Sometimes, I Think A Little Too Hard About When I Asked For Someone's Name At A Local Renfaire I Worked

Sometimes, I think a little too hard about when I asked for someone's name at a local renfaire I worked at, and they asked me teasingly if I was a fae, and for a long second, I didn't know what to say back.

I identify as a shape-shifter from how I see myself and how I interact with others. I switch between forms like crazy and can never really picture an actual concrete image of myself in my head.

A lot of this I own up to my own issues with derealization, but also a lot of my personal identity I feel stems from just how I interact with the world. It's always felt like people saw me as something different than them, and that caused this rift between me and my humanity. I can see it, I can feel it in how I want to fight for the things I believe in and in my own personal beliefs about spirituality, but it's funny. My humanity has always been a part of my more spiritual thoughts and practices then my alterhumanity which has always been just me.

I was raised in a setting where dedicating myself to the experience of honoring myself as an individual while still connecting to those around me and recognizing us as one in the same was made my religion. My humanity is present within me as a warm ideal of my hopes and dreams for this world. It still isn't my body, though, which instead became how I feel and how I show my emotion through alterhumanity.

It's like I got flipped inside out.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, I don't know what I am, renfaire lady, but some kind of creature that is fascinated by humanity and likes to be mischievous sounds like it could be a part of it. I'll think about it more next spring.

More Posts from Crypt-void and Others

2 months ago

I always get very agitated when anyone other than a very select few people come into the kitchen when I'm making myself food. It makes me get all growly and defensive.

Sometimes, it's made worse if they ask me what I'm making. Which is crazy! Because if the select few were to ask, I'd happily offer up half to them. But the moment someone outside of that little group tries to reach for what I'm eating, I literally have to stop myself from swatting at their hand.


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1 month ago

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

1 year ago

Me looking at all the sticks I have stored in my cars trunk

Canine therian culture is keeping a stick around to bite and play fetch with

.

8 months ago

Maybe πŸ‘€

I need to be so terror inducing that it's worthy of Wesley level of grotesque description. I also just really like Princess Bride and accidentally quote it :3

I used to use, "I want my _____ back you son of a bitch" a lot too when I was younger lol. Like when someone took a pen or smth.

Born to walk around in the woods, and have someone shriek in horror, exclaiming, "Good GOD, what is that thing!?"

Then, to have a group of kids make up stories about that weird dog thing that stares at you from the edge of the woods.

Forced to just be socially awkward and pay taxes.

10 months ago

i'm ok with being human shaped if I can do it eerily. with an unsettling air about it.


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3 months ago

Memememememe

Getting out of my nice, cozy bed to go to an 8 AM biology lecture was so difficult today.

What do you mean I need to be at school? I'm supposed to be curled up in a dog bed waiting for someone to wake up and give me breakfast...

What Do You Mean I Need To Be At School? I'm Supposed To Be Curled Up In A Dog Bed Waiting For Someone
6 months ago

Thinking about the lore of angels in Para Sanar. What do you mean a God can ascend someone they feel is close to them and make it to where they are to spend the rest of eternity working for and worshiping this deity? Like, even after the angel dies. They're always reborn and remember their job after either meeting their god again or meeting another angel.

It's very sweet when you look at it through the family lens. Angels are some of the closest things the Gods have to family. This one person is destined to stay by your side, forever, no matter what. You're literally bound together as the God gives a part of themself away.

But then there's also the sad way of looking at it. Sometimes angels don't realize what they are being given or that they even have been made an angel. It's a huge rule for Gods that they have to make sure 100% that the person they're ascending understands and wants to become an angel. Otherwise, you've just trapped someone in an endless cycle of following after you until either the world ends or the God dies. Even then, if a God dies, it's like a part of the angel did, too. Being away from their God prompts intense waves of grief and longing. It never ends. That has to be exhausting.

Anyways. I love me and my friends funky minecraft lore, have a nice day.


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1 year ago

It gets a little colder, and suddenly, I can see everything, I can smell everything. I can feel the wind trying to get me to come back to it. It practically screams for me to run and to keep running until I feel how I used to. I think winter grieves me. It dug a hole in the backyard that I never chose to lay down in, and now it has to watch as I try to comprehend what it knows I can't. I don't look how I'm supposed to anymore, I've changed, and it doesn't know what to do with me anymore.


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9 months ago

I just wanna carry my frog and raccoon plushies in my pockets :(

I need carrying around a stuffed animal friend to be normalized

2 months ago

Say it with me now:

They will not trick me into fearing my neighbors

They will not trick me into turning against friends

They will not trick me into turning against coworkers

They will not convince me I am powerless

They will not convince me I am worthless

They will not convince me I am hateful

You're smarter, kinder, and braver than you think you are. Don't let some old incompotent political leaders convince you otherwise.


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