Can You Sing For Us?

Knew it lol

Aaaaaaand she does like you

So I've heard.

Since Miss Hoffmann brought it up:

Do u have a driving license I genuinely want to know

A what?!

Oh! Yeah, heh, no. We do have motorized bikes and trucks here for my workers, though - they drive into town and handle whatever business needs to be handled. I do know how to somewhat operate a jet, just enough to travel back and forth between the factory and small countries. And I use the glass elevator for daily transportation. I spent so many years dedicating my life to my work and 'til today I guess I just forgot those driver's "thingies" exist. Or I never found much use in owning one myself.

Sometimes I think about throwing myself into one of your machineries because my back hurts so bad I need to be cracked like a glowstick

That's terrible. I don't know if throwing yourself into any machines would do anything other than harm you.

It might be best to go to a spa and allow someone to give you a massage. Maybe let a person walk on your back?

Good morning, folks! Rise and shine, wipe the boogers from your eyes! It's show and tell time! ✨

You guys ever had chocolate soda? No? Then you're in luck!

Behold! The Berry Berry room. This very room is specially designed for soda pop creations beyond the wildest flavors. Everything from Root Beer to Chocolate Berry Blast. Which just so happens to be the new flavor we're still processing through our machine.

The Export and Float machine (above) fills every 12 oz bottle up with some of Wonka's magic ingredients!

But as you can see, we've tried it at least two hundred times and every bottle of soda came out a bit differently. In wonky shapes and sizes. So this is still in the works.

But with every trial and error, we've gotten a bit closer to our goal! Putting these babies in every store on every shelf!

That's all for now from the factory.

More updates to come soon! Til then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

Are you and that cocoa bean girl dating?

My Cocoa Bean? Uh, no, we're just um...whatever you call it when two people enjoy each other's company. That.

What made you think we were-nevermind.

It's slave labor cause the oompa loompas were taken out of their country and now working for you, you know that right??

Of course not! Don't be ridiculous. It's only slave labor when you're taken forcefully and forced to work against your will for no wages. That goes against my code. The Oompa Loompas agreed to come work in the factory because they would be living in better conditions and would have their precious cocoa beans in trade for their work. It was a business agreement, which is the same as a verbal contract. How you could imply such a nonsensical accusation with so much confidence and very little knowledge is entirely beyond me.

Good evening, everyone.

Announcement: My Oompas Loompas are hosting a pajama movie party this Friday at 9PM PST, sharp. They will be live streaming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and chatting on Discord, and they've invited you to attend!

How exciting!

If you would like to join then simply message me further instructions.

Til then.

- Willy Wonka 🍫

Can you dumb this down

How do you come up with your financial planner/organization?

I organize percentages, range, demographic (that mostly being children), costs, income and do's and donuts (do nots), get it? Ahaha!

Ahem. Excuse the sloppy handwriting, I was in a rush. This is basically a short overview of the benefits to what's called "affiliate marketing." It's a pretty simple concept. For instance, you want an online store to sell your brand of candy. So you search out and find what's called an "affiliate network" and advertise your goodies to a seller, or an affiliate marketer. Should you be lucky enough to get someone interested in selling your shiz-na-ee, they would then set up a website or link to your line of candy. And every time you make a sell from their links or site, you both get paid. In other words, you have sustainable income, depending on how popular you are of course, and they pocket what's called a "commission", a sum of money earned through sales. You know how those greedy and money hungry YouTubers get paid a percentage by a sponsor just to shove a product down your cute little throat? Same thing, really. Unless you're the greedy YouTuber. But isn't that neat? You can still market your business right from your bedroom with ease. And in the times of Coronavirus where people can't physically go out to stores as much, this is my newest strategy, because I have to keep that revenue coming in! And the rest is pretty much the basic 101 stuff. Blah, blah, blah, economic decline, global panic, business thingy, you understand? Great! Loved your question, by the way!

But grandpa joe said he worked for you 20 yrs ago

Yes, and 20 years ago I would've been 22, when he was working at my store on Cherry Street.

Imagine being 30 & using tumblr 😬😬😬....