Judge : How Do You Plead ?

Reid : I kind of want to be kissed. But I also kind of want to be stabbed.

Reid : I'm such a failure

Emily : Yes, you are

Reid : I screwed up the case

Emily : Yes, you did

Reid : ..I could use some words of encouragement or comfort.

Emily : Yeah.. But you came to me instead of Garcia.

The BAU having therapy. The psy's reaction :

To Reid : Calls two other psy, and ordered anti-d for himself.

To Morgan : Questions the existence of self-conservation.

To Garcia : Fills adoption papers.

To Hotch : Questions the existence of emotions and humour.

To JJ : Learn that someone can be a mother to the entire civilization.

To Emily : Calls the police.

The BAU watching Encanto :

Reid : You know, Bruno and I have two things in common.

Emily : Please elaborate.

Reid: I can predict when any of your stupid asses are going to do something bad. And no one talks or gives a shit about Spencer.

Morgan : What's the word for when hands are bisexual ?

Reid : ...Do you mean ambidextrous ?

Garcia : I wish we could block people in real life.

JJ : Restraining order

Emily : Murder.

Hotch, answering the phone : Hello ?

Emily : It's Emily.

Hotch, sighing : What did she do this time ?

Emily : No it's me, it's Emily.

Hotch : Okay, what did YOU do this time ?

While discussing a case :

Rossi : Well, in my experience over the years..

Emily : Rossi, the most experienced things you have is to get on my nerves. And cook pasta.

Reid : I wish my daddy issues could just disappear

Gideon : dies

Reid :

Reid : NOT LIKE THAT-

Strauss : So, did none of you noticed that it was a bad idea ?

Rossi : Oh, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.