Yearning Not Even For Anyone In Particular I Just Want Sighhhhhhhh

did it ever mean anything to you?

the adolescent kisses in the dark, the shared cigarettes, the late nights, the early mornings, the drunken words, the secrets only we knew, the gifts, the letters, the “i love you”s and shared wardrobes really meant nothing?

was i always that disposable?

i know i wasn’t what you wanted, but i thought that maybe i could be what you needed. i know that’s selfish, i’m sorry. you were everything to me. the light in the inescapable darkness, the sugar in my coffee, the luck of finding a $20 bill on the ground. you were everything valuable in my world. everything worth living for.

i know now that our legacy is nothing but tainted memories and forgotten polaroids, and i know i should shelf the image of you, but i can’t help but miss you. i miss my boyfriend, i miss my best friend. no one knows me like you did, and i’m terrified no one else ever will.

i know to you it was just one summer and some change, but to me it was the most idyllic period of my life. it was the summer of love, though later unrequited. did you ever mean it when you told me you loved me?

whatever i’m just rambling and stuff, no one really sees these posts anyway. i just miss the feeling of being special to someone.

so insanely fucked up that i have to spend the rest of my life working like. ten times as hard to function as a normal person because of shit that wasn't my fault. wdym i have to spend the rest of my life medicated and in therapy just because my parents were mean to me and then died?????????????? like at what point is that shit worth it because i'm medicated and going to therapy and i still have absolutely zero hope for myself. nothing has changed except the fact that everything has gotten progressively worse and it's my fault but i don't know how to end the cycle i genuinely can't take this

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

I hate Christmas

thinking...

noah jupe as otis lort in honey boy (2019) dir. alma har’el

pretty odd my beloved

Go on, grab your hat and fetch a camera

Go on, film the world before it happens

I listened to pretty odd on repeat the other day while studying, woke up this morning to see panic had replaced LANA DEL REY as my second most streamed artist.

Pretty Odd and A fever are two of the most amazingly crafted pieces of art on this earth.

Guyliner beauty segment featuring Pete Wentz, Ryan Ross and Brendon Urie

No one was harmed in the making of this moment

Sorry for acting weird I foresaw omens in my youth that came to fruition

you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try you can’t outrun grief no matter how hard you try