Dick: Hey Guys What’s Up?

So I love the fics of the Batfam finding out Jason is alive and has been alive for a while through the mosy random circumstances, but what if he got got back to Gotham a bit saner and decided to just... see how long it took his family to notice him?

Like food goes missing from the kitchen and Alfred can't figure it out for the life of him until he catches Jason raiding the fridge at two am.

Tim sees Jason sneaking around the manor and just assumes he's hallucinating again.

Bruce notices things around the cave have been moved or are missing and scolds Dick and Tim, who keep denying it was them.

Dick being zen and jason being jason:

❀。• *₊°。 ❀° 。。° ❀ 。° ₊ * •。❀

𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚒 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜

❀。• *₊°。 ❀° 。。° ❀ 。° ₊ * •。❀

Calendar drawn and made by @the-coffee-fandom inspired and encouraged by the wonderful @boldlyanxious

Welcome to the first Hanahaki calendar event! Hosted in the month known for its showers bringing flowers; May!

A week dedicated to a popular troupe, Hanahaki Disease, which came along in 2008, August 9th. It is a fictional disease in which a character coughs flowers which grow inside them from unrequited love.

How you use the prompts is up to your own creative interpretation! You can use the quotes, flowers, word, or all of them! Do one day, the entire week, do a poem, a masterful piece of art, drabbles and incorrect quotes, or even just a quick doodle. Have fun with it!

Need inspiration? Don’t feel like researching flowers? Flower symbolism has been premade! Just click here to view!

While created with the Maribat fandom in mind, any fandom may use it. But I do hope to see some of my Maribat fans!

Tags for Tumblr:

#Hanahaki Hours 2023 #Hanahaki Hours

Tags for Ao3:

Hanahaki Hours 2023 Hanahaki Hours

Ao3 Collection:

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HanahakiMay

Tag @the-coffee-fandom and reblog for others to see too! I will reblog any I’m tagged in as well.

Please feel free to reach out to @the-coffee-fandom however you’d like if you have any questions! Especially if you need more information on flowers.

Written out prompts below the cut!

May 7:

Quote: “Everything is temporary, this was merely one of those things.”

Flower: Hyacinth

Word: Wither

May 8:

Quote: “I never thought I’d be the one to hurt you.”

Flower: Butterfly Weed

Word: Acceptance

May 9:

Quote: “Why do you hate me?”

Flower: Lily

Word: Dose

May 10:

Quote: “You know I’m always right here for you, right?”

Flower: Cyclamen

Word: Excuse

May 11:

Quote: “They don’t love me, they’re not that stupid.”

Flower: Lily of the Valley

Word: Term

May 12:

Quote: “I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I’ll do it anyway.”

Flower: Rhododendron

Word: Courage

May 13:

Quote: “Lie to me then.”

Flower: Rose

Word: Cover

Substitutes:

Quote 1: “I’m not going to cry, it isn’t worth crying over.”

Quote 2: “How much of that did you hear?”

Flower 1: Petunia

Flower 2: Begonia

Word 1: Smoke

Word 2: Clear

There's something about Marinette turning into a thief stealing lost miraculous that's just so captivating, you know? Because you have a character that's kind, dedicated her teenager ages to save people and suffered due to that, who then had to turned into a thief to avoid people going through the same she did before then...

You just have a flashy hero who everyone knew about turning into a fugitive who tries to never be seen, who hides into the shadows. Her motivations are the same, she's still the same kind girl who everyone loved, and that would do anything to protect people, but instead of a beloved superheroine, she's a wanted thief who everyone hates...

Batfamily Headcanons:

Tim loves exploring abandoned “haunted” places like hospitals and asylums. The kid grew up travelling Gotham at night to take pictures of the superhero version of Freddy Krueger. This kid digs spooky places.

Jason likes the most problematic media out of all them and has gotten into fights over it. He’s into literature, you can’t read 5 classic novels in a row without finding out one of them was a racist or wifebeater or something. He is completely numb to it and Dick hates it. 

Damian pretends to hate Pokemon for ethical reasons but secretly has invested 300 hours into Sword and Shield. He plays so much fetch with his Pokemon. 

Everyone hates watching investigation shows with Cass cause she can tell by body language which actor is playing the killer. She has ruined Murder She Wrote for Alfred and part of him thinks he will never forgive her.

Duke is a menace to the Justice League. He absolutely has accidentally flexed on every single one of them. “Oh, sorry Wonder Woman, I just assumed you could speak Italian, cause you know…Rome is in Italy?” “So they’re ‘hardened light constructs’ but can’t actually light up a dark room? Dang Hal, that sucks man.’” Bruce loves this. 

Dick absolutely has a lifetime band from every theme park he has ever been to. He handstands on the spin-and-get-stuck-to-walls-ride. He leaps out of the rollercoaster seat to land back in it during every loop. The only roller coaster he is ever allowed to ride is the ladybug one at Smallville’s town fair Uncle Clark takes him to.

Now that Jon is an adult Damian actively keeps him away from his family because the thought of Tim and Jon dating has woken Damian up in a cold sweat.

Whenever they go to iHop they expect Steph to get the crazy waffles with like marshmallows or sprinkles or something. But she doesn’t. She gets the whole grain waffles. The kind with oats. No one can tell if she’s punking them or not (she absolutely is, and orders a quinoa omelette to sell the act).

Bette still hangs out with the Titans on occassion and the younger Bats literally don’t know who she is. “Yeah back when I was Batgirl I–” and Damian does a spittake and Cass asks Bette for advice (that she absolutely doesn’t need cause she has surpassed Bette in every skill but it makes Bette smile so its worth it).

Dick and Jason find out Barbara went one 1 (one) date with Roy like 4 years ago and spend weeks preparing separate powerpoints on why that is not allowed. 

Jason polices Alfred’s eating. Everyone thinks Alfred eats healthy all the time but every once in a while he’ll snack on something with just a little too much fiber and Jason will pull him aside and be like “You know what Leslie said Alfred, berries aren’t good for your bowels” and Alfred will blush and hand over the berries with a pout (which Jason will then eat himself).

Bruce cannot keep focused enough to cook, this is a known fact. However, he can stay on task enough to make soaps. Dick threatened to tell the Justice League, but Bruce threatened to take back that Salt & Pepper scented soap that Dick loves and Dick folded (Dick loves it because it just so happens to smell like Bruce’s cologne the night he picked him up at the circus (Bruce pretends not to know that’s why)).

Damian cannot draw cartoony or anime-y styles whatsoever. Duke asks him to teach him how to draw Naruto and Damian just can’t and it hurts him that there is something he is bad at. 

Barbara uses her wheelchair in daily life not because she can’t walk but because it hurts to walk. When she offers to take Steph’s patrol once, Steph is stoked, but when she sees Barbara cringe in pain the next morning she spends two hours crying and gives Barbara lunch in bed for the next three weeks.

John Constantine isn’t allowed within Gotham’s walls, especially near Damian, Duke, Tim, or Steph. Bruce knows without a doubt that Constantine does not give enough of a shit to protect his kids if push comes to shove, so that man is banned from all missions involving his kids. 

Zatanna is about halfway between Bruce and Dick, and one day she lets it slip she’s slept with them both and it sends Bruce into anaphylactic shock. Dick never forgives her.

During a Hero community football game Hal slaps Tim’s ass after a touchdown not even thinking it might be awkward or uncomfortable and Jason tackles him into the center of the Earth on the next play.

Because Tim has had a hero crush on every Bat ever and still kind of does, whenever Dick or Jason or Barbara tease Bette by saying “who are you again” Tim goes into a 45 minute long tirade on why they should respect the first Batgirl. Even Bette finds it weird.

Damian draws fake tattoos on the other kids hands at recess.

Sometimes people think that Batman’s presence is what keeps primarily not-gotham villians out of Gotham but really its Catwoman cause once a group of Luthor’s hitmen came into Gotham and were found with absolutely brutal claw wounds and everyone in the supervillian community got the message loud and clear. 

Alred and Wonder Woman are such stubborn personalities with similar morals and motives, that they actually butt heads when Diana is in the cave and good fucking god is it scary.

For Cass’s birthday Barbara and Tim manage to rope Lady fucking Shiva to coming and Cass is genuinely touched, but Dick and Jason had no fucking clue their best friend/little brother knew the world’s deadliest hand to hand fighter what the fuck. Damian takes to Shiva instantly and spars with her every other Saturday and she and Talia begin having “parent teacher conferences” over Damian’s growth. Bruce is absolutely terrified of them as a team.

The bats completely convince Guy Gardner that they’re all metas and that their superpower is literally “Super Competence.”

During a sex-pollen fight with Ivy, several Justice Leaguers are hit and everyone seems to have gotten with their partner and Bruce isn’t worried until he finds out that Dick offered to help one of them for a night because their partner was off world. When Oliver walks down to Wayne Manor’s breakfast the next morning Bruce almost fires him.

Tim has not so secretly recreated Dick, Jason, and Barbara’s old attires and cosplays them on Tiktok. He knows this is a dangerous game. Barbara will only be blind for so long. The adrenaline is worth the risk.

I’m also anti-pit madness! What’s your reason? I’m not a fan of it because it isn’t canon and I find it triggering because it’s often used as an excuse for characters *cough cough* Jason *cough cough* to behave abusively without any repercussions.

for the me it's mainly because it takes away the character's agency and accountability.

all the bad things they did, the change/development of their character - whoosh! explained away by "oh they were being strongly influenced / they were temporarily insane & out of control it wasn't their fault <3". it reduces the situation/events/character to a mindset where it simply couldn't be helped.

like no!!! they were in control!!! they made those decisions!!! they're the way they are now not because of the pit, but because they've gone through life events and come out changed!!!

to get specific with Jason (bc we all know that's who this is about):

Jason becoming a crimelord, killing lots of people, and nearly killing his family was FULLY premeditated. Jason is wicked smart. you better believe he thought that shit out down to the letter before acting.

was he incredibly angry? yeah. was his character suddenly drastically different than who he was when he died? yeah. BECAUSE HE DIED AND CAME BACK, THEN LIVED FIVE WHOLE YEARS AWAY FROM GOTHAM. OF COURSE HE'S FUCKED UP. HE'S NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME AGAIN AND THAT'S THE POINT.

'pit madness' completely takes away the impact of that. and even if pit madness was canon, you're telling me that in those five years of training and travel etc he STILL had zero control over it? c'mon.

i'm just... i hate it when fucked up events and actions are "fixed" by a borderline deus ex machina like pit madness. not only does it put everyone else in a bad position and often forces them into a corner of guilt "we should have known, i'm sorry we didn't see it, we still love you, no no you don't need to apologize we get it" - it takes the pit-dipped character and makes them kinda pathetic, honestly.

suddenly, despite their development (please note that development does Not equal positive growth), they're backtracking right to where they started. they have to grovel for forgiveness. they've got that "ough im unforgivable, im out of control, it would be better if i stayed away even though i wish i could go home" self pity

and again talking about jason specifically: whenever i read a fic where all he wants is to go home but thinks he can't, i roll my eyes. if he wanted to 'go home', he'd be having tea with Alfred every sunday. Bruce and the others would not be able to stop him. he would not give up his guns for fuckin ANYONE, and especially not Bruce.

and would you look at that - most fics i read where he's given up his guns also has pit madness. and guess what - in those, he gives up his guns because of the pit madness, because it, say it with me, ~made him kill people~.

actions have consequences. people change, often in an unpleasant direction. pit madness spits in the face of that and i hate it.

keeping this as a reminder whenever i feel like my writing isn’t good enough

my friend and i realized Jason probably has had to make a list of things he missed while he was dead Steve Rogers style so obviously I had to make this, enjoy

And here’s the empty one in case anyone wants to make their own lmao

Jason: Have you ever thought about what it'd be like to look God in the face and call them a bitch?

Plagg, sitting up from where he was laying: Marinette says it to me every day.

Marinette: It's true. Plagg, you're a bitch.

Jason: Pft.

Damian high on anesthetic after a minor surgery, in the Cave’s Medbay: You shouldn’t be holding my hand.

Marinette, sitting next to him: And why is that?

Damian, with an adorable pout: Because my girlfriend will be very upset… I’m upset. I don’t like holding hands that aren’t hers.

Marinette, holding in laughter, and trying to subtly film on her phone: Oh, I think your girlfriend will be okay with it. 

Damian: Really?

Marinette, smiling: Yep, because I’m your girlfriend.

Damian, eyes widening: No, you can’t be…

Marinette: Why not?

Damian: Because you’re too pretty. And nice. You’re holding my hand and making me feel safe. I don’t deserve a girlfriend that nice. I’m not nice enough.

Marinette, holding back tears, kisses him on the forehead: You deserve all the nicest things in the world mon cher.