I’m Overall A Very Kind Person. But, Sometimes I Find Myself Withholding The URGE To Act. Yes, Everyone

I’m overall a very kind person. But, sometimes I find myself withholding the URGE to act. Yes, everyone has intrusive thoughts and I am aware of the horrible things we have thought of doing. I have said this quite a few times over this new year and last year. “I show and give kindness to hide my violence.”(me) I had Just thought of this a few moments ago and wondered if that’s how I really am. But I’m not…..right? I personally do kind things and be nice to others around me. Though…even with people I do not like. My feelings ARE sincere, I, or maybe many, have violent tendencies. We just don’t act out because we know, WE KNOW this is treacherous and can cause harm to ourselves and people we know. Feeling I have gone overboard like, 2-4 times(and regretted what I had done) and the after feeling is guilt. Many other emotions such as, overthinking, sadness, mood swings, anxiety and a few other negative emotions. I, as a individual, don’t know how to feel of myself whenever I want to do my violent thoughts. I won’t put examples but if you are reading this you may guess what I am implying. This is a major thought I’ve had for quite some (long) time and don’t know why I am doing this but. I’d say it is a weird thought I wouldn’t want to talk about in person.

MY HED HURRRRTSSA ANJABSVS🧠🤛🏾🤛🏾🤛🏾🤛🏾💥💥