In A World Of My Own

Alice and wonderland 🌺

Sh2-101, The Tulip Nebula 

February 8, 2021

~Loneliness~

Last night had to of been another horrifying thing I went through and experience. Dealing with someone who has deep dark depression and energy is draining. It can effect you. It hurt my spirit to have gone through someone who were using inhuman activity and words towards me. What have I done? I’ve done nothing but to try to be an example of a better person and someone who is healing. My spiritual warfare I’ve been dealing with has not been easy. It’s been to break me down. Only thing I’m still standing is because of God. As much as I want to surrender. At the same time I can’t. I know things in life won’t get easier. But it’s never right to put the blame on others. Own up to your own mistakes and lessons and learn from them. She never wanted to. But uses me as a punching bag to put anger on me. As if I don’t feel alone in this world. I am lonely. I’ve been feeling like this for years. But I know spiritually I’m not alone because I have Jesus by my side. But oh my how my physical self feels like it’s just shattered in pieces. Toxic people who have no hope or faith will be the ones to way you down. But why is it a parent of mine. So many skeletons in my closet I’ve been hiding for years and why add more on to them? I don’t have any friends. No one. It’s just me. I just want to be with the Lord. I can’t handle the emptiness that’s in my chest. Save me! I say to God. Why am I always alone. Then a voice in my head tells me. “You’re not alone I’ve always been with you by side.” Just notice me.

close by, 2018.

Young Kim and her dad 🖤💕

Simply why I don’t speak on a person too soon, because I know in the end their colors will truly show.

Sunday Oct 11, 2020

Today I’m feeling let down and upset. I’m usually a person who suffers in silence. I don’t honestly trust anyone to talk to. Because every time I try to do the right thing and speak what’s on my mind in return I get judgment. Or no one understands. People tell me to always make sure to talk to someone when I’m feeling let down. But how can I? When in the end I just get disappointed by the responses I receive. Let down. Dear God help me! .-.

Spring April 10, 2021 7:14 am

Gloomy lake days 🤍

Sunday, April 4 1:11 p.m.

Never enough Isn’t it

Lately I’ve been feeling like nothing is ever really enough for me.

Doesn’t matter who I talk to at the moment and how they make me feel..... it’s never enough.

I can listen to all kinds of songs that fit my mood but it’s never enough.

I think about past memories and happy thoughts, but it’s never enough.

I think about the future and it’s just not enough.

I am filled with emotions but it’s not enough for me to even have control of.

I am lost but.... even the loneliness isn’t enough.

I am alone and it’s now.... enough. Enough of me feeling like this.

Then.... I think of Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”..... faith over feelings?



Final Fantasy XV 💙🖤