I Went To Follow You After Seeing Someone Reblog Your Bart Allen's Height Post And Then I Accidentally

WAR AGAINST ANTI-VAX MOMS

Ok, Karen, listen up. I’ve fucking devised a plan and you can’t stop me. Okay, so, tiny robot mosquitoes, right? But instead of sucking blood, they inject vaccines. They have specific targets each and will return to HQ to be cleaned as to not spread any blood spread viruses. There should be a hotline for people to call to say no one will vaccinate them and it should be called the MDA. Mosquito Delivery Agency in long terms. This is a legit theory I made in the sum of two minutes after no sleep in two days.

IM SORRY I SAID BART LOOKED LIKE THE BUFF FAIRY FROM FAIRLY ODD PARENTS. I FORGET OTHER PEOPLE READ TAGS I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY I PROMISE LMAO

YO, I THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS AND I READ ALL THE TAGS FROM OTHER POSTS + REPOSTS THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVES SKAKKAKSJAKKSKSJK PLZZ WHEN I READ THAT I LAUGHT FOR A SOLID TWO MINUTES

NO BETA, WE DIE LIKE ROBINS

Brief explanation of all of Bart’s deaths.

Hi, back by unpopular demand, ME! (Updated this cause Bart has died YET AGAIN in the timespan of this post and now, also I forgot one. So yes, Bart has died a total of five times now.💀) this is Jaybart rantpost part 2.

So, as I said in the last post, I'd explain Bart's three (Now 5) separate deaths. So without further ado, lets get on with angst!

Smallsville sacrifice: Bart actually ends up sacrificing himself for Clark Kents sake and many more in Smallsville, Giving up his speed to the Black Flash or the "grim reaper" of the speedforce. Nasty lookin guy, all black and withered. Hard to miss. He gives up his speed since his is the only one that's "pure" as Reaper Flash says, afterwards being struck by a Zeus load of lightning. After the light died down, the only thing left was a lightning bolt insignia on the ground where Bart stood. His last words were "smell ya later." (Have I mentioned how much I love him?)

Thad Thawne and the rouges: (I love Thad and I need you to understand that he's not entirely at fault for his actions, no thad hate under this roof.) Anyway, Thad was able to convince, with much bargaining, the Rouges to aid his defeating of his Twin Clone, Bart. Bart looked much older, and had taken the name Flash after everyone else "mysteriously" lost their speed and Wally was gone. So a plan was made, a fight took place, Bart was defeated and later on the Rouges weren't too thrilled about it. Just read the comic, I promise it's great. Right after he died Wally returned as Flash and soon Bart was ressurected but as a teenager again?? And then he took back his title Impulse. Don't ask.

Killed Clone: Okay, so this one is a little bit different from those cause he does technically die, but it's not by normal conventional means so let me explain. Bart has many powers that are unique from the speedforce like his speed sympathy; the ability to feel when another person in the speedforce is in trouble. One of these powers is his speed scouts. He can draw energy from the speedforce to duplicate himself with multiple carbon copies, like Naruto. Anyway, all of them are connected. If one thinks, that thought is communicated between all of them. If one is hurt, they all feel it. So after he was using them in a battle, one of his speed scouts was killed, right in front of him. He was able to feel them die, and feel himself dying even though his pain was falsified and the shock sent him into a coma that later on killed him. After he was ressurected... again, he swore to never use his speed scouts again.

White Flash: In an end-of-the-world scenerio, Barry Allen has to face the speedforce and try to speed his way to save the planet, but he wasn't fast enough. (A common reoccurring theme in Flash comics) so mama speed sent Bart as her massiah to deliver them victory. I'll share with you a quote cause it's better at explaining this than I am: “Grandpa! No time to explain. I can feel it... feel the speedforce all around me... feel it in me... now that I’ve caught up with you, I can Help. This is what I’m meant to do— it’s not enough, what you’re doing now. You’re going to need every bit you can get... every bit that’s in this weird reality... the speedforce sent me around the universe... I collected it for you... took it from Max, Wally, Jay, everyone..! I’ve come through time and space and this universe to become the speedforce’s ultamate messenger, so I could tell you this: run, grandpa. Run and save our world.” Basically he gives up all his speed and the others, sacrificing himself (AGAIN) for the greater good so that Barry might have a chance in saving their time. He turns into the White Flash right before his molecules were torn apart and he ceases, now one with the speedforce.

(SPOILERS FOR FLASH: FUTURE STATE): Bart, Max, and Barry were all looking for ways to bring Wally back from being basically possessed by Famine- yes, the one from the four horsemen. He was apparently inprisoned in the speedforce and took away all the others speed. They found a way to save him, but it was guarded by villains. Bart uses the prisma goggles and gadgets he stole. He rode into the room on a rainbow- try telling me that's not gay. you Can't. Anywho, he stole it from the calculator man, who then shot him with a laser seconds before Max electricuted him. Sad day to have to explain such a badass character was killed by someone named calculator man. At least it wasn't calendar man...

inaccuate Bamfam quotes

Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?

batchildren™: crickets

Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!

Jason, from the back: We're adopted!

Bruce: Damian isn't.

Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.

Everyone else: ...

Bruce: Tim?

Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...

Bruce:... Jason?

Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.

Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.

Dick: Nope.

Bruce: sigh of relief

Dick: Only Wally!

Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...

I want more Bart Allen and Jason Todd tropes

Okay, listen, because this is like hella important:

Jason Todd dies when he's still a young robin, he gets yeeted into the dirty regen bath and returns with a vengence that just hits different

Bart Allen dies as Impulse, Flash, and Kid Flash (I'll explain those in a bit) and comes back then continues to pretend like nothing happened, cause he doesn't wanna talk about it. He never does, that's just him.

So These two are already like peas in a pod-ish, but I feel like they'd have this amazing dynamic.

Bart likes to talk a lot, Jay is pretty sassy and quick to comment but not too talkative, so I feel like they'd have good discussions. Plus, Jay loves liturature and Bart is a stickler for facts about lit and science. They'd have plenty of intellectual conversations.

Jason would see past Bart's persona facade pretty easy, Bart feels more comfortable around him cause they've been through similar stuff and it takes a while but they help each other open up.

Bart would be a great outsider. He's a time anomaly, angsty speedster with way too much internalised pain from all his experiences. (Yj really didn't do him justice, pun intended) Also, he's a great drawer.

I have so much more but Im running out of rant energy rn so I'll continue in another post sometime.

Bart: what if go evil and run towards you at high speeds?

Kon: My arms are very strong. I would catch you and I would hug you.

Bart Allen, seeking approval from a super villain, part: this happens so often

Tim, absolutely sleep deprived and not even drinking coffee at this point, just inhaling caffeine: Life if just a long bingo game and the reward is death.

Jason, also sleep deprived and an intellectual: the fuck are you on about? Death is controlled by the three sisters past, present, and future with their magic scissors and thread.

Bart, ALSO sleep deprived and sprawled out on the couch and Jason’s lap: Be my Hercules.

Jason: Bold of you to assume I’m not Meg.

Tim, dropping his head in his hands: My life amounts to nothing more than a thread.

Bruce, extremely concerned for all of them: … okay.

❝ i gotta run! ❞