Crazzyyyramblings - Crazy

nothing about adulting excites me, it just makes me remember that I’m forced to be alive on this earth and I can’t even take myself out of it guilt free

“Absent Father“

1. “Hey “dad” I did it without you.”

2. “Having kids doesn’t make you a father raising them does.”

3. “My dad broke my heart way before any boy had the chance to.”

4. “If a man cannot be a father to his own child, there is nothing worse than that.”

5. “Just remember when you are ignoring her, you are teaching her to live without you.”

6. “He was supposed to be the first male love of her life search for him everywhere.”

7. “A father may turn his back on his child, but a mother’s love endures through all.“

8. “Respect to all moms doing double duty because of men failing to do their part as dad.“

9. “When you grew up with an absent father, you grew up dreaming and wanting.“

10. “Don’t forgive him. Forgive yourself for believing there is something lacking in you because he wasn’t there.“

11. “One of the saddest things in this world, is to see a child grow up hating one of their parents -father

12. “I miss the father you never were.”

13. “There's nothing worse than a man that can be everything to everybody

else except a father to their own child.“

Starry Eyed

Watercolor on Black Cotton Paper

2024, 22"x 30"

Myosotis, Forget Me Nots

feeling a little insane, might kiII myself later!

i crave being someone’s first choice so bad. why does no one ever choose me over others?

i need constant reassurance bc my brain makes me feel unlovable & i see things in black and white so if i feel the vibe change or if plans change i start spiraling thinking. it's hard for me to think anyone loves or cares for me the same way i care for them unless they are borderline obsessed or show it consistently bc of my lack emotional permanence. the moment i feel even SLIGHTLY rejected or ignored at all i spiral and i will be the meanest person ever about it.

Me trying to explain to my friend why I felt fine an hour earlier and why I feel bad now (I have BPD):

i need to pull a boy close by his belt loops and kiss him so hard he sees stars

A little less lonely

digital painting I did of my boyfriend and I a while back. he is my world