Me Trying To Explain To My Friend Why I Felt Fine An Hour Earlier And Why I Feel Bad Now (I Have BPD):

I don't feel like I exist in reality if no one notices me. But relying on people's approval is never a good idea.

i crave being someone’s first choice so bad. why does no one ever choose me over others?

when is it my turn to get taken cared of? im tired of always providing but never receiving…

"Scratch that. I want to be loved. I want her to love me."

INTRODUCTION, I Would Leave Me If I Could, Halsey

@/gloomygast on pinterest

digital painting I did of my boyfriend and I a while back. he is my world

All my life, I have been living for other people. Most of the decisions I have made were because someone else wanted me to make them. It's time to start living for myself, but I have no interest in life at all. Killing myself will be the most selfish thing that I will ever do, but at least it will be my own decision.

what the fuck did i do SO wrong that i have to feel like this for the rest of my life

I know I am being obsessive. I know I am truly not anything special to you.

I also know I can’t stop myself from being overly invested in an FP that may not ever feel anything for me.

i am excessive when i love someone and i am cruel when i hate someone. i want to be gentle. i don't want to be this way.