MEEEEE

My toxic trait is that anytime I get too much attention online, I debate for a good minute whether or not to delete my entire account.

You know, if winter grieves me, fall and spring look at me with love and welcoming because they too understand the fact that we all change. No matter how different I am or how conflicted I feel, I'm still me, and that's all that matters.

This dog is not made for the heat.

It's 95°F (35°C) and it feels like 102°F (38.9°C)

Endless dry heat! Has me panting and shit, horrible.

Imagine a dog trying to go to school, and all it can do as it runs around campus is try not to melt into a little puddle.

Anytime my girlfriend sees me eating chocolate >:

yall I might've dog-ed too close to the sun

whenever my sister sees me eating grapes or something with chocolate in it, she tells me to drop it because dogs Can't eat That

I had a bad biting problem when I was younger. That and clawing at people. It wasn't that I didn't know it hurt. I assumed as much. I felt bad after I did it. But people were always touching me.

I hated it. I've always been pretty soft-spoken around people unless I know them well. Teachers have always joked that they can't hear me. Sometimes, I talk very little during the day, and my voice sounds clogged and scratchy by the end of it from not being used. I've always been short. When I was younger, I was kinda scrawny. My claws and teeth often felt like my only defense when people would come near me.

I was always so jumpy, and I had my reasons, but it often led to me panicking and hurting people when I really didn't mean to. They just happened to move a little too quickly when they were a little too close to me. I felt bad about it afterward. I'd feel the urge to whine and lick at my friends' wounds in apology. I couldn't do that, of course, and no injury was too severe, but it still hurt.

I eventually got used to not using my claws and keeping them tucked, especially after I got out of the hostile environment I was in as a kid. However, the urge never really went away. I still panic sometimes when my friends get close to me or move past me too quickly. I do my best not to make any move that could hurt them. They understand a lot of the time, or I hope that they do. They're always quick to tell me it's okay. I still feel bad sometimes, though, when we're play fighting, and suddenly I start snapping my teeth. It doesn't feel very fair to them.

I think I'm better than I used to be. Now I at least keep my claws cut, and when we play, I try to keep my bites from catching any skin, and if they do, I try my best to keep them soft. I try to warn them in the ways I can when I'm not feeling safe, though at times it's difficult as I tend to go very quiet when I'm very upset and can only communicate through body language. I really hope they know that I never intentionally swipe at them in a way that isn't playful or that when I bear my teeth, I'm only trying to ask them to back away.

Me fr

I am big scary wolf

i'm gonna tear off your arms and eat your organs and-

oh

hold on

yes

pet me

petpetpetpet

auhgjejekjd hehehe

Waiting for my fic to update so I can read the last chapter >:

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

Sometimes, I think a little too hard about when I asked for someone's name at a local renfaire I worked at, and they asked me teasingly if I was a fae, and for a long second, I didn't know what to say back.

I identify as a shape-shifter from how I see myself and how I interact with others. I switch between forms like crazy and can never really picture an actual concrete image of myself in my head.

A lot of this I own up to my own issues with derealization, but also a lot of my personal identity I feel stems from just how I interact with the world. It's always felt like people saw me as something different than them, and that caused this rift between me and my humanity. I can see it, I can feel it in how I want to fight for the things I believe in and in my own personal beliefs about spirituality, but it's funny. My humanity has always been a part of my more spiritual thoughts and practices then my alterhumanity which has always been just me.

I was raised in a setting where dedicating myself to the experience of honoring myself as an individual while still connecting to those around me and recognizing us as one in the same was made my religion. My humanity is present within me as a warm ideal of my hopes and dreams for this world. It still isn't my body, though, which instead became how I feel and how I show my emotion through alterhumanity.

It's like I got flipped inside out.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, I don't know what I am, renfaire lady, but some kind of creature that is fascinated by humanity and likes to be mischievous sounds like it could be a part of it. I'll think about it more next spring.

One thing I don't like about it getting colder is that the back of my neck prickles like my fur wants to escape, but it can't. It itches >:

I just want my winter coat damn it