wouldn’t touching him with a twelve foot pole. 

So my theory is that Talia after fully realizing that she was going to be having a baby with her beloved may have also realized that she doesn’t want to put her child through what she had to go through or have her child be apart of Batman’s endless crusade against crime. So she lies to Bruce and has original Baby Dami and puts him up for adoption to a very kind family that she trust to take care of her baby and will allow him to have a normal life and begins making clones with original baby Dami’s dna and then when she get out Damian she artificially ages him up and begins his training and I feel like she still cares about the clones because they are her sons but she feels less guilty about training one because she made him for that exact purpose and along the way did grow to care for the clone of her son/the Damian we all know but still keeps her distance emotionally.

So I just think that somewhere out in the world there is a Damian that is just an average kid and living the life of an everyday person with his two adopted parents living happily ever after. And that thought makes me happy