Damian, To Himself As He Paces Around His Room, Trying To Put His Feelings Into Words: Marinette Is A

I Couldn’t Have, I Was Playing Hopscotch with Hawkmoth

Felix slid into his seat next to Dupain-Cheng, wondering what would happen today. 

It seemed that her new policy of dealing with Lila’s lies and the simultaneous ire of the class was to say whatever crazy thing popped into her head whenever they accused her of something. It had been rather entertaining, to say the least. 

The first time she’d done it, their faces had been so comical that it had made Felix wish he’d brought his camera to school. 

“Marinette! How could you shove Lila into the lockers?” Kim had stood in front of the crowd, his arms crossed in what was clearly meant to be an intimidating pose. 

Marinette had looked up with a blank expression. 

“I couldn’t have, I was playing hopscotch with Hawkmoth. He’s a really bad loser, so I had to leave before he had a full-on temper tantrum.” She had said it with the blandest tone he’d ever heard her use, which only added to the effect. 

Everyone’s mouths had opened and closed like a fish’s, trying to figure out how to respond to her answer. It was obviously not true, but how did someone respond to that?

She’d held Kim’s gaze, no trace of amusement on her face. 

It had worked exactly how he suspected she intended; they hadn’t managed to come up with anything before Bustier had come back in the room, breezily instructing everyone to turn to page 294 in their textbooks. 

The next time, it seemed that they had come a little better prepared, allowing Alix to lead the charge. She was notorious for having a witty retort to everything, so it made sense. Unfortunately, Marinette had also come with a plan. 

“Marinette! Care to tell us why you sabotaged Lila’s project in the art room?”

Marinette had held up a finger, digging in her backpack. The class had watched with interest, as this was the first reaction that hadn’t been outright hostile or bland. 

She’d pulled out her tablet and typed something before turning it around. 

Can’t talk. I lost my voice after too much yelling at the heavy metal concert I went to last night. 

Alix had blinked at the idea of sugar-sweet Marinette attending a heavy metal concert, but recovered quickly. “Ok, so type out why you destroyed her project!”

Some more typing, then a response. Couldn’t have, I was helping scientists extract DNA from mosquitoes in amber to make dinosaurs.

“That’s the plot of Jurassic Park!”

Where do you think they got the idea from?

Alix had stared for a moment more before throwing up her hands. “This is useless, she’s clearly gone off the deep end!” She’d stormed out, leaving the rest of the class behind, unsure of what to do now that they’d lost their ringer.

Again, Bustier had made the decision of what to do for them, coming in with a reminder of the worksheet they had due at the end of class. 

Needless to say, Felix believed that this was a very good use of her creative mind. Watching her outsmart the idiots of the class in her own way was endlessly amusing and had quickly become his favorite part of the day. 

Today, before the daily confrontation, Bustier had assigned them a project, a partner project with their deskmate. For Felix, that was Marinette. Since they’d been working on the project all day, Lila hadn’t had the chance to leave and lie about anything, pushing the confrontation to likely after the lunch break. Felix could hardly wait to see what she said this time. Maybe this project would allow him to get to know and understand her better.

“So for the project I was thinking that we make a PowerPoint-” Marinette cut herself off, staring at him with a puzzled expression. “You’re almost smiling at me. Are you feeling alright?”

Felix immediately wiped his expression, mildly mortified that he’d outwardly shown his amusement, but forged ahead. “I see you got your voice back. Was the heavy metal worth it?”

“What? Oh, that. I’m fine.”

“Oh, I know. Your recent interactions with the class have been thoroughly entertaining.” 

“Glad you’ve been enjoying it. Confusion is certainly better than outright hostility.” She sighed, suddenly looking very tired. 

“It’s about time that you started retaliating, even if it’s just by scrambling the two collective brain cells they have left. I don’t know that I could’ve put up with Rossi’s bullshit for as long as you have with the patience you’ve had.”

Her eyes snapped to him. “You know she’s lying?”

He scoffed. “Please, don’t insult my intelligence like that. Of course I know she’s lying.”

Marinette was silent. He could almost see the burden on her shoulders getting lighter with the realization she wasn’t alone in knowing Rossi was a liar and was about to comment further on it when Marinette smiled. It was a mischievous smile that promised trouble, which immediately intrigued Felix. He hadn’t seen much of her troublemaker side except for the few glimpses from her last interactions with the class, but he had a feeling there was one hell of a wicked streak somewhere underneath that cotton candy. 

“You wanna help?”

He considered for a moment. Was it worth getting involved in? On one hand, it was enjoyable to just be merely a spectator. On the other hand, he wanted to know more about this side of Marinette and it was always enjoyable to see idiots put in their place. 

“I’m in.”

- - - - - -

After school, Felix and Marinette were at their desk, waiting for the confrontation. 

And like a bad penny, the class came back to try again. It seemed that they were shuffling who was leading the ‘Marinette how dare you’ brigade, and this time they had chosen Adrien. Felix knew about her crush on him, so he supposed that it was a rather strategic move on their part, if he wasn’t able to see the barely hidden disdain for the boy on her face. 

“Marinette, you know that it wasn’t kind of you to throw Lila’s backpack down the stairs while she was in the cafeteria. That’s not the everyday Ladybug we all know and love.” 

Ah, the guilt trip method. Usually foolproof on someone as empathetic as Marinette, rendered useless by Marinette’s developing apathy towards the class.

“It must’ve been someone else. I spent the lunch break teaching Mr. Ramier’s pigeons how to moonwalk. I wouldn’t have gotten back in time if Felix hadn’t realized the time and dragged me back.”

“Now, Marinette, don’t lie about it.”

“I’m not. Felix?”

Felix nodded, pulling up a video on his phone and showing it to the class. In it, Marinette stood next to some pigeons, clearly demonstrating how to moonwalk. The pigeons looked on curiously, occasionally pecking at her shoes and awkwardly waddling backwards. Mr. Ramier sat in the background, alternately cheering or throwing birdseed to the pigeons. The video clearly had the timestamp of about ten minutes before their break ended, so they would’ve had to rush to get back to class. There was no way they could’ve done anything.

Marinette looked back at Adrien and folded her arms. “Well? I’ll take my apology now.”

Felix snorted at the flabbergasted expression on Adrien’s face, casually putting his arm over Marinette’s shoulders. He didn’t really know why he did it, only that it felt right. Apparently she didn’t mind, since she just readjusted to be a bit more comfortable. “Give him a minute, he’s rebooting.”

“Wait, are the two of you dating?” He blurted out, then immediately looked like he regretted it. 

This time, Marinette snorted. “Because the only reason he’d support me was if he was my boyfriend? No, that’s what friends are meant to do, Adrien.” The last sentence was laden with poison that Felix didn’t know the context for, but Adrien did, because he flinched. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning away. 

As soon as the class turned away, her head fell on his shoulder, her face crumpling in pain. He didn’t know what to do but hug her shoulders tighter. He’d seen that her love language was physical touch, so maybe it would help? After a while, her face smoothed and she lifted her head, seemingly doing better. 

“Hey, thanks for backing me up.”

Felix shrugged. “It was fun.”

She turned to look at him. “No, I’m serious. It’s been a long time since anyone’s had my back, even if it’s just to mess with someone. Thank you.”

Why did he suddenly feel all warm inside? “So what’s the next plan?”

Marinette looked surprised. “You want to be involved in the next one?”

“Sure, why not?”

She looked away, her cheeks turning a light pink. “Maybe we could, well, I don’t know, I don’t want you thinking that I’m just saying this because Adrien said it because I promise I’m really not, but maybe we could, um, discuss it on a date?”

“But we hardly know each other.” What did she see in him that she liked? Sure, he’d helped her once, but that was hardly grounds for someone liking someone, was it?

“That’s the point of the date. To get to know someone. Besides, I want to see if you’re as nice as I suspect you are under that prickly exterior.” She was looking at him again, cheeks now a bright red, but with determination in her eyes. 

Well, hadn’t he wanted to get to know her better too? “Sure.”

The first time Damian calls Tim his brother is when Tim is beating his ass at Mario Party and after Tim steals yet another star Damian throws his controller down and yells, "I am your BABY BROTHER!"

Maribat AU where Robin gets kidnapped and ends up getting free about a week later but is In Paris doing a akuma attack and thinks the whole thing is a drunk induced dream.

This means that Robin is just going abselutly creazy and fighting and jumping of buildings and acting as if nothing can hurt him as he thinks it’s a dream.

And then we have ladybug who finds this hero on her home turf, acting absolutely crazy and kicking ass while doing it.

And bc Robin doesn’t think this is real anyway her flirts with her the whole time, but in a fun way.

This goes on for a while (it’s a long battle and Chat is nowhere to find (Adrian got killed early in the attack) (the miraculous cure will bring him back Don’t worry)) and then at one point robin does get hurt, and finally realize that like, shit this is not a dream.

And ladybug is like, I freaking wish it was a dream dude I have to fight this shit every second day.

Anyway, they have a angsts conversation and ladybug comes with a absolutely crazy battle plan that just leaves robin sitting there like??? I have had military levels strategy classes since I was 10 how tf did you make this plan?? And ladybug is like, it’s gonna work, trust me. And robin is like, bet.

(They do actually bet a date )

No surprise for anyone but robin, ladybugs plan works. And they win the battle and all is great + they have a icecream date at the lovers icecream place thingy.

( + a scene where Robin is like??? Why are shops still open y’all were just attacked, and ladybug is like, we do this everyday & we don’t have enough fucks left to give about this butterfly furry to shut down the stores everytime)

And then Robin has to go home and Ladybug gives him a lift with the butterfly miraculous.

(Droppes him of at the manor going “I found your birdy” and then winks at Robin and hearts away. That batfam is just there like???? The fucj just happened also are you okay?)

And then after that robin and Ladybug keep in contact over comes and do date night in each other’s city’s for a few months before something really dumb reveals their identities.

I love the headcanon that none of the Bats are supers, but over time? Gotham is slowly messing them up, one by one.

Bruce smiles at Clark one day in the Cave, and his eyes reflect the light back like a wolf's

Jason suddenly has tiny fangs, but nobody has the nerve to mention it

Alfred literally doesn't die

Dick can jump higher and faster than ever before, but barely notices it

Tim is awake for three days straight and doesn't blink

They're all subtly, but noticeably different. Gotham-blessed, or cursed, or something in between.

Group text

Dick: [laughing while looking at his phone] Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this

Tim: [looking at his phone] Oh my gosh

Damian: What? My phone is charging. Just tell spit it out

Dick: [in a Bruce voice] Weekend safety brief, One: don't add to the population; you know who you are. Two: don't SUBTRACT from the population; once again, you know who you are- [brakes off into more laughing]

Jason: [reading off the list] Three: stay out of the hospital, the newspaper and jail; please. Wow ye of little faith much?

Tim: [reading off the list] Four: if you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly and non lethally. Yeah, wow...

Damian: Tt. Of course he sent that knowing you heathens

Jason: Hey, "don't subtract from the population; you know who you are" your grouped right in there with me kiddo

Damian: [grumbles]

Tim: Well, at least us three aren't the "you know who you are" in the first one [looks at Dick]

Dick: [gasp] Hey!

Damian: True

Dick: [arms crossed] I don't know whether to be offended or laugh

Tim: [shrugs] If it makes you feel any better for all we know Bruce could have been referring to himself

Jason: [chokes on laughter]

I love how you know that and are willing to inflict it on the rest of us.

Two common Maribat tropes are:

Our favourite sassy butler is Marinette's godgrandfather.

Hawkbitch wins and the Batfam step in to help Mari stop him.

Thus, I propose this:

(TW for implied physical & domestic abuse)

Adribat AU where Gabriel succeeds in reviving Emilie & erases all memory of the Miraculous events from Parisians. Emilie is the only one who remembers his misdeeds and despite his memory loss, Adrien retains Chat Noir's instincts & defiance, much to Gabriel's displeasure. He forces them to play house with him and violently lashes out whenever they disobey.

One thing Gabriel couldn't erase was the friendship between the Graham de Vanilys and the Pennyworths. Thus, when Gabriel's abuse goes too far, she contacts Alfred & together, they smuggle Adrien to Gotham.

Alfred and Bruce are no longer young & the cowl is ready for Cassandra. Seeing Adrien's potential, Alfred personally trains him to take over his responsibilities so he can watch over the Batkids.

Between an enraged father, evil butterflies & the homo-magi community's unease, Adrien will find working for the Batfamily to be the least bizarre aspect of his life.

I know we all talk about Jason finding out Dick killed the Joker from Tim or one of the other batfam members, but what if:

One day he’s searching for blackmail material on a member just for fun and knows Damian keeps a list of all of them so he backs into the files and realised the folder with the heaviest inscription to unlock is one labelled “Contingencies”.

He opens it to find every single person in their family is on there and starts surfing through them. When he sees Tim’s he freezes, mentally filing away some horrific details for checking up on him later, Jason’s list is impressive but not much he didn’t expect…still concerned how he got the evidence though.

His fingers hesitate over Batman’s, and after thinking screw it what the hell clicks on it just to realise most of them are psychological, and had to do with Jason. One video showed Bruce as Jason remembered him from his robin days. He was pacing furiously in the Manor, tugging on his pocket square which for him was a high level of distress, before he went upstairs - to Jason’s room when he stayed there - and looked in. The change was sudden, Bruce’s shoulders sagged and his face grew into one of fondness, one he’d rarely seen before.

“I cant help it Alfred.. Scarecrow’s toxin.. I KNOW it isn’t real but.. I can’t stop thinking about it. What if -“ and Jason can’t really believe his ears, that was a fucking quiver in his voice- “What if one day it comes true?” “What was your worst fear Master Bruce?”.

“Jason..” and Jason flinches. “I.. I saw him die, and I was powerless. I cant lose him Alfred. I just cant.”

The recording ends, and it takes a while for Jason to realise he can’t breathe. He sends the file to himself and laughs bitterly, remembering what the fear toxin had shown him. Lucifer. It had shown him falling from Bruce’s grace, being his greatest disappointment. “Guess we both failed each other didnt we old man?”

After what feels like forever, when he can feel his fingers stop shaking his eyes drift over to Dicks.

Damian sure does adore him, wonder what the brats got in store for him.

Most of them were things he was sure Dick could handle, until a glitched file appeared which read “for EXTREME situations only.”

When he heard Joker laugh, Jason could’ve sworn he was in the cave. “Hello there old friend! Aww why the long face?”

Dick wasn’t facing the camera, but the sheer aura of destruction radiating off of him was enough for Jason to know Joker was in danger. Judging by his outfit and well- hair- this must’ve been years ago.

“Didn’t you like my..ah.. gift? It was quite the blast I hear!”

Dicks fists clenched. His usual smile was gone, replaced by a hatred so vile it could’ve rivalled batman’s glare. It was so odd.. seeing him so pissed.

“Well that’s what happens.. when birds get hit. They never see what’s right in front of them and then BAM!”

As his laughter rang out Jason heard Dick whisper something. It was so soft, quieter than he’d ever heard him and he found himself leaning forward.

“What’s that? How long he lasted? Well I counted everytime he screamed when I broke his bones so-“

“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!”

Jason stumbled back, nearly falling to the floor himself. Dicks voice was thundering, echoing across the cave.

What the hell had happened? Why was Dick so mad? Why wasn’t he smiling?

“You..killed him.”

And that’s when it hit Jason. Oh. This was after he’d died.

The joker was trying to say something, but Jason couldn’t hear him. All he could focus on was how Dick was behaving, how he was walking upto Joker. Jason had seen that before.

The intent to kill.

SLAM

The fight was brutal, and blood flew everywhere, mixed with the laughter and cries of the Joker while Dick yelled, YELLED so loudly he could’ve sworn the cave was shaking before the sound of a wet snap ricocheted and Dick went limp.

No.. no no no no.

He watched in horror as Dick stood up, drenched in blood and heaving. Dick had gone- no BEATEN- the joker for Jason.

But the longer he looked, the more he felt the Lazarus pit burning inside him.

The joker wasn’t moving.

Dick walked away, and in the shadows, with bloody fists and face of hatred could not see him as the Dick he knew.

“Dead.”

He looked up to hear Dick whisper to the thundering sky outside.

“I killed him Jason. The joker is dead. Rest in peace little wing.”

Jason’s feet gave out under him, and he crashed to the ground gasping for breath.

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought he had been avenged.

Never did he even think that Dick had only killed once… and only for him.

Some of My Favorite Batfam Fic Tropes

In no particular order:

 - The batfam have their own language of chirps, trills, tweets, and whistles, and they use it in front of other ppl (civilians, the jla, whatever) and the other ppl go “what the actual fuck”

 - Bruce throwing the batarang at Jason Todd’s neck actually Does Damage™, and eventually the other members of the family find out and lose their shit

 - “Hey Tim?” “Yeah?” “Where’s your fucking spleen :)” “Lost it.” “LOST IT??”

 - Damian calling his brothers Akhi :)

 - “How many kids do you HAVE??” -The entire Justice League

 - Jason going to Titans Tower, seeing Tim, saying “is anyone gonna parent that” and then not waiting for an answer.

 - Literal Toddler Tim Drake informing the Batfamily that yes he knows everyone’s identity, and really if you didn’t want people to figure it out you should stop showing off your extremely niche skills during patrols Nightwing.

 - “Dude your son is a crime boss.” “Ex-crime boss :/”

 - A Batfamily member hearing someone talk about their civilian identity (bc, yknow,, they’re famous) and just having to Deal With It because what the fuck else are they supposed to do??

 - The Justice League hearing about Batman and assuming he (& his family) are demons or vampires or some other cryptid, and then meeting him and finding out he’s just Some Guy.

 - The batfamily learning the origin of the name Robin

- The Justice League meeting the Batfamily and specifically learning who Red Hood is, and one of the heroes nervously asks “Didn’t the second Robin.. die?” and Jason just goes “yeah lol”

desperate for a tv show filmed like modern family or the kardashians of the batfam, titled “watch out for the waynes” or something like that.

bruce signed for the limited series to keep up appearances.

dick acts like a love island contestant.

damian is only ever in the corner of shots, staring into the soul of the cameraman.

cass, similarly, does not contribute much, but looks to the camera like she’s in modern family whenever shit happens.

tim finds every way to be the last laugh, the one-liner guy, the “unexpected, effortless, fan favourite™️”.

duke frequents the interview room.

jason sends subtextual messages to the audience through the books he’s seen reading in a scene:

bruce and tim are having a tiff about who’s idea is better while jason’s reading “the metamorphoses - book iii 339-358” (narcissus).

everyone’s having a grand old time at a gala while jason’s at a table reading “vile bodies”.

damian’s in a mood and nobody’s picked up on it yet while jason is seen reading “american psycho”.

nobody can find steph and tim and jason’s sat literally reading the back of a “dazed and confused” dvd to get his point across.