At Least It Ain't Mike

At least it ain't mike

Would you like to be friends? 😁😄😃

Ha ha...no.

Because you see, most people aren't going to put the same amount of effort in that I do...and that is the biggest form of rejection to me. The worst kind, actually. Friends let you down, or people you trust betray you and steal your secret chocolate recipes, why should I want them? Besides, The Buckets, Hatter and Edward are my dearest friends. I have no more tolerance for others. Maybe you should ask Edward, he told me that it gets lonely up in that stuffy castle sometimes, and unfortunately I can't visit often. He lives quite the distance and my factory is demanding.

More Posts from Coolpaperoafparty and Others

4 years ago

What's going down in the factory today? Here we are! The fermentation process of cocoa beans. Besides just being a pretty good looking piece of chocolate there is a lot that has to be done at the factory before we can start making chocolate.

Exhibit A: The process of fermentation.

What's Going Down In The Factory Today? Here We Are! The Fermentation Process Of Cocoa Beans. Besides

This harvest is a test sample of the fermentation process. It's being tested to see if fermentation is complete, and it's not yet ready as the seeds are indicating that it needs to be fermented a little longer. This is just one of the many other tasks that are done at the factory that requires the knowledge and experience necessary for producing good chocolate. In other words, you gotta have the beans!

We are so excited for our next batch of Wonka bar releases and can't wait to share them with you all. In the meantime, enjoy our current chocolates and stay tuned for what's to come!

And to the Americans celebrating, happy Memorial Day!

- Willy Wonka 🍫

4 years ago

No insult to your hair, and your hair is great (it looks so silky...)

I'm just weird and sometimes get thoughts like that when I look at people.

For some reason I think that Charlie Bucket likes spiders and snails and all that stuff. Or at least tolerates them.

Hm, you're a very strange little cocoa bean...

Ugh, no! Absolutely not. I wouldn't ever allow Charlie to bring those furry little creepy crawlers into the factory. I'd have my Oompa Loompas exterminate them at once! Bugs and insects are not to be around my precious chocolate, or anything else for that matter. That's just disgusting.

3 years ago

Are you and that cocoa bean girl dating?

My Cocoa Bean? Uh, no, we're just um...whatever you call it when two people enjoy each other's company. That.

What made you think we were-nevermind.

3 years ago

Your laugh is cute

Thank you! Your compliment is cuter.

4 years ago

Can you dumb this down

How do you come up with your financial planner/organization?

I organize percentages, range, demographic (that mostly being children), costs, income and do's and donuts (do nots), get it? Ahaha!

Ahem. Excuse the sloppy handwriting, I was in a rush. This is basically a short overview of the benefits to what's called "affiliate marketing." It's a pretty simple concept. For instance, you want an online store to sell your brand of candy. So you search out and find what's called an "affiliate network" and advertise your goodies to a seller, or an affiliate marketer. Should you be lucky enough to get someone interested in selling your shiz-na-ee, they would then set up a website or link to your line of candy. And every time you make a sell from their links or site, you both get paid. In other words, you have sustainable income, depending on how popular you are of course, and they pocket what's called a "commission", a sum of money earned through sales. You know how those greedy and money hungry YouTubers get paid a percentage by a sponsor just to shove a product down your cute little throat? Same thing, really. Unless you're the greedy YouTuber. But isn't that neat? You can still market your business right from your bedroom with ease. And in the times of Coronavirus where people can't physically go out to stores as much, this is my newest strategy, because I have to keep that revenue coming in! And the rest is pretty much the basic 101 stuff. Blah, blah, blah, economic decline, global panic, business thingy, you understand? Great! Loved your question, by the way!

How Do You Come Up With Your Financial Planner/organization?
How Do You Come Up With Your Financial Planner/organization?
3 years ago

Faxx 😁💙🍬

somebody get this bootleg underage willy wonka outta here 😭 @coffeescandyshop #notmywonka

Hands up for @thewillywonka #mywonkaaa #zebest 🎉🎊🎀

4 years ago

When veruca got attacked by the squirrels were you pretending to look for the key or could you really not find it lol? 🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️🐿️

Contrary to popular belief, I seriously couldn't remember which key it was. But I warned her about those squirrels. They can be vicious little suckers and she was a bad nut! A very bad nut...yeah.

4 years ago

Oh noooooo *gay voice*

I'm atta dentist and I'm scared

I feel for you. The dentist is still one of my biggest fears. I wish I could help you feel better, but frankly I'm all out of words of encouragement. But unless you're having a serious operation done, you should be dandy. You could always ask for numbing gel, that way you won't feel a thing.

4 years ago

I got sunburned :(

Ouch. Put some ointment on that and you'll be fine.

4 years ago

I'm sorry I didn't know I was just taught that when a white man bring people over from a foreign country to his to work it's slavery 😐

You haven't a clue how slavery works, dear. First of all, you have to be a slave to be a slave and slaves they are not. They are happy, healthy, paid and dearly loved Oompa Loompas. Understood? 'Kay? 'Kay. Moving along.

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