Happy 2018 Bitches!!! (Foreign Places Always Get The Good Shit)

inaccurate Core Four quotes #4

Tim: It costs 400 dollars to go see a therapist but it costs 0 to tell yourself "It be like that sometimes"

Kon, softly: Wha- No. Are you okay?

Cassie: Aren't you rich?

Bart: But, what if I start taxing you every time you say that?

Tim: Do you wanna die, Bart?

Bart: This is an economy, Tim. Nothing you do is free.

Cassie: Bart, who taught you that?

Bart, shrugging: I read it in a book somewhere.

Kon: uhm...

Cassie: Tim, you're literally rich, just pay for therapy.

Tim: No.

Bart: Why not?

Tim: Cause eat the rich.

Tim: Also student debt.

Bart: You're gonna eat somebody??

Kon: Bart, remember when we talked about metaphores?

Bart: That makes a lot more sense.

Cassie: You all need therapy.

Kon: And you don't?

Cassie: I punch things. That's theraputic.

Bart: What's therapy?

Kon: ...

Cassie: ...

Tim: ...

Cassie: Tim-

Tim, dialing Black Canary's number: Already on it.

Kon: Are you telling me you've never talked about your problems to anyone?

Bart: Why would I? problems are meant to be solved by yourself as a self discovering journy and bottled up emotions.

Kon: where'd you learn that?

Bart: Steven Universe.

Cassie: Guys, can we focus please?

Tim: She's on her way.

Bart: Who's on her way?

Cassie, wrapping a blanket around Barts shoulders: Shhh, we're gonna take care of you now.

Bart: But I'm fine-

Tim: There there, speed demon. You're in good hands.

Bart: ... sniffs thank you.

Kon: nods approvingly

Bart needs one of these shirts. Right sprocking now.

steph made the shirts for them <3

cass - batgirl (2000) #25 and 72, with a bonus near-death experience in #62

damian - batman inc. (2012) #8, robin: son of batman #5 and #13, teen titans (2016) #40/41, and robin (2021) #1

Bart, trying hard to be the distraction: I'm so sorry about this. It's my assistant that makes all the reservations, and she's been under heavy medications. She was recently diagnosed with Parvo.

Bad guy: Isn't that a dog's disease?

Bart, watching Tim sneak behind the desk: Yes, yes, it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever. Adorable, but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago, but she's a rescue and I just didn't have the heart.

inaccuate Bamfam quotes

Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?

batchildren™: crickets

Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!

Jason, from the back: We're adopted!

Bruce: Damian isn't.

Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.

Everyone else: ...

Bruce: Tim?

Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...

Bruce:... Jason?

Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.

Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.

Dick: Nope.

Bruce: sigh of relief

Dick: Only Wally!

Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...

inaccurate Batfam quotes #2

Jason: Is it worse to wear a Fedora or kill fifteen people?

Dick: ...Why is that even in question?

Jason: What if I kill fifteen people wearing a fedora?

Tim: It's a Fedoral Crime.

Damian: I'm about to kill you all if you don't stop.

a most beloved scammer ❤️

He <3

bart allen i love you

inaccurate Batfam quotes #26

Jason Todd 100% listens to "Look what you made me do" by Taylor Swift

When it says "The old Taylor can't come to the phone right now. Why? Cause she's dead." He always replaces it with his name.

He sings it jumping from roof to roof while everyone's radio silent and his code name is Taylor.

If anyone asks him why, he says "Cause it's a mood"

New headcanon that Jason and Bart flirt with each other over coms like how Derek and Garcia from criminal minds talk over the phone.

Bart: You’ve reached the line of ‘saving your souls’. How can I help you today.

Jason: Hey, Angel, need you to track (random specific stuff) for me.

Bart: Do I get a reward if I do, hot stuff?

Better yet would be the absolute mortification of everyone else on the line and they would find it so funny.

Jason: You’re on speaker so behave.

Bart: or what? You’ll spank me?

Tim, bashing his forehead into the batdesk:

-

Jason, looking Bart up and down: ‘Afternoon, gorgeous.

Bart: I have pretty eyes or beautiful thighs, only pick one to stare at at a time.

Dick: … I- I’ll just leave you two be.

-

Jason: Imp, angel, tell me something I wanna hear.

Bart: you’re a statuesque God chiselled of beefy marble.

Jason: … something I don’t know.

Damian, slowly unsheathing his katana and plotting murder: Tell us about the case, you abomination.