Some Needs To Do It Omg

I think they should make that pre-storm smell into a drug and let me snort it. Or let me scatter it in the air around my neighbor's house and watch him go slowly insane as the sunny days smell like storms and also make him slightly high so he's wrong about the weather all the time

Thank you, Instagram

You're sentenced to life in prison. What'd you do? Who's your one call?

They decide that you're gonna have to go to the row of no returns (I was tryna make it sound less dark, but now it sounds more dark), what's your last meal?

Oooo, these are some good ones- Okay, let's see.

So, sentenced to life, I guess I'd ask for a journal or notebook or something to write in. Get my stories to the page, y'know? Either the fictional stuff I make up in my head or my actual life story to prove my innocence (or justify myself because I'm gonna be honest, if I ever do anything bad enough to get sentenced to any time in prison, there's gonna be a damn good reason behind it). It'd be a way to pass time, and who knows, might secure me an honorable spot in people's memories if it ever gets published.

My one call would 100% be my irl best friend. That's my pookie, and that bastard needs to know everything so he can visit (and try to break me out but shhhhhh-)

And if I had to pick a last meal, I'd say I want the loaded baked potato and smoked mac & cheese from my local BBQ truck. That stuff is the food of gods. If I'm gonna go out, I will go out with the ultimate satisfaction.

Sometimes experimentation is beautiful but please do not try to stick a knife down your throat all the way to the hilt just to see if you can. 0/10 do NOT recommend

You know what, Link WOULD be a very good butt-scooter.

One of the most memorable dreams I ever had was when my family and I stopped at a hotel to spend the night on our trip to Kiawah Island. In the hotel room, I dreamt I was racing in Mario Kart 8 except everyone was not on karts and instead racing those nostalgic butt scooters from elementary school PE class.

For whatever reason I had this extreme rivalry with Link because Link was the absolute greatest butt scooter racer in all of Mario Kart. Link and I were half a lap ahead of everyone near the end of the race. I was frustrated but I tried my absolute best. When we were about to cross the finish line, I used up every last bit of energy I had and managed to beat Link. When I finished 1st, I yelled

“FUCK YES!”

so goddamn loudly that I ended up shouting it in real life, immediately waking everyone in my family up including myself. Everyone was wondering what the hell happened and I had to explain this very dream I just had to them.

I don't think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn't only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans' facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors' homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going "I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun", and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it's because one's palms and feet aren't exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn't bathe.

Words cannot express how much I despise the chill guy meme. I have no reasoning for it, it has done me no wrong, but every bone in my body wishes to pluck out that little gopher-thing's teeth and stab his eyeballs with them. I want him dead. I am not a chill guy.

I feel like a sleeper agent. Sleeper for what? WHO KNOWS! Someone's gonna say the word 'mango' or something and I'm either going to blow up a building or make the fastest white boy chicken quesadilla ever seen

Root beer is awesome-

Here's me! My little flowers are marigolds (my favorites), and I desperately need a haircut or dysphoria might eat me alive, but yeah!

@gigglesum @ketchup-will-live-through-this @fall1ngawayfromm3

Tag game: make yourself as a little guy

Tagged by: @thanatos-zagreus-shagreus

Tagging: @thiamsxbitch @rhyslahey @myinnerguineapig and whoever else is up for doing it 💙

Oh my god the original post-

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