Believe In Yourself. Under-confidence Leads To A Self-fulfilling Prophecy That You Are Not Good Enough
Believe in yourself. Under-confidence leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy that you are not good enough for your work.
Dr. Roopleen
More Posts from Charlies-day-off and Others
Literally just romanticize your own life. What’s stopping you. Who will care. Commit to enjoying things.
101 self care ideas for when it all gets too much
1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.
2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out.
3. Call in sick. Take comp time if you can. Take a mental health day.
4. Say no to extra obligations, chores, or anything that pulls on your precious self-care time.
5. Book a session (or more!) with your therapist.
6. Dial down your expectations of yourself at this time. When you’re going through life’s tough times, I invite you to soften your expectations of yourself and others.
7. Tuck yourself into bed early with a good book and clean sheets.
8. Watch a comforting/silly/funny/lighthearted TV show or movie.
9. Reread your favorite picture and chapter books from childhood.
10. Ask for some love and tenderness from your friends on social media. Let them comment on your post and remind you that you’re loved.
11. Look at some some really gorgeous pieces of art.
12. Watch Youtube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and the adorable kids she has on her show.
13. Look at faith-in-humanity-restoring lists from Buzzfeed.
14. Ask for help. From whoever you need it – your boss, your doctor, your partner, your therapist, your mom. Let people know you need some help.
15. Wrap yourself up in a cozy fleece blanket and sip a cup of hot tea.
16. Breathe. Deeply. Slowly. Four counts in. Six counts out.
17. Hydrate. Have you had enough water today?
18. Eat. Have you eaten something healthy and nourishing today?
19. Sleep. Have you slept 7-9 hours? Is it time for some rest?
20. Shower. Then dry your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good.
21. Go outside and be in the sunshine.
22. Move your body gently in ways that feel good. Maybe aim for 30 minutes. Or 10 if 30 feels like too much.
23. Read a story (or stories) of people who overcame adversity or maybe dealt with mental illness, too. (I personally admire JK Rowling’s story.)
24. Go to a 12-Step meeting. Or any group meeting where support is offered. Check out church listings, hospital listings, school listings for examples.
25. If you suspect something may be physiologically off with you, go see your doctor and/or psychiatrist and talk to them. Medication might help you at this time and they can assist you in assessing this.
26. Take a long, hot bath, light a candle and pamper yourself.
27. Read these inspirational quotes.
28. Cuddle someone or something. Your partner. A pillow. Your friend’s dog.
29. Read past emails/postcards/letters etc. from friends and family reminding you of happier times.
30. Knit. Sculpt. Bake. Engage your hands.
31. Exhaust yourself physically – running, yoga, swimming, whatever helps you feel fatigued.
32. Write it out. Free form in a journal or a Google doc. Get it all out and vent.
33. Create a plan if you’re feeling overwhelmed. List out what you need to do next to tackle and address whatever you’re facing. Chunk it down into manageable and understandable pieces.
34. Remember: You only have to get through the next five minutes. Then the next five. And so on.
35. Take five minutes to meditate.
36. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’ll Be OK.
37. Write out a list of 25 Examples of Things You’ve Overcome or Accomplished.
38. Write out a list of 25 Reasons Why You’re a Good, Lovable Person.
39. Write out a list of 25 Things That Make Your Life Beautiful.
40. Sniff some scents that bring you joy or remind you of happier times.
41. Ask for support from friends and family via text if voice-to-voice contact feels like too much. Ask them to check in with you via text daily/weekly. Whatever you need.
42. Lay down on the ground. Let the earth/floor hold you. You don’t have to hold it all on your own.
43. Clean up a corner of a room of your house. Sometimes tidying up can help calm our minds.
44. Ask yourself: What’s my next most immediate priority? Do that. Then ask the question again.
45. Read some poetry. Rumi, Hafiz, Mary Oliver are all excellent.
46. Take a tech break. Delete or deactivate social media if it feels too triggering right now.
47. Or maybe get on tech. If you’ve been isolating maybe even interacting with friends and family online might feel good.
48. Go out in public and be around others. You don’t have to engage. But maybe go sit in a coffee shop or on a bench at a museum and soak up the humanity around you.
49. Or if you’re feeling too saturated with contact, go home. Cancel plans and tend to the introverted parts of yourself.
50. Ask friends and family to remind you that things will be OK and that what you’re feeling is temporary.
51. Put up some Christmas lights in your bedroom. They often make things more magical.
52. Spend a little money and treat yourself to some self-care and comfort. Maybe take a taxi versus the bus. Buy your lunch instead of forcing yourself to pack it. Buy some flowers that delight you.
53. Make art. Scribble with crayons. Splash some watercolors. Paint a rock. Whatever. Just create something.
54. Go wander around outside in your neighborhood and take a look at all the lovely houses and the way people decorate their gardens. Delight in the diversity of design.
55. Go visit or volunteer at your local animal rescue. Pet some animals.
56. Look at photos of people you love. Set them as the wallpaper of your phone or laptop.
57. Create and listen to a playlist of songs that remind you of happier times.
58. Read some spiritual literature.
59. Scream, pound pillows, tear up paper, shake your body to move the energy out.
60. Eat your favorite, most comforting foods.
61. Watch old Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood videos online.
62. Turn off the lights, sit down, stare into space and do absolutely nothing.
63. Pick one or two things that feel like progress and do them. Make your bed. Put away the dishes. Return an email.
64. Go to a church or spiritual community service. Sit among others and absorb any guidance or grace that feels good to you.
65. Allow yourself to fantasize about what you’re hoping or longing for. There are clues and energy in your reveries and daydreams that are worth paying attention to.
66. Watch Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response videos to help you calm down and fall asleep at night.
67. Listen to monks chanting, singing Tibetan bowls or nature sounds to help soothe you.
68. Color in some adult coloring books.
69. Revisit an old hobby. Even if it feels a little forced, try your hand at things you used to enjoy and see what comes up for you.
70. Go to the ocean. Soak up the negative ions.
71. Go to the mountains. Absorb the strength and security of them.
72. Go to the forest. Drink in the shelter, life and sacredness of the trees.
73. Put down the personal help books and pick up some good old fashioned fiction.
74. Remember: Your only job right now is to put one foot in front of the other.
75. Allow and feel and express your feelings – all of them! – safely and appropriately.Seek out help if you need support in this.
76. Listen to sad songs or watch sad movies if you need a good cry.
77. Dance around wildly to your favorite, most cheesy songs from your high school years.
78. Put your hands in dirt. If you have a garden, go garden. If you have some indoor plants, tend to them. If you don’t have plants or a garden, go outside. Go to a local nursery and touch and smell all the gorgeous plants.
79. If you want to stay in bed all day watching Netflix, do it. Indulge.
80. Watch or listen to some comedy shows or goofy podcasts.
81. Look for and Google up examples of people who have gone through and made it through what you’re currently facing. Seek out models of inspiration.
82. Get expert help with whatever you need. Whether that’s through therapy, psychiatry, a lawyer, clergy, let those trained to support you do it.
83. Educate yourself about what you’re going through. Learn about what you’re facing, what you can expect to feel, and how you can support yourself in this place.
84. Establish a routine and stick to it. Routines can bring so much comfort and grounding in times of life that feel chaotic or out of control.
85. Do some hardcore nesting and make your home or bedroom as cozy and beautiful and comforting as possible.
86. Get up early and watch a sunrise.
87. Go outside and set up a chair and watch the sunset.
88. Make your own list of self-soothing activities that engage all five of your senses.
89. Develop a supportive morning ritual for yourself.
90. Develop a relaxing evening ritual for yourself.
91. Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through. Check out the listings at local hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities to see what’s out there.
92. Volunteer at a local shelter or hospital or nursing home. Practice being of service to others who may also be going through a tough time.
93. Accompany a friend or family member to something. Even if it’s just keeping them company while they run errands, sometimes this kind of contact can feel like good self-care.
94. Take your dog for a walk. Or borrow a friend’s dog and take them for a walk.
95. Challenge your negative thinking.
96. Practice grounding, relaxation techniques.
97. Do something spontaneous. Walk or drive a different way to work. Order something new off the menu.Listen to a Spotify playlist of new songs.
98. Work with your doctor, naturopath or nutritionist to develop a physical exercise plan and food plan that will be supportive to whatever you’re facing right now.
99. Pray. Meditate. Write a letter to God/The Universe/Source/Your Higher Self, whatever you believe in.
100. As much as you can, please try and trust the process.
101. Finally, please remember, what you’re going through right now is temporary. It may not feel like that from inside the tough time you’re in, but this too shall pass and you will feel different again someday. If you can’t have faith in that, let me hold the hope for you
13.4.20
Y’all know I only post original content on here unless I feel like it’s important to share. Take it in ✨
The “with or without you i’m going to fucking make it, so you better watch out” squad
Pisces (lowkey), SCORPIO, LEO, ARIES, SAGITTARIUS, TAURUS, VIRGO, CAPRICORN, Aquarius (lowkey)
GUIDE TO:
FIX YOUR SLEEPING SCHEDULE (1-2 months)
Try to wake up earlier every day. Like 5 - 10 min earlier than the day before. Until you wake up any time before 8am or so…
If you struggle with waking up & snooze button is you bff:
Put your alarm clock as far away from the bed as possible.
Drink a glass of water right after you wake up.
Pour another glass of water on yourself right after you wake up.
Prepare some coffee the night before, leave it by your bedside, drink it after you wake up.
Have your blinds/curtains open, so that it’s bright after you wake up.
Try to go to bed 5-10 min earlier than the night before.
Track how many hours of sleep you’re getting. Aim to get at least 7h per day or 49h per week.
Increase your sleeping hours incrementally. Aim to get at least 1h of sleep more than the previous week. For example, if this week you slept for 41hrs, aim to get an extra hour of sleep next week, so it’s 42h.Once you get enough hours of sleep and wake up early-ish.
Try to keep your sleeping schedule consistent. It is really important to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Even if it’s weekend. Or even if that means, you getting less than 7hrs of sleep that day. I’d say waking up at the same time everyday is the most important step, which will help you the most with fixing your sleeping schedule.
START EATING HEALTHY (1-2 months)
This step really depends from person to person, but firstly I suggest you take some blood tests to see if you have any deficiencies, etc. Especially, if you struggle with cravings.
Try intermittent fasting, if you struggle with binge eating or overeating. As it will help you to learn to listen to your body better: when it’s hungry, when it’s full, etc. It’s really simple, there are many methods of Intermittent fasting, but I’d suggest 16/8 for the beginners. (Google it for more info)
DRINK ALL THE WATER. Again, if you’re not drinking enough water, try to level up your water game incrementally. Download some water tracking app on your phone to help you. Drinking water will make you more energetic, increase your metabolism, and decrease you appetite (among many more benefits).
Track what you eating. I would really suggest tracking your meals for around a month. Because, most of the time people have no idea that what they’re eating is unhealthy. Again, download an app to your phone for that.
Make your own meals once in a while. Not only this will save you money, but it’ll help you to see what’s really going into your body.
Eat less meat and more veggies/fruits. Go to your local market and buy some veggies/fruits, you have never tried before. I’m sure you’ll find your new favs. Eat/buy less meat. Not only it’s good for the environment, but it is good for you, too. Get a veggie burger instead of the beef one, etc.
Cut dairy. Find your new favourite milk substitute. Advice: Oat milk is really good with the tea and oatmeal/porridge; hazelnut milk is amazing on it’s own; cashew milk goes well with cereals.
Learn more about nutrition in general. It will help you to make better food choices and it will make eating healthy much easier in general, because once you understand all the chemistry behind the food and what it does to your body, you kinda don’t want to make yourself feel worse. Here are some free resources: - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What I’ve Learnt YouTube Playlist - Human nutrition course from Alison.com - Crash course Metabolism&Nutrition: Part 1 and Part 2 - The Health Nerd’s YouTube Playlist about nutrition - What I’ve Learnt YouTube Playlist
GET PHYSICALLY FIT (2-6 months)
Define your goals. Do you want to lose weight, do you want to get stronger, gain weight, be able to climb stairs without losing breath, run 5k?
Remember - you’re half-way through. Being physically fit has a lot to do with what you put into your body. So, if you fulfilled the previous step of eating healthy - you are half way through!
Make a plan. A Reasonable plan. Be honest with yourself.
Start small. Like, 5 min exercise in the morning. Or doing 10 sit ups per day. Don’t do anything overwhelming, like running 5k everyday if you haven’t run for the past 5 years.
Make sure that you kinda like what you’re doing. If you absolutely hate running - don’t do it. Hate doing sit ups in the morning? Try some yoga instead.
Explore until you find what you like. You don’t have to go to gym to get fit, especially if you hate it. Find a type of exercise, which you actually like. Maybe it’s dancing or hiking, taking your dog for a walk. Sign up for several trial lessons of various sport clubs. Ditch ‘em if you have them until you find something that you love. Stick with that.
Do the small changes in your everyday life. Stairs>Escalator, Walk>Drive, Do some squats while brushing your teeth, switch from regular desk to standing desk, etc… Find ways to incorporate being active into your everyday life
Track your effort instead of your progress. You cannot really control your progress that much (especially if your goal was to lose weight). However, you can always control your effort. So track it instead. This will leave you more motivated. As you will be able to see that you can do more and more everyday. Whereas, if you tracked your progress, you may not always get the result you hoped for, which might demotivate you and make you upset, wanting to quit.
BEAT DEPRESSION
Do the previous 3 steps and you’re half way through.
See a therapist/doctor. Depression is an illness, requiring medical treatment. So, get it. Remember: there is absolutely no fucking shame in having a mental illness.
Get some extra support. Talk to your friends or family. Or maybe someone on the internet.
Write it out. If you don’t want to talk - write down your thoughts. It can be just as helpful. It’ll help you to understand yourself better, see problems in your thinking, etc.
Distract yourself from yourself. Get someone/something to take care of, so that you can, for a moment, stop thinking about yourself and focus on something else. E.g, get a plant, or a dog, or a fish.
Self-care day. Dedicate at least one day per week for self-care. Take yourself out, either to a museum or some fancy cafe, do some stuff you like, whatever your hobbies are, do some physical self care: bath, face mask, manicure, etc., listen to some nice music, watch a film…..
STOP PROCRASTINATION
Celebrate your victories instead of mourning over your loses.So the only thing you’ve done today was write one sentence for your 20 page essay? Amazing! Buy yourself a candy for that!! I mean, you could’ve done nothing, but you didn’t - you wrote that one sentence and that’s worth celebrating.
Do it for only 2 minutes. If there’s an important thing you’ve been putting off for a while, tell yourself that you will only spend 2 minutes on doing it. If after 2 minutes you don’t want to do it anymore, great, stop it. However, after 2min. you actually might want to do more. No pressure either way.
Track your productivity. Track how much time you’ve been productive that day. Try to increase that time by a little bit every day.
Always forgive yourself. So, it’s been a week and you’ve done nothing? Don’t sweat it. Let it go. Blaming yourself will bring you absolutely nothing. Nothing good will come out of your negativity on yourself. So stop it. Forgive yourself and start again. And again, if you need to. Never stop trying. Always pick yourself after you fall. Beating procrastination and increasing your discipline is a skill. And all skills can be build on. There is nothing in you stopping you from changing. Remember that.
LEARN HOW TO DO TAXES (1h - 1 day)
Go to google.com.
Type in: “How to do taxes *the name of the country you’re living in*”
Read the results.
GET MENTALLY STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE PHONE CALLS
Remember that just as with beating procrastination, making phone calls is a skill. And, again, skills can be learnt.
Get a new SIM card.
Top it up.
Dial some random numbers and pretend to be a salesman, selling whatever you like.. E.g., trying to sell broadband, cable tv, trying to get people to donate for some charity… Or whatever really… Me and some friends used to pretend we’re selling kittens or wood logs. Alternatively, you can pretend that you dialed a wrong person and talk about whatever, e.g. “Hey, Jess!! You wont believe what I saw today!! *start telling a made-up story*…”
If you get uncomfortable - just drop the call. No consequences whatsoever.
Repeat until you build up your game and your phone-call anxiety starts to diminish.
SLAY THOSE BITCHES Congratulations, now you’re ready to take over the world! Got get ‘em!!
my computer broke
These are amazing — and shockingly accurate. Did you know there’s a “Bechdel test” for female scientist biographies?
Follow @the-future-now
17 Power Snacks For Studying
1. Banana Dog Bites
Here’s a reason to get excited about a classic-old combo: bananas — a darling energy-boosting carbohydrate — wrapped in wheat tortillas and peanut butter. Recipe here.
2. Mason Jar Hummus and Veggies
Mason jar fanatic or not, you can’t deny that this method syncs with gravity: It’s a mess-free way to transport your high-protein hummus and veggies in one container. Hummus recipe here.
3. Apple Sandwiches with Almond Butter and Granola
You’re already carrying a backpack full of heavy books — the last thing you need is a load of bulky snacks. These sandwiches, already compact and ready to go, solve the problem. Recipe here.
4. Frozen Yogurt-Covered Blueberries
Like bite-size frozen Go-Gurt with real fruit! Just coat fresh blueberries with yogurt and freeze. Full directions here.
5. Roasted Chickpeas
Roast them in the oven for 45–60 minutes — just enough time to get through a chapter of notes — then select your seasoning, eat, and charge up for the next chapter. Recipes here.
6. Chocolate Avocado Pudding
Good chocolate? Boosts energy levels. Tricking yourself into eating healthy chocolate pudding? Boosts endorphins levels. Recipe here.
7. Multigrain Flatbread Cracker Snacks
Lightly spread goat cheese on a flatbread cracker and top with almonds, dates, and a drizzle of honey. Or sprinkle feta cheese over tomato slices. Or…you have seven more options. Recipes here.
8. Blueberry Yogurt Parfait with Granola
The timeless healthy snack. Let frozen blueberries thaw in yogurt. Then top with crunchy granola. Recipe here.
9. Peanut Butter Honey Yogurt Dip with Apples
Apples and Greek yogurt fortified with peanut butter is a power couple snack. AND you should use the apple slicer you bought but are always too lazy to pull out — because right now you need a reason to procrastinate. Recipe here.
10. Avocado Toast
One of those simple recipes with an output greater than the input. Smash some avocados on whole grain bread, drizzle with olive oil, and season. Recipe here.
11. Steamed Broccoli with Miso Peanut Butter Sauce
A NEW SIMPLE WAY TO EAT BROCCOLI? Yes. Steam and eat with a five-ingredient dip: miso, peanut butter, rice vinegar, mirin, and sesame oil. Make the sauce in bulk ahead of time and keep in the fridge. That way you get several snack/study seshes out of it and you don’t have to eat boring broccoli just because you’re under pressure. Recipe here.
12. Toasted Pumpkin Seeds
Pumpkin seeds are loaded with zinc and boost memory. Might give you a slightadvantage if you’re cramming for a test, but no promises. Recipe here.
13. Spicy Sriracha Popcorn
WARINING: This is addictive. Just melt butter and stir in sriracha. Then drizzle over popcorn and toss. You’ll be set for every munchies moment coming your way till school’s out. Recipe here.
14. Chia Yogurt Power Bowl
If you haven’t met chia seeds yet, meet the superfood extraordinaire. In good company with bananas, berries, and nuts, this yogurt instantly powers you up. Recipe here.
15. Cheese Cucumber Sandwiches
Curb your carb intake by eating cheese with crunchy cucumbers instead of crackers. This way you also don’t have to worry about (clumsy you) dusting off crumbs from your lap, desk, books — you get the picture. Full details here.
16. Healthy Five-Ingredient Granola Bar
Oats + almonds + dates + peanut butter + honey = a compact healthy way to get your nuts, fiber, and sugar boost. Recipe here.
17. Nutella Energy Bites
Gain energy via oats, shredded coconut, honey-roasted hazelnuts, ground flaxseeds, and chia seeds. Gain happiness via Nutella. Recipe here.
Waddup my name is Charlie, im 21, and i never fucking learned how to study.
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