Hannibal Suffering From Brain Damage After Being Beaten Up In The BSHCI. He Has Amnesia And Doesn’t

Hannibal (2013-2015)

2x13 - “Mizumono”

saw a tiktok that said if it took u 30+ years to find someone who could see you for who u truly are, u would also fight tooth and nail for it the way hannibal did with will so why dont u just rip my heart as well while ur at it

Imagine Hannibal losing control of his bowels and trembling and whimpering through the agony while clinging to Will and sinking down to the ground when both knees give out. Imagine Will trying to calm Hannibal and checking every now and then to make sure no one's spotted them. Imagine Will lowering himself down to Hannibal's level and cradling Hannibal by the waist to keep him up and rubbing over his cramping stomach. Imagine Hannibal's face, wet with tears of agony and shame, tucked under Will's chin and Hannibal's whimpers puffing against Will's neck. Imagine Hannibal regressing in response to the putrid scent of feces; remembering finding Mischa's milk teeth in the toilet. Imagine Will's palm cradling the back of Hannibal's skull and feeling unmoored when Hannibal utters a heart-stopping word.

"Tėvelis."

Will doesn't understand the meaning, but the tremble and vulnerability in Hannibal's voice is unfamiliar.

"What?" Will asks, voice gentle. "Tell me in English, darlin'."

A minute passes. Then, Hannibal's breath shudders around another sob. "Daddy."

@cedarxwing i just reread that little excerpt you showed me months ago about Hannibal's trauma with the scent of 💩 and came up with this. maybe i'll turn it into an actual fic one day!

Post-Fall Hannibal and Will are at a gathering (to blend in), and Hannibal's stomach is still sensitive. They've just finished dinner and Hannibal's stomach is gurgling and bloated. They're standing around, sipping on wine glasses. Hannibal sets a half-empty glass on the nearest table. He's desperate to find a bathroom yet doesn't want to cause a scene, mostly because it may upset Will. He excuses himself and scans the room in hopes of finding a bathroom; all the while barely able to breathe past the sharp pain burrowing beneath each rib. He knows something is bound to come out one way or another. Each step becomes less stable. His pulse is thrumming loud enough to drown out the rest of the world and Will's footsteps. He gasps when a set of fingers curl around one wrist.

"Where are you going?" Will asks. He notices rising panic wash over Hannibal's features--a foreign sight.

Hannibal's stomach clenches, wrenching free a whimper. "Bathroom, please." He won't be able to control it much longer. He knows and doesn't want to cause a scene, much less shit himself in front of Will. He blinks past a sting of fresh tears, accent thickening. "Will, I-I need a bathroom."

Then, Will softens in understanding and leads Hannibal away from the crowd (first, asking a waiter where the nearest bathroom is; unfortunately, upstairs). Hannibal is sweating now, palm sliding against Will's own and finger's trembling in their squeeze. He's gentle when the need arises; when Hannibal's footsteps begin to slow and whimpers become a constant background noise; when Hannibal needs to brace himself against the nearest concrete wall, and wrap an arm around a swollen and aching belly; when Hannibal's knees begin to shake.

"Will," Hannibal rasps, voice curling around an emerging sob. "I won't make it. Too far."

All I can think about is Hannibal cooking his and Will’s final shared meal in Mizumono. He probably struggled to blink back tears, knowing this was his last chance to suggest (in his own way) for Will to choose him. For Will to accept who he was—the whole of him that he never thought he would share with anyone before. Imagine if he had to dab on concealer to hide the puffy state of his red-rimmed eyes and the swollen state of his nose (which felt raw and irritated after he’d blown it a thousand times) so that Will wouldn’t realize he’d been crying because he wanted to look perfect for Will one last time.

obsessed with post-fall hannigram domesticity. cleaning blood from each others wounds. quiet naps next to each other. gentle hands in hair, loving and soft. gazes at each other just to marvel. strong winters where one comes back covered in snow, just to have the other pull their wet clothes off and tuck them in soft blankets, giving them tea to warm up. showering together after killing, not shower sex, but gentle touches, one holding the other to their chest. post-fall hannigram domesticity.

so true his brain would’ve combusted on the spot

U r not going to stand there and tell me that if will kissed hannibal good after that "i would could never entirely predict u" bit that he wouldn't audibly whimper and fall to his knees.

That man was waiting for will to do smtn to him.

this was me in the spring of 2023 after i started writing my 54k word fic about Hannibal being tortured via laxatives and starvation after his toilet was removed in the BSHCI, and people actually left lovely comments on it when i expected at least one person to be like: "goddamn bitch what the fuck is this monstrosity"

YOU!! YES, YOU!! GO WRITE THAT FANFIC YOU THINK NOBODY BUT YOU WILL READ!!

I'm exploring this in my cliff house fic right now, but thoughts on potential abuse that took place during Hannibal's stay at the BSHCI?

They took his toilet and books. I get the feeling there was sleep and food deprivation. I think lot of the guards didn't treat him well when they had to deal with him. Not like Alana would do anything about that. Especially after they figure out he won't attack them or try to escape and they basically have a willing punching bag. (Especially after Will gets married, Hannibal loses what little fight he has)

What if as they start recovering from the fall and getting closer, Will starts to see little tells and triggers and starts to piece together that Hannibal was not in fact treated to a luxury stay under Alana's care as he thought. Cue Hannibal constantly denying that he has trauma and fighting the tlc Will is trying to give and Will dealing with the guilt in the aftermath for being the cause of it all. Bonus points if Will goes into a rage and goes after (or at least wants to) the people who hurt him and Hannibal gets all flustered about being protected and cared for

OMG I AGREE!! also very excited for your fic. i'll touch on Hannibal's abuse in the BSHCI because you know whump is my bread and butter 😏

firstly, i think Hannibal did indeed face abuse (emotional and physical) like gaurds being rough and not caring if he got thrashed around or injured on their end. like omg imagine if when Hannibal was in that dolly thing with the wheels (wearing his straitjacket), one of the gaurds who absolutely hated him sped up the dolly thing and roughly pushed it over so Hannibal landed face first onto the floor with no way to brace himself and got a bloody nose and black eye. i might write a fic about that actually: Will finding Hannibal sedated and crumpled on the floor with the dolly thing crushing him. 😭

sorry i got sidetracked, but anywho!! i do think Hannibal faced starvation and missed meals, too. maybe not consistently. but at least a few times during those three years. i bet it messed with his mind a lot more than he would willingly admit to himself and bring back memories of being chained up with a growling stomach. on those nights, Hannibal probably struggled with night terrors.

i know this next part is so niche and not everyone needs to agree with it, but my headcanon is after Hannibal's toilet was removed there was at least one instance where laxatives were snuck into Hannibal's food or water, or Hannibal was restrained and forcefully given an enema by a few of the gaurds so they could watch Hannibal suffer without access to a toilet.

another headcanon i have is that sometimes Hannibal regressed in the BSHCI when the isolation and touch starvation became too unbearable. little Hannibal would curl up under the blanket and fold it over his head to be out of view when sucking his thumb for comfort and rocking himself to sleep. ohmygod what if i write a fic about that too?! 😭 Will going to visit Hannibal and Alana tells him Hannibal is regressed 💔 crying and i haven't even written it yet lmfao.

Hannibal regressed at least a few times. especially on his birthday or mischa's birthday because those are difficult days to be alone. Hannibal tried not to regress on Will's birthday because little Hannibal wouldn't think Will wanted to see him ever again.

going back to the toilet removal and laxative/enema torture: Hannibal probably regressed in those moments because such a loss of control was nearly foreign and unbearable.

Hannibal was probably triggered with memories of being trapped in the cabin with the men who killed his family (before he became mute) and asking to use the bathroom yet being forced to hold it for as long as possible. even when it became agonizing, especially when he was sick and couldn't hold in diarrhea. the men would punish young Hannibal with beatings and not give him anything to clean up the mess or throw him out in the snow for a period of time as punishment or lessen the amount of food he would be given, if any at all.

in the BSHCI, Hannibal would probably try to mask any signs of regression, though, so mutism was the best coping mechanism in those circumstances.

also omg we have the same brain because i've been thinking about Hannibal being sleep deprived in the BSHCI since winter. my headcanon is that it would occur on rare occasions, but be enough to send Hannibal into a regressed state. for two days (because that's as long as the guards would have during the weekend when Alana would not be there) lights would not be turned off when scheduled to be and music would blare loud in the speakers constantly. little Hannibal would be overwhelmed and shove both hands over his ears to soften the sound as much as possible, but it wouldn't offer much relief at all. i might write a fic about this too omg because imagine Will seeing a sleep deprived version of little Hannibal sobbing for silence and darkness and sleep in the BSHCI. 😭

now, on the topic of Will noticing signs of Hannibal's abuse/mistreatment

the first time Hannibal felt the urge to use the bathroom in Will's presence would probably bring up feelings of unease and resurfacing emotions and memories. especially if Hannibal was injured and incapable of getting around without assistance from Will. Hannibal would most likely involuntarily regress in that moment because there was (in little Hannibal's mind) a very high likelihood of being denied the option to seek out a bathroom and a very high likelihood of being tortured in such a way that made losing control of one's bladder or bowels inevitable and a very high likelihood of being punished for it. it would shock Will, seeing Hannibal fall into a state of regression and clearly be distressed about being allowed to use the bathroom.

my headcanon is that Will instantly adores little Hannibal and feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness and fondness for this newfound version of Hannibal.

another moment where Hannibal may regress post-fall is during the first time Hannibal is hungry and it is not at all close to dinner time yet. Hannibal knows asking to have a snack is not some huge feat or something to be wary of while in Will's presence. but regressing temporarily eases Hannibal's worries about possibly being denied food (because Hannibal is hopeful Will would not deny little Hannibal the comfort of food). little Hannibal is cautious in asking Will for a snack and Will can sense it's a monumental moment. Will rushes to bring little Hannibal a snack and settles into bed and hand-feeds little Hannibal every bite to make it clear there is no reason for Hannibal to ever again be wary about asking for food. regressed or non regressed.

these are all my thoughts i have right now, but i may come back to this eventually and add some more. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and sending in this ask. i would absolutely love love love talking more about vulnerable Hannibal with y'all. please feel free to send in more asks or share your thoughts with me about vulnerable Hannibal! <3

First chapter of my amnesiac hannibal wip is up!

He’d sustained a substantial amount of brain damage throughout the last eleven days, Will had been told. Resulting in Post-Traumatic Amnesia.

Hannibal suffering from brain damage after being beaten up in the BSHCI. He has amnesia and doesn’t remember anything past the age of eight (the year his family was killed). Will doesn’t want to believe it. But Will eventually has to when he sees Hannibal crying and pleading for his mother and father in Lithuanian because he doesn’t know English yet. The guards are still rough with him and he doesn’t understand why. In his mind, he’s only a little boy; scared and in search of his parents who never come to save him.