Do You Think Tim Holds Things Over His Brothers' Heads Whenever He Wants Something?

Hey Google what the fuck was that

My most referenced meme is actually this sign from a furniture store's going out of business sale in my hometown.

Thesis statement: 

  Batman is the Worlds Greatest Detective and thus is excellent at discovering facts about people; he however is far from the worlds best manipulator, but doesn’t realize this, mistaking his knowledge of a person for having the ability to use it effectively. Or in other words, Batman is not actually very good at mind games. Why do I say this? Well, lets look at Bruce’s relationships with some of his wards/apprentices or loved one’s, people who admire him, love him and whom he raised or taught. Surely of all the people in the world he would be able to get to do what he wants it would be them right? Wrong. Alfred literally quits his job several times and bails when Bruce is being too difficult to put up with for good or ill and Bruce never seems to know how to get him back or even notice a problem is mounting. Bruce raised Dick Grayson and was potentially at his kindest and most stable with him and Jason, yet despite that there was a several year long period where they constantly fought and barely talked and Bruce could not only not get his former ward to do what Bruce thought was best, but to listen to him at all. Similarly, when it came to how Jason’s trauma manifested as he grew older, while Bruce sympathized at times, he rarely seemed to actually know what to do and was often left playing catch up to Jason’s thoughts and feelings processes and the less said about how poorly they communicate as adults the better. Now for a double header, his relationship with Tim on paper seems OK, but leaning back on that ‘mind game’ thing I mentioned before. When Bruce decided it was time Stephanie learn at least some identities, he arranged the whole thing in secret, damaging her and Tim’s relationship with each other and him. Somehow this result flummoxed Bruce and he seemed apologetic… But also refused to actually do anything about it like change his behaviors. His handling of Stephanie in general is among the other better left unsaid things, because ’wow’. His relationship with Cass in the Batgirl 2000 comics is kind of a mixed bag, but she also thinks the world of him and is the most psychologically similar to him and even then I’d give him fifty fifty at best. Though his whole 'making Cass give up Batgirl’ thing was also poorly planned out given it mostly just upset and confused everybody involved and only worked out because it was either adapt or die. Long story short, if Bruce is incapable of using his intimate and generally positive relationships and insights on the people closest to him to get the results he wants…. Why on Earth would I think him capable of manipulating his various enemies?

Damian thinks Mari can't understand arabic (au)

Damian : "Good morning habib albi." "Have you eat ya hayati?" "I'm so glad I meet you ya amar..."

Marinette : *Trying so hard to hide her blush* "Yes..."

Daminette School AU Quotes

Lila: You know Marinette, it’s such a shame no one likes you, you’re actually quite useful when you know your place.

Marinette: (sighing) Lila, the bar for civility is so low it’s practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.

Lila: (smiling falsely) If you say something like that again, I’ll “trip” you out of that window you- What are you doing?

Marinette: (looking at the window) Checking how high the drop is, see if it’s worth it.

Damian: (sitting behind them on his phone, not looking up) Most humans can survive a two story fall, Dupain-Cheng. You’ll be fine.

Marinette: Aww, Lila wouldn’t make it then?

Lila: (fuming) Excuse me!?

Marinette: He said humans, and since you’ve clearly escaped from hell you’ll probably just shatter into a thousand pieces and reform there.

Damian: (under his breath) The devil doesn’t want her back.

I know that its basically canon that Jason's not afraid of death and thus acts the most reckless possible because he's already been there done that, right? And its not like theres anything worse than death, so he might as well go all in at all times, but what if he was instead terribly afraid of dying? Not because of death itself but because there is something worse that death, and it's coming back from it.

Jason knows death is not that bad really, because at least the pain stops, then. But coming back? That's what truly terrifies him, and it's only possible if he dies.

He has a thousand contingencies in place to make sure that if he does die again (and theres a half thought there of going out to find a way to never die, because no matter what he suffers after, it's never going to be worse than coming back), nothing is able to bring him back.

One night, a freak explosion leaves him seriously injured, a stray metal shard digging itself deep in his stomach. As the bats rush him back to the cave, delirious from the pain and blood loss, Jason begs Bruce to please, please, get rid of my body, dad, I dont wanna come back again, please swear to me you won't bury me again.

And Bruce, poor Bruce, has to look his son in the eyes and tell him that yes, he'll make sure he doesn't come back again (and oh, how does it hurt, knowing that the best thing that happened to you is the worst pain you son will ever feel).

Jason steps into fights only when he knows every single detail of it, and it's what makes him ten times more efficient and just as much scarier to criminals. He is swift when dealing out justice, and as precise as a surgeon. No one really escapes him, be it petty criminals or mob bosses.

He still gets hurt a great deal, because his pain tolerance is definitely fucked up, and he knows his limits, so he can tell when a wound is nothing to get worried about.

Daminette Headcanon #??

Meet cute/meet disaster opportunity in Gotham. So Marinette is new to the city, and her stash of fabric and notions is completely depleted because she had to downsize when moving across the Atlantic (she had way too much stuff to ship with her.) So she's trying to find Gotham's fabric district which does exist... but it's frequented mainly by villains or henchpeople who need fabric for their costumes. Otherwise, everyone just buys online. Marnette though needs to see her stuff in person, needs to feel the fabric and test stretch and shit. So she's struggling down the street burdened by like five bags and a whole bolt of fabric and Damian (overachiever that he is) is doing an early evening patrol as Robin, and sees this little slip-of-nothing girl walking out of a fabric store that is definitely only frequented by villains and is a front for a local gang, and thinks 'oh, this is a new villain and/or she's being blackmailed to create new outfits' and so he prepares to swing down and interrogate her. Now Marinette, total badass that she is, can handle herself (yes, all her friends and family told her she shouldn't move to Gotham, but she's a hero too and Gotham ain't got shit on Hawkmoth) and she knows this isn't the best part of town, but it's the only place that has fabric stores, and the prices are really good so of course, she's gonna stock up. She knows she looks like an easy target but she is not. But bad guys don't know that, so a pair of idiots come up to her on the street and start harassing her and trying to rob her. One goes to hit her, and she totally backhands them and then knocks them both out flat in under 30 seconds. Not a hair out of place and all of her purchases are still safe and sound. And Robin is shocked up above (and kinda turned on) and is now definitely thinking that this girl is the newest up-and-coming supervillain, and he hears her mutter, "these fools have nothing on Paris." And so he swings down, intrigued, and wanting to know who this new danger is. He doesn't want to be too sus at first though and asks if she's fine (Richard would be proud of how far he's come at interpersonal skills) Of course, Marinette knows who the local heroes are (she doesn't want to step on anyone's toes after all) and so is very friendly at first, and basically says, "I'm okay and don't need any help, after all, you don't survive long in Paris if you can't handle yourself, but it's nice to know Gotham's heroes are looking out." And Robin doesn't know if that's meant to be a threat or sincere. And so he offers to walk her home because that's what a hero would do with a normal civilian right?? Not one that he was trying to gauge what their notorious schemes are, right?? But Marinette easily agrees, and in her mind, is just happy to get a read on the local heroes, and just chats with Robin the whole way home about Gotham and what amazing styles she can get from its local design and architecture. And Damian is so?? confused??? Is this girl an artist? IS she a villain artist?? What kind of schemes are going to happen here. And so he obviously has to know more about this amazi- he means potentially dangerous woman, and so when he sees her safely home asks to maybe, visit? Again? And Marinette is all like 😁😁 Sure, happy to help Gotham's heroes however she can. Damian is like 'perfect, I have managed to open a line of inquiry into a potential threat, now I just need to visit often- I mean monitor her carefully to figure out her plans' and Marinette is just like, 'The Gotham heroes are much more welcoming than I thought they would be. I got fabric, beat up some baddies, and made a new friend all in one evening!'

Their falling in love is kinda inevitable.

Give me more tired boi Bruce Wayne!

His sleep schedule must be absolutely fucked. My mom worked nights for years and even now that she hasn't been for over four years, she's still basically nocturnal. So Bruce 'Running around as a bat at night' Wayne has no hope.

I want constantly tired Bruce. A tiredness that no coffee or stimulant will fix. A tiredness that comes with trying to solve every problem around you by yourself for years.

The family is eating breakfast? Bruce has his head down on the table asleep while everyone else is chatting. Cass covers his food for him to eat later.

At a board meeting? Everyone else thinks he's wearing shades indoors to be pretentious but Tim knows that it's to hide the fact that he's conked out.

There's a gala on? People wonder where Bruce Wayne has disappeared to, if he's taken some pretty girl (or guy) back to a room to show her a good time. In reality, Dick saw him nearly topple over while talking to someone so he swooped in and led Bruce to a back room for him to nap.

That's why Batman is rarely seen during the day. Not because he doesn't want to be but because he just cannot function whatsoever due to his exhaustion.

It makes him feel a bit bad cause he wants to spend more time with his kids outside of the cowl. He wants to go to more petting zoos with Damian, do more puzzles with Duke and have more cooking lessons with Jason.

He tries his best but all the batkids can tell he's genuinely exhausted. They cover him with blankets when they catch him napping in random places. They try and be a bit quieter when he's asleep. Y'know just make things a little easier.

And while some of them will deny it (read: Jason) their favourite activity to do with their Dad is all cuddling up and taking a nap together.

cough cough @bruciemilf

ya know how it’s canon that damian was taking acting lessons with carrie? and that he was really good at it?

what if that’s his civilian job when he’s older?

like we know some of the bats have civilian jobs. bruce, obviously, runs WE. tim is CEO. dick is a cop.

what if damian’s civilian job is an actor?

i know it wouldn’t make total sense bc he’d probably have to leave set randomly in the middle of a scene because he’d have to go on a mission but hear me out.

we know he loved acting because he gets to be someone else. carrie says this:

and then damian says the same thing in super sons

yeah he could’ve been saying that to fuck with jon but because carrie said the same thing, i think he was being honest.

and besides, look at how he played that old man. that is a jolly old fella and i personally read it in sweet old man voice.

and the disguises he always chooses when going undercover are outfits like these

and yes you could say that it’s just a gag bit the writer put in to be funny or you could say that that’s how damian feels like “normal” people dress and he’s trying to fit in but to me!! i feel like it’s him trying to be the opposite of how he is. you know, being somebody else.

plus he’s so good with voices. he could easily put on any accent necessary.

and so i think he would be an actor. yeah, he wouldn’t be able to be in gotham all the time filming movies and stuff, but personally i love the idea of damian being like dick and moving out of gotham to become his own hero/person.

he’d get the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be someone else, someone who wasn’t taught to kill someone before they could walk, someone who wasn’t forced to grow up way too fast, someone who doesn’t have to risk their life every single night, somebody who doesn’t have to hold possibly the world’s biggest secret. he could embrace being a completely different person, even if it’s only for a few hours at a time.

and imagine how funny it would be for the batfamily to turn on their tv and watch their mean, stern little brother have a wide smile with an australian accent in a romantic comedy.

jason storming out of the manor after damian insulted him 30 times and then he turns on his tv to get his mind off it and there damian is on a beach searching for treasure side-by-side with tom holland

damian in a wired google search interview and the first result is “is damian wayne robin?” and damian just sighs.

damian on a press tour in an interview and he’s just shooting the shit with jennifer anniston.

tim watching the tiktok edits of damian and just silently fuming at the comments that are like “he’s so babygirl”

damian getting an offer for a star wars movie and yeah, he might hate star wars because the lightsaber duels follow no sword fighting etiquette but he takes the role anyways so that tim can’t watch his beloved star wars without seeing damian wielding a light saber with ewan mccgregor

would dc do it? no definitely not and logistically it wouldn’t work because crimefighter hours probs do not mesh with 14 hour days on set. however!! imagine damian in a buzzfeed puppies interview.

Roadside Inspiration

“Eyes on the road!” Adrien’s voice boomed throughout the car; voice distorted through the car speakers.

Marinette squeaked, eyes snapping back to the road as the car swerved slightly, which on the backroad she was on, was particularly dangerous.  The roads were narrow with no shoulders.  There was barely enough room for two cars and no room for error.  “Don’t do that!” she screeched back, one hand flying to her chest to calm her now racing heart.  “And I am keeping my eyes on the road.  I know how to drive a car, Adrien!” she growled, fully ignoring the fact that at the time, her eyes were not, in fact, on the road.

“You’re seriously going to tell me you aren’t allowing yourself to get distracted looking for the perfect view in all the lavender?” he scoffed.

Marinette opened her mouth and snapped it shut.  “Yes,” she answered resolutely, with a curt nod to emphasize the point despite knowing full well that he couldn’t see it.

Adrien snorted at the baldfaced lie.  “Sure, Maribug.  We’re just leaving Marseilles now.  How far from the venue are you?”

“Prat,” she grumbled.  She may get easily distracted and she may not be used to driving a car, it wasn’t like she had many opportunities in Paris, but she was an excellent scooter driver and really, how different was it?  And she was keeping her eyes on the road!  It was just the occasional glance to the side to look at the stretching fields of lavender.  It was a positive thing really.  They encourage you to be aware of your surroundings when you drive!

Keep reading