It's Slave Labor Cause The Oompa Loompas Were Taken Out Of Their Country And Now Working For You, You

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

Lmfao I'm so sorry they got you involved with that they swore we were being mean ☠️

Just had some kid message me about being allegedly bullied by some of my followers, I blocked him.

Here's why: Number one: I'm not sure what happened. Number two: I'll never understand why some people think that just because they're having drama with followers of another person, that the person they're following is automatically involved or responsible for the others' behavior. I am not a parent. I am not part of the tumblr team. Half of my followers are obviously adults and I don't have any more authority than the next person to stop or encourage other people's behavior. I am busy running a factory - not a daycare, I don't get involved with petty online drama that doesn't concern me, even if the people involved are friends or followers. There's no point in messaging me about matters that have nothing to do with my factory or me personally. There are block and report options for a reason. Use them.

I hate having to post this, I'm terribly sorry. That just annoyed the living daylights out of me. Just as I was enjoying a nice glass of wine and-ugh. I digress.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. Good evening.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

I'm cold. That's it. That's what I've been feeling all day.

Aww, maybe you should drink a cup of hot chocolate. That always warms me up!

Your 42 I thought you was like 31 or 35 cuz 35-20 and all but you look young af what's your skin care routine? 😂😂

No, going by your assessment I would've been only 15 years old at the time I opened my first store on Cherry Street, dear. I hadn't even graduated school. I opened my store in my early twenties. The factory was built by the time I was 27. Fifteen years later, I'm 42. Easy math. Anyone could do it.

Knuck if you buck 😂😂😂 sorry

I need to have a word with you and Edward privately please. 😁 IMMEDIATELY 😠

Oh...

Yeah sure, one moment, Tarrant.

You have a very pretty nose

That's such an odd compliment, haha! You're weird.

You're so hot Willy

Day 37464738383 of me asking your age 😂😂😂

You don't give up so easily, do you? I'll give.

I'm 42.

😂😂😂

somebody get this bootleg underage willy wonka outta here 😭 @coffeescandyshop #notmywonka

Hands up for @thewillywonka #mywonkaaa #zebest 🎉🎊🎀

Why's that?

You can call me anything you want to, by the way. I don't really label myself regarding pronouns and stuff.

Even if you referred to me as "it" like I was some piece of furniture.

Oh, I could never refer to a human as an "it". That would feel very disrespectful. Unless, of course, they're not human. However, pronouns and gender identities nowadays can be very confusing for me, there are many and I grew up in a much simpler time.

So in that case, I'll just stick to simplifying the conundrum by referring to you as anonymous, if that's alright with you of course. ☺️

But why not just follow us? I want to be followed dammit -pouts- >:3

Because if I follow you now then I run the risk of not liking you later, for whatever reason. And if I decide that I don't care for you later then I'll have to unfollow you. The much easier fix is to just not follow at all.

And don't worry, it's not just you or anything I have against you. I just don't follow anyone back cause people aren't my thing.