10/17/20
~A call to God~
Today was the day where my strength was tested. It took a lot of faith to face with the obstacle that had came my way. Faith had me recognize that this time I needed  to put a lot of trust in God. To know that there is a kind of loving power out there that is stronger then the evil. Oh how the wicked on this planet tries to normalize itself. Lurk around the corners of the outside world. But there is protection out there. Somewhere you can call out on. Something that can be right by your side, and that’s the power of God. At this point in life. I just put all my faith and trust in the lord, because in the end.. he’s the only one you can ever trust in this lifetime and the next.
Always look up, Life is beautiful <3
Little Kim & Kourtney🌹
February 8, 2021
~Loneliness~
Last night had to of been another horrifying thing I went through and experience. Dealing with someone who has deep dark depression and energy is draining. It can effect you. It hurt my spirit to have gone through someone who were using inhuman activity and words towards me. What have I done? I’ve done nothing but to try to be an example of a better person and someone who is healing. My spiritual warfare I’ve been dealing with has not been easy. It’s been to break me down. Only thing I’m still standing is because of God. As much as I want to surrender. At the same time I can’t. I know things in life won’t get easier. But it’s never right to put the blame on others. Own up to your own mistakes and lessons and learn from them. She never wanted to. But uses me as a punching bag to put anger on me. As if I don’t feel alone in this world. I am lonely. I’ve been feeling like this for years. But I know spiritually I’m not alone because I have Jesus by my side. But oh my how my physical self feels like it’s just shattered in pieces. Toxic people who have no hope or faith will be the ones to way you down. But why is it a parent of mine. So many skeletons in my closet I’ve been hiding for years and why add more on to them? I don’t have any friends. No one. It’s just me. I just want to be with the Lord. I can’t handle the emptiness that’s in my chest. Save me! I say to God. Why am I always alone. Then a voice in my head tells me. “You’re not alone I’ve always been with you by side.” Just notice me.
Colette, tr. by Matthew Ward, from The Collected Stories; “The Accompanist, //Charles Bukowski